Many of you may have missed my review of Final Fantasy XIXIVUXCHGGG in all it’s absolutel crapness, one thing I noted was that it felt like it was trying to be an MMO, a single player MMO, with all the elements of World of Warcraft, except if such a project was executed by a mildly retarded chimp on mesculine. Well, sure enough, Final Fantasy XIV was announced as ‘Final Fantasy Online’. It’ll probably be subscription only and take 80,000 hours game play before letting you meet another human being, but they’re sticking with their fantasy roots instead of physics defying stupidly thought out and animated future-tech spin on the franchise.
Square Enix fans (aka: franchise bitches) will buy this and love it, but because most Square Enix fans are 40 year old virgins they’ve never played WoW and won’t appreciate just how comical Final Fantasy Online is compared to it. You have the Horde, you have giant steampunk creations, you have a pretty bad knock off of Stormwind, complete with harbour and lame boats, there’s implied naval combat in FFO but this is probably only a cut scene because we all know that aside from cut scenes all you have to do it mosh the green button to play the game. From lame racial dance moves through to gnome asshats, from Stitches rendered green to their very own take of the Dark Portal, you’ve got plainstriders, and even a dodgy attempt at the Horde, oh wait, I already said that.
Click here to see the latest trailer of Final Fantasy XIV Online and remember to keep an eye out at 1:57 for the elven Harry Potter. Either way, my guess is this will suck as much as every other FF game I’ve played, but they seem to have developed the perfect method of making their games suck more as the franchise matures.
The global market leader in browser-based massively multiplayer online games (MMOG), Bigpoint, demonstrated the first technical demo of Battlestar Galactica Online at E3 Expo in Los Angeles. A tactical space combat and adventure MMOG based upon Syfy’s Battlestar Galactica series, Battlestar Galactica Online (http://www.bgo.bigpoint.com) will be shown by appointment only in the West Hall, booth 4336.
The demo will highlight the Unity engine technology that will drive Battlestar Galactica Online game experience and demonstrate how the game’s browser-based platform will reach the huge global audience already playing browser-based MMOGs on Bigpoint.com and through Bigpoint’s many popular distribution partners. The game, however, will be remarkably shit and is set to disappoint BSG fans, as they have come to expect since the original leak in 2007 of an MMORPG that went vaporware, then MMORPG, then vaporware, then MMOG (MMOG is also secret code for “Sucks cock harder than a $2 hooker.”)
The debut trailer for Battlestar Galactica Online is now available on the official E3 Expo virtual press room and the BGO Youtube channel (www.youtube.com/bgo).
Go here to add yourself to the waiting list for the announcement of release of this destined soon-to-be flop: http://battlestar-galactica.bigpoint.com/
Just watching the live broadcast of the E3, telecast globally, and even comandeering the time square big TV. This will be a rambling review as it’s 4AM in Australia and I’m writing this as it happens. Some win announcements are Call of Duty: Black Ops with Xbox and Activision signing a contract that everything CoD will be Xbox first. The biggest downside is how ‘on rails’ it feels, all movement lacks kinetics of realism requisite for immersion. 10 years of Xbox, they definitely have some exciting things in store.
The new CoD will be out 11.09.10. Project Natal launched, being renamed Kinect (a play on kinetics and connect) with a world premier of new experiences promised. Kinect is a diminuitive set top addition that reads signatures of the attachments on the player.
This makes Nintendo seem as anachronistic as it’s lame mario franchises, which it always was as only tards bought them because they lacked any decent games and yes whilst it had some kinetic interaction the Nintendo Power Glove (for those old enough to remember if from the early 90′s) did exactly what Wii did and it flopped massively. Kinect seems to corner a multi-purpose application.
The stupidly named Metal Gear Solid Lightning Bolt Action Rising was launched by Konami with Kojima Productions where yaoi-to-be stars with oversized hair using their epic ninja skills can cut giant cyborgs ten times their size in half. I already want to scream at the head of anyone who’d buy something so stupid and lame.
Phil Spencer of Microsoft Game Studio lauded the industry defining multiplayer and graphics prowess of their Xbox platform before unveiling Gears of War 3, the gameplay looks fun but it’s definitely nothing that would be a blockbuster, except amongst teenage boys perhaps. One dynamic I liked was the fact you can use cover, like in Mass Effect 1 and 2, unsure whether this was in previous versions, as I said before, not my cup of tea due to it being too unrealistic / scifi fantasy.
