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News for September 2010

Weekly Tweets for 2010-09-26

  • Apple iPhone 4 bumpers are the highest quality phone add on I've ever seen. Even if the death grip bug is impossible to accidentally do! 😛 #
  • Shaved for the first time since catching a horrible flu going around. I looked like Joaquin Pheonix. D: #
Posted: September 26th, 2010
Categories: twitter
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Weekly Tweets for 2010-09-19

  • I <3 @Telstra's fishing bundle team, they make tech support look inept, absolute quality service. #
  • The cake isn't a lie. http://yfrog.com/9g6lbwj #
  • Good morning world. 🙂 #
  • It appears @blizzard no longer enforce any code of conduct in WoW. So much spam and unhindered rubbish on Moon Guard tonight. #
  • I forgot how woeful colds and flu's can make you feel. Punch anyone at work/school with one for me, disease spreading dickbutts. 🙁 #
  • McDonalds in Australia have brought back the '3 minute promise' (up from 1 in the 80's) but fail to meet it constantly, what's the point? #
  • True Blood, Buffy for twilight twats. Absolutely the worst show on TV these days, the banality is agonizing. -4/10. #
  • Scare Tactics #311 was a stunner, a lot of people have titanium balls under pressure; great to see. Check it out. #
  • It's hard to get A/H tech support with billing being the only real support department that can FIX your @Bigpond woes. Outsource #fail #
  • Pedobear stencil at Hunter Ln. Hornsby, in front of a childcare centre: http://yfrog.com/5dzeksj #
  • Boring night of fail ahead. 🙁 #
  • I've favourited a YouTube video — Jace Hall – I Play W.O.W Music Video http://youtu.be/ltM5jHIJFw4?a #
Posted: September 19th, 2010
Categories: twitter
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World of Warcraft – Sublime Trolling Method

I decided to establish something in WoW. I believe that greed overpowers logic and reason. So, I decided to run into various capital cities, open a random trade window with anyone nearby, drop 10,000 gold in it, then set a timer and watch some television in the meantime.

The amount of people who will spend in excess of half an hour with their entire life on hold on the off chance you will click TRADE and not CANCEL is 100%. Logic and reason dictates that no one will approach you and offer you 10,000 gold for absolutely no reason, especially someone you don’t even know.

But greed, greed is an entirely different contaminant. It defies all logic and reason and drives people to silly actions and conclusions, and in this case ones that are detrimental to the player themselves who has just wasted half an hour of their life.

Try it yourself and see.

Posted: September 18th, 2010
Categories: general
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Halo: Reach (Around) Review, from a REAL Critic

I’m not a Halo fan, but I’ve familiarised myself with the previous games. When Halo was released back in 2000 I was too busy FPSing away with real games on PC’s and to be honest, the game console market was too pie in the sky back then for me to waste a dime on a console. So keep this in mind, and you’ll understand my viewpoint on some key issues of the game.

Reach fell short of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2′s $331M first day grossing, but it’s $213 million secured it as the highest grossing ‘entertainment launch’, beating out all other games, movies, and .. well, all entertainment. Except strippers.

The ONLY selling factor of this game in my opinion is the fact they have corrected a narratological flaw which has haunted them since day one. The Spartans are alive. You are not the last surviving super hero with matyr complex, and you can play as ‘one of’ the players in a game, which is exactly how I like my games. ‘Everyone’s the hero’ is such an outdated methodology of gameplay.

Every release of a Halo game had me asking if there was only one super hero or whether there’s armies in mech supported battle armor yet, every release was a disappointment. And Master Chief? What kind of a stupid name is that, I dig they were trying to be all ‘lol future army kthx’ but seriously, retarded.

In campaign mode, the first thing you will notice is that your fellow super soldiers are actually nerfed NPC’s. So nerfed in fact, if you take a dive behind an obstacle and set your controller down, go make yourself a coffee, watch a TV show, and come back, everyone is still standing and still exchanging fire in the ‘heat of battle’ kind of way it’s trying to depict itself as.

A spartan cannot kill a grunt. Wtf kind of nuboids wrote this game? Spartan mythology, or at least my take of it, was that they were super soldiers who could single handedly cleave a battlefield in two against insurmountable odds. Guess not. Although you don’t really care what happens to your team mates as there’s no emotive bonding, no cross-chatter between them that makes them ‘people’. It’s not a story about the epic last stand of the Spartans on a lone planet under full scale Covenant invasion, the last defence before earth and the fall of humanity. It just assumes you’ll ‘guess’ the story and ‘pick up the ambience’, without actually providing any.

