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News for June 2011

Gordon Ramsey Romantic Comedy Film Bombs, UK Profit Opening Night: $181

This made me smirk. Which for an unemotional stoic wank rockstar celebrity blogger like myself is a HUGE expression of mirth comparable to a mere mortals soiling of pants.

AT some point, somebody involved with the romantic comedy Love’s Kitchen must have thought that it was a recipe for success, but box office figures out yesterday told a very different story.

The UK film, starring Dougray Scott (who previously appeared in Desperate Housewives as Teri Hatcher’s love interest), Four Weddings and a Funeral actor Simon Callow and Gordon Ramsay (as himself), had indeed achieved one of the most remarkable opening weekends in cinema history, though not quite in the sense that the producers were hoping for.

Love’s Kitchen grossed precisely £121 ($181) nationwide, The (London) Times reported.

The entire UK takings would cover the cost for one person of the cheapest available dinner with two small glasses of house wine, coffee and chocolates at Restaurant Gordon Ramsay, the Michelin-starred chef’s eatery in Royal Hospital Road, West London.

The record UK box office taking for an opening weekend belongs to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, which grossed £18.32 million $27.4 million) last November.

Love’s Kitchen, by contrast, appears to have been seen by more reviewers than paying punters. You would hope that they enjoyed writer and director James Hacking’s debut film more than the critics.

Wendy Ide, of the Times, awarded it no stars, describing it as “cack-handed, cloth-eared” and featuring “exchanges so painful to watch that you would be better off rubbing Scotch bonnet peppers in your eyes.”

Charles Gant, a box office analyst, said that the film’s opening weekend was “one of the worst performances ever” in the UK. “My guess would be 20 people saw this film,” he said.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/movies/gordon-ramsay-clebrity-chef-film-loves-kitchen-bombs-taking-just-181/story-e6frfmvr-1226085002388#ixzz1QkBQG1Ab
Posted: June 30th, 2011
Categories: celebrity, celebrity gossip, epiclullz, movie reviews, movies
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New WoW ‘free trial’ So Restricted It May Doom New Sales @blizzardcs

(Addendum: If you’re a Blizzard customer service rep reading this, as I’m unsure if you guys DO read public relations issues like you should given that you’re a faceless American corporation where consumer rights are considered a mamby pamby thought experiment like communism, I wish to inform you my reader demographic broke 9 million yesterday, with 100k cascading viewers across all social networks. Keep this in mind when realising what a PR kick to the balls this issue is from my keyboard to my viewers eyes alone. So seriously, pick your fucking game up guys.)

Below is an article from Fairfax outlining the changes to WoW’s 14 day free trial becoming unlimited. I was chatting to a journalist about it, when we discovered the restrictions on accounts was … well, patently absurd.

The 14 day free trial restrictions were moronic, as you REALLY couldn’t experience anything that most of us consider main reasons to play as it was.

The new system, while it sounds good (unlimited free play) has the most absurd restrictions I’ve ever imagined could be imposed. You can’t even /tell, or participate in general chat, or /say apparently. You can’t join a guild, or parties unless they’re lowbier than you. You can’t do much of anything.

The reason this is so bothersome I’m posting about it is, WoW needs new blood. EVERY expansion their membership growth rate has HALVED, and player retention is unspectacular.

I run an extremely large guild (follow us @malleusvindicta or take a peek at our website and ask for an add if you play on US-Moon Guard), I’m an objective play by numbers kind of guy. I’ve seen more people leave the game of age and lifestyle enough to fund ongoing play than join which means one eternal thing.

Blizzard’s World of Warcraft is bleeding both cash and players.

What does this mean to players? It likely means they’ll find ways to make the game more of a grind, so everything takes longer. They’ll likely break a demographic class beyond repair for a few months causing you to rage and roll a new character (ie: hunters broken during every expansion to date, druids … well, always crap) to escape the horrors.

As it is you grind to end game, grind all your faction rep up, grab that gear to grind a charity tier, use that to grind a full tier, then bam, new tier, grind grind grind grind bloody grind. It’s like a twisted Skinner box experiment without cheese as a reward.

My recommendation to Blizzard is, pick up your game, let them experience WoW properly, perhaps limit trading and partying with people too high a level above. For the instigating article, read below.

Ps: It’d be nice if you allowed us to PURCHASE level 85 status with in game stuff or even bloody cash, I don’t have the time to level a new 85 every time you ruin my classes in question, and you can kill the power-leveling industry you so seem to hate (even though it causes longer player duration, and gold sales balance your very VERY poor concept of an economy) and will allow us to not have to spend several months of the year just grinding through the same boring crap grinds.

 

THAT impenetrable fortress of online gaming, World of Warcraft, has made a concession to the free-to-play hordes that gather in an effort to chip away at the empire – it’s also free.

At least, WoW‘s new Starter Edition is free.

Replacing a more customary 14-day trial and scrubbing its time limit, the Starter Edition nonetheless carries over the trial’s restrictions.

In place of a time limit is instead a cap that halts character progression at level 20 out of a possible 85.

Coincidentally, it takes about two weeks playing a couple of hours each day to reach level 20, but on the other hand, those with the Starter Edition can grind out as many sub-20 characters as they like.

So what can’t they do? Well, the social experience is significantly diminished: there’s no voice or public chat, no guilds, no item trading (a key part of WoW‘s internal economy), and Starter users are prevented from creating or joining parties that contain members over the level 20 threshold.

Oh, and there’s a wealth limit of 10 gold – but that’s actually a decent amount in WoW terms.

For now at least, WoW remains steadfastly focused on converting new players into paid subscribers, bundling in the Burning Crusade expansion for those that pony up.

Other massively multiplayer games (MMOs) that become free-to-play – Lord of the Rings Online, Champions Online, and (soon) LEGO Universe and City of Heroesmake money by means of an in-game shop that offers extra items and quests, with optional premium memberships taking the place of a subscription tier.

Some, like Allods Online and Vindictus, launch as free-to-play from the off.

Guild Wars 2 will require a one-time retail purchase only; and then there are the brave few, such as RIFT, that pursue a fully fledged subscription model in an effort to beat the 12-million subscriber WoW at its own game.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/technology/gaming/world-of-warcraft-finally-hitcches-a-ride-on-the-free-to-play-bandwagon/story-e6frfrt9-1226084867336#ixzz1QjtHYUde
Posted: June 30th, 2011
Categories: game reviews, games, rant, reviews, warcraft economics, world of warcraft
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Abdul Tiba of Guildford St, Coolaroo & Kassab Krazies, Want Airfare Back to Lebanon? I’ll help!

Abdul Tiba, a crazy man with a crazy beard, talked tough today to the media. He’s a refugee from Lebanon, and while most of my readers know I’m a softy for the fugees as we’re all immigrants for the most part, this guy’s so fucked up I’ll pay for his airfare to get the fuck out of our country and stay out and take his crazy warmongering with him.