Peter Molyneux, the creative director of MS Games Studios Europe announced another Xbox 360 exclusive, Fable 3, set 50 years after Fable 2. Loaded with choice and consequence, with action packed game play in a more immersive realm. Set to release 26.10.10, set in Albion you get to play a super awesome character that goes from revolutionary to emperor of win as per .. well, the other two. It’s very on-rails, but the graphics are very pretty albeit stereotypical of a fantasy game.
Microsoft’s newest partner Crytek revealed a very awe inspiring trailer for the dickily named Codename Kingdoms, look it up on YouTube, looks seriously cool from the trailer alone but don’t hold me to any promise of quality there.
After 34,000,000 games sold and 2b online hours Halo Reach was announced by Bungie, on the heels of the Halo Reach beta, citing it as the most ambitious game they’ve ever created. The unveiled world premier was of gameplay as opposed to cinematography, which makes the September shipping game look very impressive to the point where I’d say I may even jump in on the Halo franchise finally. That being said if they advertised it’s storyline better as zombies in space I would have been all over that shit. The music, ambience, cinematics, and dynamics of movement make it seem like it may very well be a blockbuster.
Kinect was explained as having an impact on more than just gaming, waving at Kinect will let it recognise who you are and sign you in simply by waving at it. Waving at it again will bring up a controller free menu, where you can interact using just hand gestures. There are no apparent things attached to the player, like we seemed to think, it just views the player optically. That does however mean that lighting will be an issue. It also enables voice commands, in a very in depth manner by addressing the device and following it with a verbal command. It really does look like Microsoft are trying to launch a tech-savvy household entertainment centre as part of the functionality of Kinect. To my chagrin they played Bustin’ Jeiber as a demonstration of how effortless it is to listen to music verbally.
An unexpected announcement was that on Windows Phone 7 Kinect and your Xbox will sync with it, allowing you to integrate your stuff in a more streamlined fashion. Using VideoKinect you can even watch movies with friends in other states, or even countries, online at the same time. Amusingly they chose Avatar Last Aidbender, with a comment about the ‘game about that’ and ‘boosting’ gamer scores. Lollip0p and Velveteen, two sisters, demo’d this but aside from the obvious potential of the technology were boring as batshit and so rigid in delivery.
My brain shut down when the ESPN logo came up, there was some rabble about some games based on sports, blah boring. Okay, sports aside, the USC graphics quality is AMAZING, it looks like you’re watching a sports match not playing a video game. It’s also interesting watching them interact with it through Kinect.
Kudo Tsunoda, the creative director for Kinect (Gamertag: Kudo) addressed his promise that Kinect would revolutionise the way you have fun, lauding the ‘it just works’ natural interaction system using your body and your voice–something that is usually reserved more for Apple products–Kinect promises to unite people socially, bringing people together in the same room or around the world in a lot of new ways. He went on to point out some six odd Kinect release games.
Kinect is slated for release November 4th globally.
Kinectimals are a fun bunch of interactive pets you can play with with your hands, interacting with the animals like they were in your living room. On screen the pet interacted with the young girl in some novel ways, even when she hid from it it cutely animated pressing up against the screen peering around trying to find where it’s owner went. The young girl also issued verbal commands, telling it which toys to go and get, one amusing animation was a matrix like barrel roll over a jump rope. You can adopt 40 animals with over 30 unique activities.
Kinect Sports had some English bloke taunting a crowd of avatars in a stadium, the first game they played was a track and field match where they ran on the spot and jumped imaginary hurdles. I refuse to put in that much effort to play a game, if I wanted that I’d get a friggen Wii. Other sports include soccer, bowling, running, javlin, long jump, table tennis, boxing, beach volleyball, and more.
Kinect Joy Ride is a controllerless car racing game, the graphics and dynamics look as novice as a Wii game, and having to use an ‘imaginary’ wheel is just ridiculous, all interactions seem to be automatic aside from the wheel. It really looks like a Wii game, except instead of a dicky Nintendo character from the 1980′s you have dicky avatar characters in their stead.