Expect glitches, such as enemies in vehicles doing weird stuff or getting stuck, characters vanishing when killed and projectiles mysteriously piercing your shields and killing you. The flow of the game is no better, your radar only occasionally gives you waypoints, making you ‘guess’ the game play like Mass Effect. You also get obnoxious checkpoints slightly not where they’re meant to be, weapon racks after firefights, which on loading up leads you to a cut scene where you’re set back to default weapons anyway, and stuff is taken away from you inconsistently at absolute random points in the game, with the hump being perfectly and predictably mid-game where enemies can suddenly take on ten times the damage they previously took to die.

There ARE some pretty nice cut scenes, there’s nothing original or awe inspiring but if you’re a Halo fan boy, you’re already rolling your eyes at me and living in your denial that this is TTLY AWSUM. You’re wrong. It’s okay. If you’ve played the Halo: Reach Beta you’ll likely already be familiar with a lot of the new armour abilities, including jetpacks, sprinting (long overdue, a true sign of the banality and ineptitude of the game developers), and invulnerability but how they fit into the main campaign is another thing. Space combat is kind of cool, zero G adds a bit of a fun element.

Firefight 2.0 can be summed up as derivative of the fail PVP of Left 4 Dead 2, I won’t even go into more details about that, plenty of other people have given extremely positive and biased reviews of it, but to a hardened game critic you’ll just roll your eyes.

The multiplayer is ok. Halo has always had a vapid fanbase of multiplayers happy to spray’n’pray, die, respawn their way through player v player engagements, and so it continues. It does have a bit more of a Battlefield 2: Bad Company 2 feel to it in game dynamics though. Persistent armor is cute.

My ultimate caveat emptor is this.

If you’re not an XBL Gold member, or you’re a cynic, critic, or veteran gamer who just wants to experience the content, have a bit of a dick about, and score up some achievements (as with all games these days achievements are split so only XBL Gold members can unlock the goodies), then you will NOT be able to justify the high price tag Bungie placed on this.

If you’re up for further Bungie banality of grinding through endless dateless nights with your equally dateless friends in endless games of Firefight or Invasion, or simply a bleary eyed fanboy (or girl) of the left-dangling-in-the-air doubting your sanity due to the inconsistent narrative (nearly bordering on a JRPG) kind of aspect, then you lack the sense or mental faculty to understand what justifying a purchase means, and in fact you probably haven’t even read this far, so enjoy and gg.

6/10.

Posted: September 17th, 2010
Categories: consumer reviews, game reviews, games, xbox
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Chk chk boom girl, Clare Webeloff, gets TV Deal

A few days ago I was commenting about how shocked I am that they’ll give any idiot a TV show these days, with a spate of disgraced oft drug fucked footballers getting their own lame TV shows about, well, equally lame stuff. Today it’s come to light that Clare Webeloff, the source of the chk chk boom meme on YouTube, has jumped on board.

This week, Channel Nine blows the dust off The Real Hustle, a British format it localised and shot last year, soon after Werbeloff duped the network (and a slew of Australians) into believing her tale about “fat and skinny wogs” shooting at each other in Kings Cross. It must be said that the local version relies heavily on clips from the aforementioned British series, as well as from the subsequent American format, which was shot in and around New York.

Werbeloff’s move into serialised television is fitting, The Real Hustle is an exploration of cons and scams shot with hidden cameras. And, although many will wail at her 15 minutes of fame being extended, Werbeloff proves surprisingly honest in her appreciation of the offer. She was previously asked to run for office which could have possibly relied on the fact she’s such a good bullshit artist.

“I am very lucky to be given this opportunity. Yes, TV is something I’d always wanted to get into but, as everyone knows, it’s very hard to get your foot in the door,” she told Insider. Werbeloff is also adamant the various scams she is shown performing in the show – hosted by Gyton Grantley – were new to her. “I knew none of these; they were definitely scams I had to learn for the show. Shooting this was the most fun I’ve ever had in my whole entire life,” she says. “I worked with people (namely “honest conman” Nicholas J Johnson and magician Adam Mada) who were hilarious, and we all had a great time.”

The 20 year-old has spent the 12 months since The Real Hustle was filmed travelling through Bali and New Zealand, and will soon embark on a presenting course with NIDA. “I want to be on Getaway – who doesn’t, right? But we’ll see what happens with The Real Hustle. Hopefully it does well, as it’s up to its ninth series in the US and the UK,” she says.

The Real Hustle makes its debut on Tuesday at 9pm on Nine.