While playing the victim card, he identifies himself as the ‘head of’ a family involved in a so far bloodless fued that has caused several shootings and one bombing over the past week.

On Fairfax Radio, and cross posted on News.com.au he went on to state “No one helps me in this country, no police, not any community, no St Vincents (de Paul), no one … I tell them I want to protect my family. No one cares about this. They want to give me all the responsibility for this and I don’t know nothing. I give them my statement but still no one cares in this country.”

Heaven forbid if a man has responsibility. Especially over caring for his family. Especially while waging war on another family. I’m sure he’ll play ignorant, but I’m pretty sure families just don’t outright try and kill each other for no reason; even more so in a nation where gun laws are so pedantic even our Olympic shooters are fleeding to other nations, losing us dozens of gold medals because of it.

Of course he won’t stand up, take responsibility, and disarm his kin who’re running around in revenge attacks either. That’s too much responsibility for him to handle.

In other gems he went on air with, “I’ve been sleeping in the car. They give me two days in a motel like a fucking gypsy,” nothing like a bit of racial vilification to add to his charm.

And in the best nonsensical passage of drivel I’ve read or even heard: “I’ve had enough of this stress. Australia country they bring on 2006 from Lebanon all the citizenship, they spend 20 million thousand dollars but no one can spend $1000 to save my family. I tell them I want to go back, I don’t want to stay in this shit country like that.”

The fued is between the Kassab family and the Tiba family, and of course Mr Bigbeard-littleresponsibility has no clue why it’s happening or why his house in Guildford Street, Coolaroo is being targeted.

“If I know I tell the police. I don’t know,” Mr Tiba said on Monday to Fairfax journalists. Police have said they have spoken to the families but have received no co-operation, so it seems they’re adamant to duke it out and put innocent lives at stake for some petty blood fued, yesterday at 3pm in Glenroy, on a busy street, they did just that by carrying out a drive by shooting.

For my international readers, I have to stress, this just doesn’t happen here, and it’s only a minority of a minority who carry out such foolish acts.

News.com.au stated that a house in nearby Jacana was shot at last Thursday and again on Monday morning, followed by a car chase that ended in more shots being fired at a playground. They also stated that Mr Tiba’s house has been shot at twice, had a home-made bomb thrown through the window and been rammed by a truck and so far no one has been injured in the incidents.

So, without further ado, I wish to offer to buy the lot of them tickets back to Lebanon, where a lot of refugees originated during their civil war and other violence in the Middle East, most of which are thankful to be here while a minority brought the attitudes of warmongering hate fuelled stupidity across with them (kind of makes you wonder if we accidentally let in people who started the grief over there and not the victims of it per se!).

Again, to international readers, I just wish to stress that shit like this doesn’t happen here, this is a first for our country. And by no means tar all refugees by the same brush, as these two families are a special kind of fuckwit. The kind that clearly comes from thousands of years of incestuous inbreeding, drinking sea water, and eating strange mushrooms down the end of the yard, mixed with liberal dashings of head droppings as children.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/national/abdul-tiba-head-of-feud-family-says-australia-is-a-s-countryand-police-cant-protect-him/story-e6frfkx0-1226084204186#ixzz1Qdnh847M
Posted: June 29th, 2011
Categories: critical thought, epiclullz, journalism, op ed, politix, rant
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Car Impounding, and Criminal Policing Practices (Or, why we NEED a Bill of Rights) @sapolicenews @nswpolice

Today I broke 9,000,000 viewers per week. I figure to mark this occasion I ought to have a nice satisfying little rant about the patent nonsensical inequality in this nation, and illustrate (given that most of you are internationals) just how hideously deranged the Australian concept of rights are. What set this off was an article about police confiscating cars from people. The people were ‘hoons’ who arguably ‘had it coming’, but the question is … is that a right and just reasoning for civil injustice? The objective and logical answer is no.

In two states that I know of, police often confiscate things from the populus, like disgruntled school teachers. I once had a utility / dive knife (2″ blade, tiny) secured to a dive belt confiscated that was locked in the boot of my car by Manly Police (known as notoriously pathological and unstable authoratarian nutjobs to most Sydney siders) that was given to me by my dead father on my 13th birthday as a reward for my first successful scuba. I explained it had priceless emotional value to me, and they said the alternative is a huge fine, I stated even if it’s a few grand, give me the fine. They took the knife.

Needless to say, there’s a lot of very over the top policing practices in Australia, a nation with a crime rate one tenth that of Britain where police (aside from being polite, nice, and there to help the community and capable of being approached and chatted to, whereas here (specifically NSW) the police have a chip on their shoulder, won’t talk to you (unless you’re female, as one colleage just pointed out to me), and wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire) are unarmed and … well, normal. Here they drive high performance luxury cars (which if you live near Reservoir Road, in Prospect, you’ll quite often see them doing burn outs at the old drive through when they think no one is watching) that cost a packet, and carry melee weapons, chemical weapons, electroshock weapons, and firearms.

This all probably stems from the ‘us and them’ mentality of Australia originally being a penal colony, the police here really do think they’re NYPD and that we’re all gangbanging black guys who need a good Rodney King’ing to teach us our station in life. The attitude is unbelievable, especially when it comes to civil rights matters. Hell, in NSW they try and strong-arm protestors into believing they need police permission to protest and that police can tell them how long for, what they can and can’t do, whether they’re allowed to use bull-horns, or even carry signs. It really is an ugly, ugly thing to behold, as an international (British citizen) who’s toured the world many times over and encountered enough to make this ugly sore on human rights insult me personally to such a degree, moreso the fact that Australian citizens tolerate it, albeit are brainwashed into thinking it’s a good thing.

Maybe they’re just not a 18-35 year old white middle class male (who tend to cop a lot of harassment because the police know they’ll cop it on the chin, and pay any subsequent fines like a good bitch and not take it to court), and especially not indigenous (who have a notorious track record of instances of police abusing move on and profanity laws to persecute them if they ‘get smart’). You’ll always have that posse who’d argue to my prior parenthetical comment that it ‘serves them right for getting smart’, but I’m sorry to say, such an argument is fundamentally flawed; it’s their perogative to express their freedom in whatever way they choose and it’s the police REQUIREMENT that they remain patient and not be tossers. Except in Australia.

In the last five or so years laws to allow them to impound vehicles have come into play. Recently, in Adelaide (South Australia, for my international readers) five Nissan Skylines were impounded, a mere google shows multiple POLICE WEBSITES lauding that ‘hoons’ will ‘lose their cars for good’ under new ‘hoon laws’. This isn’t going to solve the problem by any means, as education is the only reform possible, but merely impact financially on people and clog up the courts, let alone the occasional innocent victim being wronged so harshly by the government given the price of vehicles over here.