Kinect Adventures is some retarded rollercoaster ride where you have to dodge, jump and generally interact with crap from a static platform, a rollercoaster and a water raft being two examples shown. It does however seamlessly add in a new player when someone stands beside the current player, again though it’s far more motion than a real gamer is going to invest in playing what is fundamentally such a sophmoric game that it’s almost designed for the mildly retarded.
YourShape: Fitness Evolved, exlusive for Kinect from Ubisoft, will sink Wii Fit, doing everything Wii fit does and then some, with full body monitoring of your exercising to the point of even being able to tell if you’re doing aerobics in time, or dipping a knee to 90 degrees in certain exercises. The advert for it is outstanding and very creative, and the demonstration of the game environment portrays you and your entire body shape and interactions. It also gives you a glimpse as to how you look to the Kinect module, a yellow and orange blob with vague definitions of your more intricate features. If can measure your appendages, estimate your height, and calibrate in a manner that it entire absorbs you and tailors fitness routines to your exact shape.
Dance Central, from Harmonix, comparable to DDR on crack with liberal dashings of MTV. The quality of interaction with the game is pretty smashing, and it’s a very revitalising take on DDR without having a lame mat, or worse, a Nintendo product in your house.
Star Wars OMFG Lucasarts and Microsoft gaming studios team up to release a Kinect only star wars game where you get to weild a light saber and do .. starwarsy things. The graphics are very primative compared to other SW franchise games, but it looks like it has a lot of promise. This game alone will sink the evil Wii, but unfortunately there was little more than a teaser of gameplay and a note that it’s due 2011.
Turn 10 cam on to chat about Forza, talking about a Ferrari (GASP, no Audi?) discussing the way that it’ll allow you to use Kinect, using an imaginary steering wheel, but also allowing you to angle your head to look around the cabin of your vehicle which is a very handy feature. Marrying Forza 3′s amazing graphics with intuitive gameplay interaction is going to allow Turn 10 to provide radical car experiences. Browsing car designs just got better, you can interact with any part of the car and get the details of anything from headlights to carbon ceramic breaks, or walk around the vehicle to examine different parts. I’m praying that Kinect also implements with car design, I’m very well known for releasing some stunningly designed cars in Forza 3 and my main excuse is a friggen huge screen and patience, with this kind of intuitive interaction I should be able to release even more amazing designs. The previewing of cars also illustrated an internal examination where you can look at and interact with any feature of the vehicle.
The Xbox E3 closing speech came with a surprise, a NEW Xbox 360, sleaker, cooler looking, and shipping NOW, expect them to be in the stores by the end of the week. For those who’ve read through this rambling post (and I apologise, but it’s now five am and I’m shattered) I hope you enjoy this news and I look forward to gaming with you all in the future! Also, check out my YouTube channel for a peep at Halo Reach and the closing speech showing off the new Xbox at: http://www.youtube.com/user/bashpr0mpt
In short, the answer is no. But I just watched a cute little review through Xbox Live Australia reviewing Alan Wake, they set up a group of people at the old Quarantine Station, spooking them about how it’s the ‘most haunted site in Australia’ yadda yadda before letting them play Alan Wake.
It was interesting to see how high peoples heart rate got, I think that gaming should count as a cardio work out with those kind of figures. For the record, the Quarantine Station is about as haunted as my outhouse, many years ago I broke into it with some mates which involved some stealthy ninja pissbolting past the guard house everytime the guard was watching TV.
Our adventure into the Q-Station as it’s colloqueally known was uneventful, aside from walking out the door into a patrol car and walking back inside quickly without the guard stopping (unsure whether he saw us, or assumed we were ghosts and shat brix), and stumbling upon a homeless dude sleeping in one of the huts.
It is very atmospheric, but if you’re after spooky sites, it’s far from it, and this was all in pitch black with a thick fog in winter mind you. Maybe we just had higher testicular fortitude than those chosen by XBL AU for their ‘project’.
For more info on their review, go check out ‘the project‘ on XBL, or turn your Xbox on and check out Spotlight if you’re in AU, first cab off the rank.