Posted: September 12th, 2010
Categories: celebrity, celebrity gossip, television
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Weekly Tweets for 2010-09-12

  • Still no PM elected in AU. 2pp and seats have libs in the lead but ALP are still claiming 'victory', such a shambles/disgrace. Why vote? #
  • I fought the DMCA and I won! YouTube apologized and reinstated the Pakistani ninja barrel roll video this morning. 😀 #
  • Labor are in the lead of seats, let's see if Julia stands by her 'only 2pp matters' and Australia stays democratic with libs in 2pp lead. #
  • The Colony season 2 is up to episode 6, if you haven't seen it, catch S1&2 on YouTube, 2>1 IMHO. #
  • John Lenon's killer was denied parole, again, this morning. #
  • I laughed. http://twitpic.com/2mbn5i #
  • http://twitpic.com/2mbn5i – Okay, I smiled. But it's a start. #
  • 24gb on WoW and Warhammer Online clients d/l'd, time to critique them against each other. WH40K online looks spectacular per E3! #
  • Any Warhammer 40K fans out there? @me your emails for a once in a lifetime opportunity of epic win. (Don't DM, I don't read them!) #
  • Thanks to the Suicide Girl who bought me 3 months access to SG. Randomness! 😛 #
  • This weather can't make up it's mind. #
  • Screw burn a Koran day, let's make it multifaith, and maybe throw a few dictionaries on the fire. Oh, and definitely some Ayn Rand! #
  • The hostess of Clean House's voice gives me seizures. She's one of those WMD's Saddam never had. #
  • Hillary Duff used to be cute before her crack addiction with her washed up musician ex. Watching Raise Your Voice, don't ask why. #
  • Oh wow, Twitter has forcibly removed the top trending topic #KoranBurn Oh well, there's plenty of Twilight books to burn? #
  • Monster Hammer X-presso, coffee in a can Japan vending machine style, now officially my favorite drink EVER: http://yfrog.com/0qn4pgj #
  • I remember carrying a pager pre-cell phone days as a teen, man I was super high tech. Damn I'm old. 🙁 #
  • Where did the weekend go? Better yet, where are my pants? #
  • Cancelled my Star Trek Online subscription; such a nonevent of a game, so unfinished it feels alpha, and I'm biased as a trekkie. #
  • Take the IPAF 'Accidental Pirate' test and see if you're awesome, http://accidentalpirate.com.au – antipiracy hilarity ensues. #
Posted: September 12th, 2010
Categories: twitter
Tags: ,
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Labor Wins, Democracy Loses

When the ALP was behind by two senate seats, Julia Gillard was already claiming ‘an historic day’ and ‘an historic win’ because ‘what really matters is legitimacy of Government and that can only be obtained in a truly democratic manner through the 2 party preferred ballot’, at which point she was 100,000 votes in the lead. After a bit of a mix up and correction by the AEC suddenly she was behind 6,000 votes and the ALP never made up the difference.

As I write this, the ALP have one more senate seat than the Liberals, however they are claiming victory and motioning to form Government. That means not only did the coup leaders oust the democratically elected leader of our nation, but they are now doing a George Dubya, and pulling a swifty while the media blow smoke up their arse and pulling a “We’re the Government, kthxbai.”

As I write this, the ALP are 981 votes behind the Liberals / Coalition. As many of you know, I voted Liberal this time around simply because, regardless of how much I disagree with their policies, or leadership, I disagree even more with coup’s being run in democratic (or allegedly democratic as the case may be) societies. I disagree with midnight visits with the defence minister in tow by a deputy prime minister who’s entire career has shown nothing but zealous power hunger and lust for control. I disagree with anything involving the defence minister being needed as ‘backup’ asking a democratically elected leader (by a landslide, I may add, which just goes to show it’s gone from a landslide Labor victory to the closest vote in the history of our country that even Labor voters have no faith in the coup leaders) to step down.

As I write this, democracy in Australia has died. An illegitimate government born of skulduggery and a midnight coup is gnashing it’s teeth at four years running a country they’ve done nothing to aid and done everything in the past several months to hinder the economic development of. And worst of all, the votes of fellow Australians were irrelevant as the Labor party never intended to hold to the AEC’s ballot even when they were many seats behind.

Australia has a government. Australia has no democracy.

Ps: The significance of this to those who haven’t studied constitutional law or don’t really ‘get’ politics is the fact that the way this panned out means it doesn’t matter who votes for who, provided the winning faction has more seats backing them. Ie: Some seats can have as few as several thousand people, whereas others can have hundreds of thousands. It means that the democratic vote of the people does not make Government, but politicians make Government.

This is the same reason so many Australians are hesitant at becoming a republic, as all the models put forward involve politicians deciding who has ultimate power, and let’s face it; who trusts politicians? The three idiot Independents sold us out to a minority government (meaning they didn’t win more votes or more seats than the opposing party) which is never good.

I have a feeling a double dissolution will occur within the next year at most then it’s back to the old jolly caucus race; backward forward inward outward bottom to the top, never a begining there will never be a stop.

Posted: September 7th, 2010
Categories: critical thought
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Duke Nukem Forever, ‘Real and Playable’

DUKE Nukem Forever is alive.

No, really.