POLICE have impounded five Nissan Skylines after a video of six cars racing through Adelaide’s Heysen Tunnel was posted on YouTube.

Five men, aged 21 to 34, also face a range of driving offences in relation to the race in May when the cars reached speeds of up to 143km/h in a 90km/h zone.

Police used the YouTube video, along with closed circuit camera vision, to identify five of the six cars.

A light-coloured Skyline is the only car outstanding.

Officer in charge of traffic support Linda Fellows said the cars would be impounded for 28 days.

“Police will take every opportunity to investigate dangerous driving behaviour and take people off the roads if they can’t obey the rules and drive responsibly,” Superintendent Fellows said.

“We have a rising road toll and it’s actions like this that can result in further carnage and road trauma.

“Police will not tolerate the public being put at risk by the reckless and irresponsible actions of a few.”

Whilst their agenda seems idealistic, and perhaps a bit on the goose stepping storm trooper line, the apalling part is that this is arguably constitutional and thus even more of an alarming proof that we NEED a bill of rights in Australia, there are three RIGHTS which the Constitution guarantees against the Commonwealth – religious freedom, trial by jury, and “just terms” compensation. (A referendum proposal to amend the Constitution to clarify these rights and to make them good also against the States was defeated in 1988.) As will be seen, guaranteed access to the High Court can itself amount to an important right. And the guarantee of free trade and commerce was for a time interpreted as something like an individual right.

The Constitution however clearly gives the Commonwealth power “with respect to … the acquisition of property on just terms” in Section 51(xxxi). By contrast, the Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution contains a prohibition: “nor shall private property be taken … without just compensation”. The differences between acquisition and taking, and between terms and compensation, combined with the fact that the Australian provision is expressed as a positive grant of power coupled with a limitation, have been read so as to weaken the Australian guarantee relative to the American one.

The use of the term “acquisition” has been abused by the government so as to require that the Commonwealth (or some other party for a Commonwealth purpose) actually acquire possessory or proprietary rights over the property in question, or at least some benefit so that the mere extinguishment of a person’s proprietary rights by the Commonwealth (or a prohibition on effectively exercising them) is insufficient to amount to an acquisition1. And “just terms” has been taken to mean something less than “just compensation”; in particular, it does not necessarily require payment to the owner of the value of the property when it was compulsorily acquired2. The Australian film The Castle addresses this issue also.

These issues are very disheartening as a person who has had much life experience and done the rounds and seen what the rest of the world experience and live with. It honestly often makes me question how I can be a dual citizen, live here, let alone pay taxes to finance such lunacy. But the worst part of Australia, if you ask me, is their cattle-like complacency with their rights being stripped from them.

From internet censorship, through to a duly elected Prime Minister (the leader of our national, like the US President) having a bloodless coup d’etat run against him because he was negotiating a fair 50/50 split to our resources and minerals with mining giants, only to have the leader of the coup (or rather the muppet who was given the nod by the mining giants and those protecting their interests) RE-ELECTED (albeit the votes stated she didn’t win, but they claimed they did and then got a few independent senators to share power) as Prime Minister.

That makes Australia’s first Prime Minister an anti-democratic dog who has screwed us out of trillions of dollars, ironically she may face the axe soon because she’s bringing in an environmental tax that will make our ecology significantly stronger, our overall health increase, and make us billions from high poluuters but cost families $50 a year or so. So she cost us trillions, but because she’s going to cost us $50 a year but make us billions, she’s out. I mean, what the fuck?

Okay, that’s the end of my rant. But seriously, be thankful you live in a sane nation. Unless you’re an American. 😛

Posted: June 29th, 2011
Categories: critical thought, politix, rant, vox pop
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Put your Best Foot Forward, Odd Saying With No Origins

This is a short blog post, simply more a musing than anything else. I was watching something that utilised the term “Put your best foot forward” and it got me wondering, given how odd a comment it was that it linguistically implies we have three or more feet.

The Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings dates “Always put your best foot forward” to 1495, but provides no supporting evidence for what it means, merely a first notation time.

‘Put your best foot forward’ is rather an odd saying for us to use as it implies three or more feet. A maths lecturer would propose the answer to a student’s question as ‘two quarters’, perhaps.

This is primarily because ‘the best’ is the name we give for something that surpasses ALL others.

Something that surpasses ONE other is specifically called ‘the better’, as in one’s wife being called ‘one’s better half’.

Cows (and Rolf Harris) may be able to put their best foot forward but ‘better foot forward’ makes the only sense for humans unless the writer, or speaker in question, is implying they have three feet. I’ve heard of people bragging about having three legs, but really?

Shakespeare, not usually a stickler for linguistic exactitude, used a ‘proper’ form of the expression in King John, 1595 :

“Nay, but make haste; the better foot before.”

As I said, just a musing.

Posted: June 28th, 2011
Categories: general
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Life’s a Bitch, Dog Day Afternoon?

The pun’s are practically endless, as the news today has gone to the dogs, osnap.

POLICE say a Colorado man is suspected of stomping his girlfriend’s puppy to death because she wouldn’t answer her phone.

Colorado Springs police arrested 25-year-old Christopher Blackstone on suspicion of felony cruelty to animals after his girlfriend discovered her dog wrapped in a garbage bag in a trash bin outside her apartment on December 24.

The Colorado Springs Gazette newspaper reported police as saying Mr Blackstone argued with his girlfriend at their apartment and ignored his calls after she left.

She told police that she later got a text message telling her that if she had answered her phone her “dog would still be alive”.

On the flipside, if you’re a Police dog handler you can get away with animal cruelty in the line of duty and only get a slap on the wrist if your cruelty results in the death of the animals in question.

THE head of a police dog training school in the UK was reportedly recovering today from an attempt to commit suicide after two police dogs roasted to death in his car on one of the hottest days of the year.

Sergeant Ian Craven could face prosecution for animal cruelty after the dogs – a Belgian Malinois bitch called Chay and a German Shepherd puppy, Tilly – were found dying in an unventilated vehicle at the Metropolitan Police’s training centre in Kent, south-east England, on Sunday (local time) as temperatures soared to 84F (29C).

It is the second time a puppy in his care has died after being left in a sweltering car in hot weather. He was disciplined following a similar incident three years ago.

The 49-year-old father of three, one of England’s most experienced dog handlers, had locked the animals in his vehicle with the windows closed before going to a meeting in east London. He remembered them around an hour later and phoned colleagues to raise the alarm.

Kennel workers cut open the cage, but despite attempts to resuscitate the dogs, they were later pronounced dead by an emergency vet.

Kennel assistant, Tina Dale, 54, who was among those who tried to save the animals, described it as the “worst day of my life”.

She said on a social networking site, “The suffering those dogs went through is too unbearable to think about. I’m in bits, we tried so so hard, but it was too long, the damage had been done. What a bloody awful way to die.”