For quite a while I’ve been trying to think of how to review Final Fantasy XIII without spamming random letters by smashing my keyboard into my face whilst shouting profanities that aren’t even invented yet. I found a video that summarises how I feel. Out of all the games I’ve ever played, this was, by far, the worst gaming experience of my life; it was a corny weaboo video disc with a unidirectional linier pseudo-interactive DVD menu system where you have to repeatedly most the green button to see the next cut scene. It earned my first, and probably my only: 0/10.
I hope this REALLY is the FINAL Final Fantasy ever.
A Microsoft employee may have inadvertently given away the biggest secret in gaming this year.
Project Natal is Microsoft’s attempt to revolutionise motion-control in video games.
An add-on for the XBox 360, it does away with handheld controllers altogether, relying solely on body motion and gestures caught on camera to control the on-screen action.
In a slow year for game fans – at least when it comes to hardware – Natal’s release couldn’t come soon enough.
And thanks to Microsoft marketing manager Syed Bilal Tarig, it may be coming sooner than expected.
In an interview with GamerTag radio, Tariq revealed Natal would get a worldwide release in October – a full two months before the end-of-year date that Microsoft had been peddling.
“I do have great news to share with everybody that Project Natal will be launched in Saudi Arabia at the same time it will be launched in the rest of the world, that is to be sometime in October,” he said.
“Definitely it is going to be October 2010, we will have it in Saudi Arabia for sure.”
He also confirmed that it would be unveiled at the E3 games expo in June, as rumoured.
Project Natal is one of a series of updates to the console that Microsoft claims will enable it to remain relevant for gamers until at least 2015.
It first appeared in public at last year’s E3 expo, where a basic unit showed it was capable of motion-tracking up to four players at once.
A notice sent out by Microsoft earlier this year suggests the exact date for the completed unit’s unveiling will be June 13, a day before the start of E3 2010.
I’ve been linked by a few people to some pics floating about of a Big Brother suit that some prop guy made, but recently came across this little wonder, also made by the same guy and included in the photo shoots of the Big Brother suit with his girlfriend playing the Little Sister weilding this: -
The creator, Harrison Krix, is a ‘graphic designer’ yet seems to be making a tidy profit doing commission work producing props. Including a bloody awesome Daft Punk helmet amongst other things.
Click here to check out the blow by blow of the ADAM bottle and synringe prop.
In February, Electronic Arts laid out its release slate for the coming year. At the end of the list of games scheduled as coming in the October-December quarter was “The Sims 3 on Console Title TBA (consoles, handhelds).” The schedule backed up reports that initially surfaced in 2006 that the Sims series was coming to consoles. It also made perfect business sense, as the Sims 3 has sold over 4.5 million units to date on the PC and Mac, making it the top PC game of 2009. Today, EA officially announced that the Sims 3 will ship for the DS, Wii, Xbox 360, and PlayStation 3 this fall. Published under the EA Play label, the game will sport many of the same customization and character creation options as the PC edition of the game, as well as some new features. These include karma powers, which players can use to give their in-game incarnations instant luck–be it good or bad.
Sims 3 is already cross platform as it is with iPhone / iPod extended expansions allowing your favorite sims to be exported to come with you anywhere for unlimited adventures around the world, so these expansions will make it the most platform open game engine developed.
Whilst many of you may misconstrue my socialist nation as a key indicator of my political leanings I tend to be rather centrist. What’s that you say? I snub my nose at the free market economy and objectivism? Because I pirate stuff? Nay, I too have wasted money whilst sitting on the toilet with my iPhone, which is I might add my current place of publication of this update!
So, app store crap, what’s the dub? I’d love to get a bit of feedback (tweet @bashpr0mpt) about your experience with apps, purchased and free. I’ve bought numerous crappy apps that sound great, but weren’t.
My main gripe with the app store is the amount of IDENTICAL games sold as different games all based off the mafia wars model, rock bands, vampires, zombies, racing, high school, all the same bloody crap rebadged and rehashed. Apple need to rm -rf anything with ‘farm’ or ‘wars’ in it’s title IMHO.
Last Day of Work have given me compartment syndrome from toilet seats with their inane yet quirky and addictive series of games, many of which you can grab at flash games locales online–but hey iPhones and iPods don’t support flash–but also available for a small price (a few bucks) in the app store and horribly addictive. Most centre on a closed economic system with very limited upgrade models but the realms or theatres of the game are persistant.