That’s the big story from this year’s Penny Arcade Expo – PAX – the festival for gamers held this year in Washington.

A project in development since 1997, the long-awaited and much ridiculed attempt to bring the controversial hero from 1996′s Duke Nukem 3D to a new generation has been the subject of 13 years of industry jokes.

Most are bad, honing in on the title’s acronym “DNF”, which in motor-racing terms means “Did Not Finish”.

But DNF has also become synonymous with “vaporware awards” – awards handed out annually by the video games industry for the most eagerly awaited titles which never materialise.

“The great vaporware saga of Duke Nukem looks to be coming to a close,” IGN reported.

Start of sidebar. Skip to end of sidebar.

End of sidebar. Return to start of sidebar.

“Let me repeat that for the non-believers: Duke Nukem Forever is real and it is an actual playable game.”

The original 3D PC game became a huge success due to the appeal of its lead character, described by his creators as a “combo of John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, and Arnold Schwarzenegger”, and the fact that its visuals were on a par with those of the genre groundbreaker Doom.

It also contained a high level of sex and violence, which helped it generate plenty of controversy at the time.

Now, 13 years later, the Duke’s still got it.

“It looks like the aliens Duke punished in his earlier games are back – and they are here for our women,” IGN reports.

“This personal affront to Duke leads him on a mission to kill everything in his way, including a giant alien queen with three breasts.

“And in typical Duke fashion, after seeing the entirety of this tri-boobed monster, the hero quips, ‘Hell, I’d still hit it.’”

IGN’s Levi Buchanan was given a full 15 minutes of game time at PAX on Duke Nukem Forever.

One of the highlights, he noted, was the ability to kick a giant Cycloid’s eyeball through a set of goalposts after killing it.

http://network.news.com.au/images/i_related.gif Read about Buchanan’s 15 minutes with Duke Nukem Forever

He was also shown yet another trailer for the game in which, a woman remarks to Duke that his new adventure looks great.

“Yeah, but after 12 f**king years, it should be,” the Duke responds.

The only concern, Buchanan notes, is the lack of a firm release date.

“Sometime in 2011″ was the line given to those allowed to experience Duke Nukem Forever at PAX.

But as Buchanan says: “That’s not was this re-unveiling was about.”

“This was about blowing minds, because show-goers were genuinely surprised to see that Duke Nukem Forever was not just at PAX, but was also something they could get their very own hands on for the first time.”

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/technology/pax-reviewers-claim-duke-nukem-forever-is-real-and-playable/story-e6frfro0-1225914610608#ixzz0ylNIcWnk

Posted: September 7th, 2010
Categories: general
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Weekly Tweets for 2010-09-05

  • Oh wow, bit of rain and the F1 grand prix just got crazy. Hamilton stacked it already. #
  • Wow, race 13 of the F1 Grand Prix has turned into a demo derby, brb popcorn. 😀 #
  • Recording World Rally Champs live on One HD for even more CARnage. (Cwhutididthar?) #
  • Hamilton / Team Vodafone took first, next race 2 wks in Monza, Italia! #
  • I've favourited a YouTube video — BED INTRUDER SONG!!! (now on iTunes) http://youtu.be/hMtZfW2z9dw?a #
  • If you've never introduced your pet to what we humans call a wet willy, do it. It's HILLARIOUS. My cat flipped. 😀 #
  • Instead of a 20c vaccination, the Chinese government are clubbing hundreds of thousands of dogs to death; western media turns a blind eye. #
  • I uploaded a YouTube video — There's nothing funny about Cylon Toast! http://youtu.be/ecJYN-FwUTA?a #
  • Just saw Alain Robert on @sunriseon7, god that made AU look like a bunch of nanny state wankers. That bloke is awesome! #
  • I keep getting phantom smells of cooking, herbs and spices. I wonder if something is on fire … #
  • lexwinter.com // : So, it begins. http://lexwinter.com/2010/08/so-it-begins/ #
  • The API program I wrote for uSocial (@areusocial) is Twitter approved and up and running: http://yfrog.com/3qep0j #
  • 27 years and they've canned The Bill, WTF? You just can't do that BBC; sure I never watch it but .. 🙁 #
  • Goodnight folks. Btw, short props, hiring at http://lexwinter.com, legit work not BS scams you see on online. 4 x positions, more to come! #
  • Jersey Boys (Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons tribute) coming to Australia. Might be worth checking out for my older demographic! 😉 #
  • 17/25 political parties last election got less votes than I have Twitter followers; I'm going to write an open letter addressing it. 😛 #
  • Any CAD design folks looking for a project credit? Simple requirement, full references provided for your portfolio. @me if interested. #
  • Twiends, handy f4f type site, http://twiends.com?i=bashprompt #
Posted: September 5th, 2010
Categories: twitter
Tags: ,
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