The deaths follow those of two German Shepherd police dogs, who were left to die in a baking hot car outside Nottinghamshire Police headquarters in July 2009. Police dog handler Mark Johnson was handed a six-month conditional discharge after he was found guilty of animal cruelty in relation to their deaths.

Then to top it all off: –

A KIND pensioner was eaten “to the bone” by a pack of stray dogs – after taking the animals into her home to live with her.

Police found the remains of Tatyana Konstantinovna, 62, alongside the corpses of her 11 dogs – who had starved to death after feasting on their new owner.

Detectives investigating the deaths say today that they are uncertain whether she suddenly died or was killed after an attack by one of the dogs.

A spokesman said: “The animals had no food, and proceeded to eat her.

“They gnawed all the meat off her body, literally to the bone.

“Then the dogs died as well from starvation.”

Although, ironically in search of more dog related news, I clicked a slightly older article, check out the other relevant links presented: http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/british-man-jailed-for-kicking-puppy/story-e6frfku0-1225990135089

There’s some messed up stuff that goes on in this wide world of ours.

Posted: June 28th, 2011
Categories: general
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Dirt 2, Ken Block, Douch Baggery to the Max

Occasionally I come across someting so fucking horrible that I can’t POSSIBLY review it in 140 characters, and I’ve been drinking, bad mix. When it comes to bad games Dirt 2 takes the cake. I wanted to buy Dirt 3, but K-Mart are useless as tits on a bull and never have any games in stock (aside from games from 2009 being sold for $149, I shit you not, I have pics to prove it (and will tweet them when I find my iPhone). I honestly think this may have beaten Pure, the all time WORST FUCKING GAME IN THE WORLD that I blogged about a year or so back because it blew my mind that something could be so woeful, although that was made by Disney, so that says a lot about this game trumping it in the shit stakes.

In life, you have car dorks, then you have car guys.

Car dorks buy a Holden Commodore SV8, with it’s fresh from Thailand cheap nasty ABS plastic interior, it’s underperforming small block V8 that’s blown away by a little German 1.6 litre puppy like my Fiesta, but sounds like you’re going hard even at idle and you know that’s ALL THAT MATTERS, right? Oh, and because Holden racing team sink more money into V8 super car events and WIN! They win, so clearly their cars are the best, I mean, it’s not like their on road cars are any different than a million dollar race car that’s been specially developed by a group of thirty engineers who’s full time job is to make it devestatingly fast, surely the out the box $29,000 base model Commo’s do that too! This is their mentality. They’ll probably buy it because it’s an ‘Aussie’ car, even though it’s been American and not made on shore for the last couple of decades.

Car guys will divide kw / $$ and read up on the vehicle and purchase it based on the dynamics of the vehicle. They will do so based not on branding, commercialisation, how ‘pretty’ it is, or how it’s distant cousin in racing platform form with a mil of engineering dropped on it wins things. They will do so based purely on an understanding of the elements required of the right car for the job, taking into consideration elements such as cost to own as opposed to cost to buy, etc. They’ll also look into simplistic base level mods they can make on the cheap to get things rolling too usually. These are car guys (or girls, I guess there’s some out there, but very few).

This game is for car dorks. Pull right trigger, aim for things that don’t look like walls, win race. Even on hard settings. It’s a very polished product and looks great, but that’s it. You can’t customize your vehicle, aside from like 4 custom liveries, that aren’t custom, but commercialised wank, but that sums up this game. In the racing world one commercialised wanker is Ken Block. He puts together films for YouTube using a multi million dollar budget and full film production unit in his overpriced cars with no expense spared. Basically he’s just a rich kid who’s decided to try and pretend to be a race car driver but hasn’t even placed anywhere exciting yet.

Sad part is, you have people out there who idolise him and other dickweeds purely because they saw the vids on YouTube and … well, can’t fucking read up on a subject or tell sensationalistic babble from their own arsehole. He’s the owner of DC shoes, and tries desperately to be one of the cool kids but fails. That is the constant vibe throughout this game. You’ve got aggressive beats that would be pretty phat if they weren’t 10 second samples looped, great graphics and corporate / commercialised designs on … well, everything.

The entire thing is just pure complete product placement of sponsors and no game content. I’m SO glad I only paid $26 for it, but I REALLY fucking want to take it back. I’d set the fucking thing on fire and film it as a video response to one of Bent Cock’s uh, Ken Block’s YouTube videos but I’ve paid for it so they’ve already won. They even had the audacity to release downloadable (bought) content. Stupidest. Fucking. Game. Ever.

Posted: June 27th, 2011
Categories: consumer reviews, game reviews, games, rant
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‘Witch’ / Alt-Med Fruit Gets 2 Months Gaol for Assaulting a Cop

The self-styled witch title already sets off alarm bells that she’s one of those batshi insane internet lurkers, and alternative therapies practitioner alone should have scored her a prison sentence. However, even though she claimed she was not subjec to earthly laws she was whisked off to another world today when a judge sentenced her to two months behind bars for being a dickbutt.

As she was being led to the cells Eilish De’Avalon told Judge Geoff Chettle: “I decline your offer, your Honour”.

“You decline my offer? Well I’m afraid it’s not negotiable,” Judge Chettle replied.

In his County Court sentence the judge said Sen-Constable Andrew Logan suffered serious arm and shoulder injuries in the incident in Geelong, Victoria, in February last year.

Judge Chettle said Sen-Constable Logan pulled De’Avalon over in Moorabool St after he saw her talking on her mobile phone while driving and asked for her details.

The judge said De’Avalon, of Highton, behaved in a bizarre fashion, telling the officer she was from another world and did not need a licence and that she had a spiritual and universal name that was not recognised here.

“Your laws and penalties don’t apply to me. I’m not accepting them, I’m sorry, I must go, thank you,” she told the officer.

Judge Chettle said she then drove off with Sen-Constable Logan’s arm trapped in the driver’s side window and it was only when she slowed down to turn a corner that he was able to reach in and grab her keys.

“The police officer was clinging on for dear life,” he said.

Judge Chettle said a message had to be sent from the courts that such behaviour was unacceptable.

“Police have to be protected when carrying out their everyday duties which are designed to protect people,” Judge Chettle said.

Outside court Sen-Constable Logan said he estimated he was stuck on the side of the car for 22 seconds.

“It was one hell of a ride,” Sen-Contable Logan said. “It was a case of hang on and survive.

“She told me on the day the rules of the state and the laws don’t apply to her. She got two months inside to think about it and I hope it changes her mind.

“It just worried me that her attitude might bring some other police officer unstuck.”

De’Avalon, 40, a marriage celebrant, self-styled witch and alternative therapies practitioner, pleaded guilty in Geelong Magistrates’ Court to recklessly causing serious injury, dangerous driving and driving while disqualified, using a mobile phone while driving and failing to stop on police request.

She was jailed for two months with another four months suspended, fined $1250 and had her licence was suspended for a year.