Persistant realms are nothing new but make IRL timelines interesting, or in the case of idiots like me merely make you roll your phones clock forwards to get that instant fix.
I tried Sim City, addictive but buggy and crashes lots after you get your city big. Also tried Sims 3, it was as absolutely crap as the insanely limited Sims 2 for the PSP which has a low playability, low graphics, sound, gameplay and replayability if you ask me. Those, sadly, cost more for one than ALL the LDOW publications available.
So, your turn. What have you played that’s fun and … well, not crap?
A game retailer revealed that it legally owns the souls of thousands of online shoppers, thanks to a clause in their terms and conditions. FOXNews.com reported the retailer, British firm GameStation, added the “immortal soul clause” to the contract shoppers signed before making any online purchases earlier this month.
It states that customers grant the company the right to claim their soul.
“By placing an order via this Web site on the first day of the fourth month of the year 2010 Anno Domini, you agree to grant Us a non transferable option to claim, for now and for ever more, your immortal soul. Should We wish to exercise this option, you agree to surrender your immortal soul, and any claim you may have on it, within 5 (five) working days of receiving written notification from gamesation.co.uk or one of its duly authorised minions.”
GameStation’s form also points out that “we reserve the right to serve such notice in 6 (six) foot high letters of fire, however we can accept no liability for any loss or damage caused by such an act. If you a) do not believe you have an immortal soul, b) have already given it to another party, or c) do not wish to grant Us such a license, please click the link below to nullify this sub-clause and proceed with your transaction.”
The terms of service were updated on April Fool’s Day as a gag, but the retailer did so to make a very real point.
They said no one reads the online terms and conditions of shopping and companies are free to insert whatever language they want into the documents.
The company noted that it would not be enforcing the ownership rights and planned to email customers nullifying any claim on their soul.
Dozens of online L4D2 players on my Xbox Live list as well as random strangers have been hassling me to point out and draw attention to how poorly made Left4Dead 2 is as far as online play.
Many of you who have it will notice even when you select quickmatch, no matter what time or day, you get 0 results after much delay and it generates a player lobby for you. A lobby which can take up to an hour to fill four slots. If you google this problem you’ll find over 378,000 people asking the same question and a grand total of -ZERO- replies from the manufacturer.
Given that a lot of the gameplay and achievements focus, albeit force, the user on lame repetative grinding of the very uninspired multiplayer challenges beyond co-op play, this is a MAJOR let down and a massive impact on the games playability.
• Attached is a photo of all the screen capped achievements for comparison.
Without functional network play many if not most achievements remain locked. Over the next few days I will be taking this up with Valve to see if I can get an official response. Stay tuned, and zombiephiles, follow me on: -
I’m not spammy and will do my best to keep you and my tens of thousands of zany readers entertained and most of all, up to date on this friggen annoying bug!
Only in Japan would you have such a zombie-like consumeristic drive where people will pay $56 to play a lame game of hangman with Google search terms, yet lo and behold Nintendo says it has jointly developed a game with US internet giant Google in which players compete to generate the most search engine results.
Nintendo will release Ando Kensaku on April 29 as the first joint project between the two companies, a Nintendo spokesman said. In the game, to be given a Japan-only release for Nintendo’s Wii console, players compete by correctly guessing the most popular web search terms, and the word with the most hits wins, the spokesman said.
Needless to say we all know wonderful and colourful search results will yield much hilarity. Who uses a wii these days anyway? Seriously?
The year is 2033, humanity lays in ruins, the subways of Moscow seeth with survivors barely surviving at that. One of the biggest FPS RPG’s released this year is Metro 2033, set in a post-apocalyptic underground environment in Moscow. Brooding, visceral, gloomy and imposing, this action/adventure is a definite for my list of games to trial.
If only it didn’t have disproportionately large monster creatures, making it utterly unrealistic. Especially given that it uses two songs from the 28 Days Later soundtrack, part of me (well, a huge part of me) was praying it was zombie survival horror. It looks cute and all, but the elements of the narrative lost me the second there were giant mutant things.