The magistrate granted bail after she indicated she would appeal the sentence to the County Court.

After hearing the second part of that appeal today Judge Chettle said that he believed the original sentence was too lenient but he would re-impose it after hearing De’Avalon had an anxiety disorder that prevented her from making a rational choice when pulled over by Sen-Constable Logan.

Judge Chettle heard she had a number of prior driving convictions and in December last year was pulled over again in Geelong for running a red light.

A psychiatrist told the court today that De’Avalon had expressed remorse and offered Sen-Constable Logan “spiritual healing and a massage” which he refused.

Posted: June 23rd, 2011
Categories: epiclullz
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Man Murdered by Platypus

A MAN who bashed his gay housemate to death with items including an 8kg platypus statue has been found guilty of murder for the second time by a Supreme Court jury.

Melbourne man Aaron James Johnstone, 29, subjected Phillip William Higgins, a 46-year-old openly gay man, to a protracted assault involving kicks, punches and the use of an office chair before finally dropping the statue on his victim during the killing in September 2006, the Herald Sun reported.

Johnstone, who appeared to be handling a string or rosary beads in the dock, faces a potential sentence of 18-20 years, the court heard.

The jury had heard Johnstone “lost it” after a drunken Mr Higgins walked naked into the room where Johnstone was and proposed oral sex.

Johnstone, who pleaded not guilty to murder, had admitted to police he assaulted Mr Higgins but said he was angry at being propositioned and was himself “grossly intoxicated” at the time.

Prosecutor Mark Rochford, SC, had earlier told the court Mr Higgins had a blood alcohol reading of .32 and had suffered a range of injuries including a broken neck and abrasions.

Mr Higgins was found dead, with a pair of underpants beside him, on the floor of the Seaford home the men shared.

Mr Rochford said Johnstone told police Mr Higgins had come out of the bedroom and said he would like to have oral sex with him, at which point an enraged Johnstone hit and kicked his victim before dropping the statue on him.

The Crown said Johnstone either intended to kill or to cause really serious injury during the attack.

But defence lawyer John Desmond argued Johnstone had not intended to kill Mr Higgins and had become angry because Mr Higgins had previously asked him for sex.

Justice Robert Osborn remanded Johnstone in custody and ordered he reappear for a plea hearing next Tuesday.

The Court of Appeal in March ordered Johnstone stand a retrial over the murder of Mr Higgins after he was originally convicted and sentenced more than two years ago to 18 years jail, with a non-parole period of 14 years.

Johnstone had offered to plead guilty to manslaughter but the Crown maintained, despite his own level of intoxication, he was aware of the potential to kill or inflict really serious injury.

The retrial was ordered after an appeal found errors in the prosecution case and the direction given to the jury in the original hearing.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/national/aaron-james-johnstone-guilty-of-killing-flatmate-phillip-william-higgins/story-e6frfkvr-1226080631975#ixzz1Q4LeOxED

Posted: June 23rd, 2011
Categories: general
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Science Cured my Hiccups, Please Retweet and Save Lives!

As most of you know, I’m a very cynical and scientific / critical thinker. I know alternative medicine is bullshit because if it worked it wouldn’t be alternative. I can also tell an old wives tale when I see one. However recently, for the first time in a decade, I got the hiccups. Fifteen minutes in I was bitching on Twitter and to friends via SMS. Half an hour in I was getting light headed. Forty five minutes in my throat was burning from reflux and I wanted to spew and was trying to find my handgun.

At that point I began going through a list of all the ‘cures’ for hiccups, most were stupid and clearly wouldn’t have worked having much the same scientific or medical grounding as praying does to curing cancer. If you’re shaking your head and saying prayer has any powers besides placebo effect, get the fuck off my website, you’re far too gone as a human being and have delved deep into the heart of moronicism.

I shortlisted a dozen old wives tale type cures that seemed to have SOME potential scientific application. Just as people tend to have different ideas about what causes hiccups, they also disagree on ways to stop them. Almost everyone knows at least one way to treat hiccups. Some families swear by their method, and refuse to believe that any others work.

Common cures for the hiccups include drinking a glass of water in some way. Some people swear by gulping, others insist on small sips, and some require that you tilt your head upside down and drink from the opposite side of the glass to make the hiccups go away.

No cure was found. By well over the hour mark I was seriously getting frustrated and angry about it when I realised I should be searching scholar.google not just google. So, first link of a scientific / medical paper on hiccups listed one method that had pure logical based purposes (I won’t go into specifics to save you the tl;dr) and I gave it a shot.

Literally IMMEDIATELY my hiccups were gone.

What was this magical method? Inhale deeply, filling your lungs, raising your arms above your head (laterally, ie: put your arms out like you’re JC on the cross, as you inhale, raise them above your head) then hold your breath and take as many little gaspy inhalations you can to stretch your diphragm and lungs that little bit more and count to ten.

It worked instantly, straight up, 100% effectively for me. But as this was my first bout in a decade I’m unsure if I’ll get the chance to test this out again anytime soon, but I have the utmost faith in it’s medical theory and grounding. So, when you get them next, do this to cure them, and shoot an @bashpr0mpt Tweet at me letting me know it worked.

Now, go back to Twitter if you found this blog post link there, and click Retweet. Let’s get this information out there so other poor bastards aren’t suffering for an hour feeling like idiots in the middle of the night unable to sleep; and also save them doing the stupid things I humored just to be able to say “I tried everything.” which clearly didn’t work.

If you don’t retweet this, I hope you get ball cancer and die. If you don’t have balls, I hope you get pregnant, have a kid, and it has balls, and they get ball cancer and die. If you don’t have balls but can’t get pregnant, well, you’re already punished enough. 😛

Posted: June 22nd, 2011
Categories: critical thought, general, oddities, rant, science
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Insurance Companies @AAMI @Bingle @NRMA Are Sexist

You can pay 10%-25% more for your insurance with the above insurers (I’m sure others are equally guilty) based purely on gender, if you’re male, you lose out.

I always find it ironic when sexism loldrama hits the tabloidal news over here, with claims women get paid significantly less than men and get treated worse, when in reality … well.

I propose anyone who believes that shit should run a little test. Hop on say, an MMORPG, roll a female character and a male. See which one gets given free shit, leveled, helped out, aided and entertained all day every day. You can play that game from begining to end game as a male and never actually even get a single word from another player.

As a male, I’m kind of fucked off at all this bullshit. I often promote mannimism, a reversal of feminism, trying to oppose outright sexism against men as the worthless sex.

If you support this ideal, follow @maninism on Twitter right now and let’s get something happening about it.

Posted: June 21st, 2011
Categories: critical thought, epiclullz, politix, rant, scams
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Lulz Security: Project Mayhem Online

‘Criminal hackers’ who crippled the CIA website this week have published student’s email logins as well as Facebook and PayPal accounts.

The group known as “Lulz Security” dumped more than 62,000 personal details on Twitter yesterday, inviting people to try the passwords on everything from bank accounts to online stores.

It is claimed the passwords were downloaded 2100 times in the first 4 minutes after release.

Twitter was soon flooded with claims from individuals who said they had used the passwords to gain illicit access to Facebook and PayPal accounts.

“I chatted with some girl’s boyfriend (on Facebook) and told him that I would never f*** him again. He said “no problem, I understand ” wtf” – Twitter user @Pedacitodepan

“Cheers for the paypal account with £250 in it! ;)” – Twitter user @Murraaayyy

“Ordered a large pack of condoms for an elderly woman on Amazon” – Twitter user @RDisher

Emails and passwords of University of Queensland students and a high school student in central Queensland were also published along with logins at seven other Australian universities.

Lulz Security took credit for crashing the CIA website for several hours on Thursday and have also reportedly attacked Sony, Nintendo, the US Senate, the US Public Broadcasting System and Infraguard, a private company that works with the FBI.

The hackers said the attacks were “just for kicks” and that the passwords in the recent leak were “a random assortment from a collection”.

“So don’t ask which site they’re from or how old they are because we have no idea,” the group said.

“Releasing 62,000 possible account combinations is the loot for creative minds to scour; think of it like digging a very unique mineshaft.”

James Cook University and Griffith University logins were also compromised but it is not clear if they were for students or faculty.

Representatives for both universities said there had been no intrusion of their servers, while UQ’s director of IT services Rob Moffatt said none of the university’s email addresses were breached.

Only one of the UQ addresses was still live and the password was incorrect, he said.

“We have investigated these claims and have ascertained that the group involved has not breached any active university accounts,” Mr Moffatt said.

“UQ staff and students should not be concerned about the integrity of their university accounts.

“UQ takes these issues very seriously and will continue to monitor developments.”

Queensland police said they were monitoring the situation.

Fraud Squad Detective Superintendent Brian Hay said the hackers had “delusions” they were helping people by exposing security flaws.

“The reality is these people are committing criminal acts and are stealing innocent people’s details and publishing them to the detriment of everybody,” Supt Hay said.

“They think they’re clever and laughing now but they’re taking on organisations like the CIA and the FBI.”

The most cyber attacks on Australians was reported last year and this year was set to be worse, Supt Hay said.

“Queenslanders should regularly change their passwords to their online logins.

“You almost have to operate with the expectation that you will be compromised.”

Posted: June 18th, 2011
Categories: general
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Apple Controlling iPhonems: A Step Too Far

An article i found that given my recent disenchantment with iProducts due to their asinine dictionary failures had me fuming.

Apple wants to stop you from filming rock concerts and sporting events on your smartphone.

The company is working on technology that will automatically disable a person’s iPhone camera when it is used to film a live event.

Apple filed a patent application for the software 18 months ago, according to information obtained by The Times (behind paywall).

The software could stop ticket-holders to the Big Day Out, State of Origin and the NRL and AFL grand finals filming the occasion on their iPhone.

Anybody trying to film an event with their iPhone would attract the attention of infra-red sensors installed at the venue.

The sensors would instruct the iPhone to disable its camera. However, the phone’s ability to make a call or send text messages would not be affected.

The Times reports that the technology is being seen as an attempt to protect the rights of event organisers and TV broadcasters who have exclusive rights to film an event and are upset when phone videos appear on YouTube, allowing people to watch the event free.

The software may allow Apple to negotiate better terms with record labels for selling content though iTunes.

Hans Eriksson, chairman of Swedish tech firm Bambuser, which has built an app allowing people to stream their live recordings on the internet, told The Times: “Apple is smart. I assume Apple is not doing this just to protect against people sharing copyrighted material.

“Hopefully, they see there’s an opportunity to make money here.”

Apple refused to comment on the report.

Posted: June 17th, 2011
Categories: general
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Spam Scripts; Nouveau Poets of the Digital Era (Lookout @DalaiLama)

I noted with amusement casually looking at the bazillions of comments I get, a few hundred being from humans at best, and realized in an attempt to generate a near natural sounding load of wording that many batshit insane creepy artistes are out of a job.

I must say, I was mightily impressed. In fact, this is probably more moving than the Dalai Lama’s Twitter feed. More sensical too. The following prophetical rant came courtesy of one such spam script:

“V star 1100, wearisomely humble virgo was smirched. V star 1100, ceremonial mike will have sapped. V star 1100, mickie radiates within the beleita. V star 1100, freshwater necessity is the intramural aurek. V star 1100, diploid ses may hermetically clamour. Love shall distil. Culottes are the goers.

Gently ornithischian hastings is a breakfast. Altogether molal tronas may obscenely joggle per the yah pitcairner tad. Such audiometers extremly bifacially hoodwinks. Autonomous swearword is primly personalizing trendily withe outgrowth. Dynasties acervately psychoanalyses. Trisyllable had undescribably limned. Endocarditis shall although prolong under the soulful lillian.

Deontology was the muffler.

Afoot theressa may harm on the soaker. Incoherency was the treacherously senatorial unbeliever. Number — theoretically multipliable narthextremly southerly ransacks withindoors within the urbanely varangian wunderkind. Rotational topic was the unlimited jubilance. Preponderant dispersant is the blind nucivorous confirmation.”

Posted: June 16th, 2011
Categories: critical thought, epiclullz, oddities, pop culture, technology
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Silence is Golden; Should We Be Trying to Talk to Aliens?

Sounds daft from the title, but by now most of you know I phrase those to attract readers who are used to modern tabloidal headlines and could benefit the most from a pinch of critical thought.

Very recently Australia has begun the rollout of the largest sequential bank of radio telescopes in history, producing one behemoth structure per week. Also recently we have begun broadcasting, to planets in the goldilocks zone shortlisted as most probably capable of sustaining life.

The new radio telescope banks will form one badass giant radio telescope. This will undoubtedly be at some point used in the above grandiose endeavor of pestering the neighbors, like some chav council housing skank (iPad in it’s infinite fail thinks skank is REALLY an attempt to type ska keyboard … ) blasting Celine Dion waking the elderly residents nearby.

Stephen Hawkings, Arthur C. Clark, even the late Carl Sagan in his infinite wisdom held misgivings about sending out signals. It’s too early in the morning to research my usual citations or sources, but I do believe another equally brainy chap addressed that at any point in human history where a more advanced civilization encounters a lesser advanced it never worked out too well for the locals.

Even decades ago we made such mistakes. The Voyager program is carrying a gold plated copper record (like a vinyl record) that contains audio AND images and a means to access them through convoluted brainy calculations based on the rotational cycle of electrons in hydrogen atoms (I shit you not).

The collection of images includes many photographs and diagrams both in black and white and color. The first images are of scientific interest, showing mathematical and physical quantities, the solar system and its planets, DNA, and human anatomy and reproduction.

Care was taken to include not only pictures of humanity, but also some of animals, cattle, insects, plants and landscapes.

Other images show food, architecture, and humans in portraits as well as going about their day to day lives. Many pictures are annotated with one or more indications of scales of time, size, or mass. Some images contain indications of chemical composition.

All measures used on the pictures are defined in the first few images using physical references that are likely to be consistent anywhere in the universe.

In what may be the worlds most expensive attempt at a galactic message in a bottle we forget one thing.

Globally we feed over TWO HUNDRED TIMES what would feed the entire world to ecologically destructive animals bred for consumption by humans. This, to any advanced culture, would appear asinine, idiotic, and worse, primitive.

Do we REALLY want to be pestering the neighbors, not with Celine Dion, but proof we’re so massively under evolved that while one in three humans lives in squalor going hungry another one in three are not only inflicting horrid acts upon the creatures we share this world with but do so in what could be the most aggrandized snub to our own fellow creatures suffering?

Do we think our ET chums will rock up with a food basket and a nice bottle of ’89 Chardonnay? Or are they more likely to lob some nanite enriched astroidal planet killer our way with cellular destructive technology perfectly attuned to the human genome we so very kindly GAVE THEM extensive mapping of to help liberate all the other animals enslaved, used, and abused under our destructive reign, possibly even signed off by a galactic interpretation of our very own United Nations, for the greater good?

I leave the conclusions to you, dear reader.

Posted: June 16th, 2011
Categories: critical thought, hypotheticals, op ed, pop culture, rant, sci-fi, science, survival horror, technology
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Dissident ‘Shadow’ Internet and Cell Phone Networks

THE US Government is reportedly financing the development of “shadow” internet systems to enable dissidents abroad to get around government censors.

The New York Times said today the covert effort also includes attempts to create independent cellphone networks inside foreign countries.

The operation involves a fifth-floor shop on L Street in Washington, where a group of young entrepreneurs are fitting deceptively innocent-looking hardware into a prototype “internet in a suitcase”, the report said.

Financed with a $US2 million ($1.9 million) State Department grant, the suitcase could be secreted across a border and quickly set up to allow wireless communications over a wide area with a link to the global internet.

The Times said some projects involve technology being developed in the US while others pull together tools that have already been created by hackers from the so-called liberation technology movement.

The State Department is financing the creation of stealth wireless networks that would enable activists to communicate outside the reach of governments in countries like Iran, Syria and Libya.

The US Government has also spent at least $US50 million ($47.2 million) to create an independent mobile phone network in Afghanistan using towers on protected military bases inside the country, according to the newspaper.

It is intended to offset the Taliban’s ability to shut down the official Afghan services, the report said.

Posted: June 14th, 2011
Categories: gadget, hack, journalism, oddities, politix, pop culture, technology
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Australian Blimp Pilot’s Courageous Yet Tragic Sacrifice

As a pilot, I’ve flown everything that flies and some things that shouldn’t. I was touched to hear of the forage and selflessness of an Australian who died saving his passengers and feel the need to share the following article with you, my loyal readers, as a small gesture to an honorable man.

Michael Nerandzic, from Balgownie in Wollongong, was attempting to land the A60 Goodyear airship at an airfield at Reichelsheim in Germany, when the blimp caught fire during descent. The 53-year-old and three journalists with him were returning from a local music festival.

It is understood the passengers smelt fuel and heard a loud whirring noise before the blimp caught fire.

Realising the airship was only moments away from disaster, Mr Nerandzic then made the heroic decision to put his own life on the line to save those of his passengers.

Hovering 2m above the ground he yelled for the three passengers to jump from the gondola to safety below.

That decision reduced the ballast weight of the airship which is believed to have caused it to shoot 50m into the air where it exploded with the burning wreckage falling to the ground. Mr Nerandzic was unable to escape and died in the wreckage.

Witnesses said they heard loud noises coming from the air before spotting a “fireball” moments before it crashed into a meadow near the airfield.

“We could hear the cries of the pilot as the fire surrounded him. It was terrible,” one said.

A close friend and former colleague said Mr Nerandzic was a talented pilot with a deep passion for flying.

He said his decision to save his passengers first summed up the type of person he was.

“He has always put other people first. I don’t even think he would have realised he was doing it – it would have just been instinct,” the friend, who declined to be named, said last night. “He will be a real loss to our community.”

The cause of the fire remained a mystery last night but Germany’s Federal Office for Accident Investigation was investigating.

For more on the heroic Australian blimp pilot who saved three passengers only to then die himself go to The Daily Telegraph.

Posted: June 14th, 2011
Categories: journalism, news
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The @DalaiLama Is a Vacuous Moron, Read Why

I’ve been toying with calling him out for a while. I see him as a figurehead for the intellectually and spiritually lost. He is vacuous, naive, and idiotic. His education is meagre, and his world view reflects this.

I’ve been reading the Dalai Lama’s drivel for quite some time on Twitter, and he is currently in my fair nation of Australia at the moment running around skirt lifting and being a twat for very large fees to trendy wanky folks who’re into contemplating division by zero. I’ve never really found him compelling in any way.

His Twitter feed reads like a Multi-Level Marketing scammers empty headed random quotes.txt. In interviews he takes the generic asian mystic role of spouting utter shit as answers trying to pass himself off as deep or intellectual when in reality koan style responses are just batshit zealot cop outs. But what I want to address is, is he dangerous?

“Rather than working only to acquire wealth, we need to focus on the welfare of humanity as a whole.”

That’s a dangerous idea. Why? Because it deflects the problem, the starving suffering masses NEED to acquire wealth, and not touch each other in the pants and sing kumbyah.

Here’s a little snippet from a TED talk that I hope the Dalai Lama can check out to try and get a LITTLE bit of understanding before spouting crap. Sure, he thinks he’s Yoda, that’s his pitch, it’s how he pulls the bitches, but really; he needs to get a grip, his guru babble puts poisonous ideas into already unintelligent peoples minds who seek out a little asian Yoda in the first place to fill a void in their souls (or minds, given that souls do not exist). But I digress.

So, here we see a perfect example of why altruism won’t solve a situation that a clear lack of finances and especially food will.

“Friends, genuine friends, have much more to do with whether we have a warm heart, not money or power.”

Another example of hippy communist bullshit. People need money. Money is inadvertantly power, the power to control your future, the power to control your life, and the power to be able to obtain resources needed to survive. Circle jerks won’t feed you (aside from protein, if a sao is involved) and good feelings won’t put a roof over your head. This is again nonsense from a man who lives in extreme comfort, toting a rolex, and not in the piss poor nation he is from or represents. That brings me to this little gem.

“We should value our enemies because they provide us with unique opportunities to practice patience, tolerance and forbearance.”

This is from a man who was run out of his own country. He’s definitely not scared of mincing words, oh wait, actually he is, as this excerpt from The Australian from August 22, 2008 outlines: –

PARIS: The Dalai Lama has denied telling a French newspaper that Chinese soldiers may have shot dead 140 Tibetan protesters on Monday. The exiled spiritual leader was quoted in Le Monde as saying troops fired on protesters on Monday and 400 people have been killed since unrest erupted in March.

But his office said he denied a comment attributed to him by Le Monde that 140 people had died on Monday when the Chinese security forces opened fire. His office said there were casualties.

“The Chinese army again fired on a crowd on Monday August 18, in the Kham region in eastern Tibet,” said the Nobel Peace prize winner who is on a 12-day visit to France.

Le Monde quoted him as saying that up to 140 people had been killed, though the figure was not confirmed.

“His Holiness did not mention any number of casualties,” his office said in a statement after the interview was published, adding that “he clearly stated that we had no specific information on the number of casualties.”

Another gem:

“To arrive at certainty, you need to start from a skeptical posture. The best scientists are impartial, not swayed by their own beliefs.”

I particularly find it hillarious when religious nuts comment about science, scientists or skepticism. If he followed his own advice, he’d stop wearing dresses, buy himself a nice suit, and entirely give up his religious faggotry. And I don’t meant faggotry of the fun kind. Another example:

“The aim of spiritual practice is to become the friend of all beings, concerned about them and ready and able to help them.”

In closing, I have found a fantastic replacement for the Dalai Lama, and I propose should he or his representatives read this (you’d be surprised how many people I @reply in my titles of blog posts read the posts in question, I do have an 8 millionpw reader demographic after all), this person has the same character, intelligence, education, and charisma as the Dalai Lama and I propose she should step into his role forthwith.

How can anyone NOT prefer her, at least she can answer fucking questions put to her. Feel free to check out her other videos, she will definitely culturally enrich the readers of his Twitter feed far more than he is currently doing. Enjoy.

Addendum: For the record, I am not Chinese, I am not being paid by the Chinese government, I am not racist, I hate all races equally, I’m not sectarian, I’m a hypocritical Roman Catholic Jewish Atheist Ninja (it’s a religion!) with Jedi leanings who believes in the Ancient Astronaut theory and evolution (and other wonderous scientific mumbo jumbo!), I am also not in any way being paid, bribed, or given free shit to post this blog post, I just sincerely hate fucking moochers who run around touting hypocritical party pieces who live in comfort and tell everyone also living in comfort that circle jerks will cure all the woes in the world rather than addressing the food shortage or even the fact that PIG’s in the UNITED STATES alone consume SIX TIMES the food supply that it would take to FEED THE ENTIRE WORLD each year. Fuck. Seriously. He’s a fucking putz, what more can I say.

</rant> 🙂

Posted: June 12th, 2011
Categories: critical thought, epiclullz, op ed, politix, pop culture, rant, vox pop
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It’s the Bubbles of Nothing that Make the Universe Something

The NASA Voyager twin spacecraft, which launched in 1977, are currently exploring the furthest outlays of the heliosphere, where solar wind is slowed and warped by pressure from other forces in the galaxy, the US space agency said.

“Because the Sun spins, its magnetic field becomes twisted and wrinkled, a bit like a ballerina’s skirt,” astronomer Merav Opher of Boston University said.

“Far, far away from the sun, where the Voyagers are, the folds of the skirt bunch up.”

The Voyagers are almost 16 billion kilometres from Earth in a little known boundary region where solar wind and magnetic field are influenced by “material expelled from other stars in our corner of the Milky Way galaxy”.

This “turbulent sea of magnetic bubbles” occurs when parts of the Sun’s distant magnetic field break up and reorganise under pressure.

The bubbles are giant – about 160 million kilometres – meaning the Voyager probes could take multiple weeks to cross a single one of them.

Scientists have previously theorised that the Sun’s distant magnetic field curved in “relatively graceful arc, eventually folding back to rejoin the Sun”, NASA said.

But images of a smooth outer heliosheath have now been discarded as scientists begin to realise that the region is actually bubbly and “frothy”.

“The actual bubbles appear to be self-contained and substantially disconnected from the broader solar magnetic field,” they said.

The findings were made using a new computer model to analyse data from the Voyager craft and are published in the June 9 edition of the Astrophysical Journal.

“The magnetic bubbles appear to be our first line of defence against cosmic rays,” Prof Opher said.

“We haven’t figured out yet if this is a good thing or not.”
Read more: http://www.news.com.au/technology/sci-tech/magnetic-bubbles-160-million-km-wide-may-be-earths-first-defence-against-cosmic-rays/story-fn5fsgyc-1226072932809#ixzz1OyX4fQIV

Posted: June 11th, 2011
Categories: critical thought, science
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IMPORTANT: Live Export Animal Ban, How To Fight Religious Zealotry (Read it, forealz)

It’s rare I post about political, religious, or other matters considered taboo. I like to keep things light and fluffy. But this is an issue that I’ve had first hand experience with back in the late 90′s when WSPA and PETA slipped a guy with a covert camera rig into a kosher slaughter house in Melbourne which ended up getting shut down when the footage was shown to the public.

Recently another instance of this has occured, where the ABC showed footage taken covertly in helal slaughter houses across Indonesia. Over 200,000 Australians have responded in a backlash against these disgusting acts.

You get a lot of propaganda by religious mobs on this issue as they see it as encroaching on their freedoms as opposed to pointing out that in the last six thousand years human understanding of animals biology has grown significantly, as has .. well, everything but religion, and that it is a social imperative that we enforce social normatives on those who would ever inflict barbaric acts on humans or animals alike.

You’ve got two lobbies who are obssessed that animals are chattals of man put there for exploitation and that they have no feelings nor souls and do not count as living entities, it’s hard to argue logic with them, but it’s easier to argue logic with politicians. Scary thought, isn’t it.

Thus, I ask every one of you to go here and sign this petition: http://www.getup.org.au/campaigns/animals/live-export/ban-live-export

If you want to go the extra mile email Nick Xenophon urging your support of his push to outlaw kosher and helal slaughter not just outside of Australia facilitated by live export, but within Australia too.

There are far too many slaughter houses using barbaric practices, and even more so they’re using outdated research and propaganda including bullshit fear mongering regarding BSE / mad cow disease to try and outlaw captive bolt guns which are currently not allowed to pierce the animals brain (causing instant death) but rather just knock the animal unconcious after a few agonizing attempts.

This lobby MUST be stopped, we can’t turn a blind eye to cruelty. I don’t give a fuck what a persons magical sky fairy demands, cruelty to animals is not on, and is NOT something that any Australian or in fact any one from ANY nation should ever tolerate on their watch.

Posted: June 8th, 2011
Categories: consumer reviews, critical thought, journalism, politix, pop culture, rant
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