Take a look for yourself: -
Is it just me, or do you wince every time you see a brilliant potential wasted? Game designers always go for the over the top road of everyone’s the super hero who saves the planet, or monsters have to be monsterous. Most don’t understand the subtleties of the human drama. The most fearsome monster is man, and the most rewarding position is to play as a nobody, equally pitting your skills with others in an attempt to become a somebody. Don’t start us off as super hardened veterans, and don’t set unrealistic glow in the dark radioactive mutated goat-llama’s as the villains.
Before I review this game through a play through, I offer this one piece of advice to it’s creators: rethink your strategy and utilise your game engine and current graphics, put in zombies (YAY) that aren’t unrealistic with no special ability aside from say, being the fast viral type from 28 Days Later (considering you opened that can of worms by using it’s soundtrack songs which got me thinking) and apply some means of MMORPG to the concept and watch your company become a great like Blizzard.
I mean, surely game companies MUST realise that a survival horror MMO of packed humans living in fear, building relationships and friendships, working in unison just to survive and scrabble for scraps and enough fuel to not freeze whilst being oppressed by the omnipotent of bleak stormy weather outside is an instant winner with an MMO element thrown in for good measure? By winner, I’m talking billion dollar franchise type stuff here.
The world is still waiting for a game producer to hit that niche–that, for a niche is pretty damn mainstream and huge–but will Metro’s creators be able to take that challenge and release an expansion/mod?
To begin I should point out that I was cynical about this game from the begining. The absurd fueding couple advert made it look like an utterly stupid over the top (not in a good way, in a ‘the designer is juvinile and thinks we’ll buy into so much lame unoriginal backstory’ way) game. So rather than wasting money on it I decided to rent it for a week. This review is a compilation of thoughts over a week mixed with a narrative identifying key elements of the game that you, as a gamer, will find helpful.
I began by reviewing the achievements for it before even inserting the disk; I figured I’d get a feel by playing multiplayer first and unlock a couple of achievements. Didn’t work as planned, the menu system is daft, the intro game chamber is lame and a waste of time trying to be edgy and replace a tree menu with a complex 3D environ of limited size. The main killer is that it’s another shitty Unreal Engine skinjob, so the game play is run around, spam fire, die, respawn, rinse and repeat; the very thing that marginalized a lot of the gamer community from FPS as a whole.
The graphics at 1080p may as well be 480p as you feel like you have tunnel vision, the view you have feels like you’re looking down a toilet roll six foot in front of where your eyes should be. The game controls are very unintuitive also, it feels very flat; very Duke Nukem actually!
It took me quite a bit of effort to even get a kill in, aiming is nearly impossible and if I wasn’t using the shotgun I’d have nought to show for my time. About to commence single player.
The game really marginalizes an intellignt player by trying to force dumb names for everything onto you, like ADAM and EVE and Splicer, etc. Little Sisters, Big Daddy. What the fuck were they smoking? I can tolerate a lot of bullshit but when I have to swallow a heap of really fragmented illogical ‘lore’ and nomenclature just to even play your shitty Unreal FPS you’re already ticking me off. They also cash in on the creepy little kid aspect which just reminds me of Silent Hill even more.
I’ve just completed it and reading the past paragraphs as much as I now have a soft spot for the game they’re still very true. The last paragraph of the ’100% completion guide’ I used said they didn’t complete two HUGE (100+ GP) achievements, rather than saying that earlier. I raged.
I won’t go into detail about the storyline, although there are plenty of spoilers out there or you could find the narrative somewhere but it’s very much a recap of BioShock, which is just a twist on System Shock 1 & 2 in concept with barely enough plot changes and setting changes.
I loved System Shock, the game within a game genre was still new so it carried it, but I fear it’s time that the company that produced it do two things. Decide what their company name is (you will see two screens full of 10 point font listing their business names used) and pick a new direction away from flat world undynamic highly singular plot driven story.
That being said, BioShock 2 would make an awesome indie horror flick! I’d totally watch it. One of the BEST elements and most memorable is toward the end where you take on the role of a ‘Little Sister’ and see the world as they see it. The grimy gritty death camp underwater is transformed into pillow thrown halls of drape white and red sheets full of stuffed toys.
Blood thirsty locals appear as classy hoity toity types admiring paintings and sculptures. Corpses semi decayed and fly blown are turned into gorgeous women and handsome men sleeping complete with regal outfits and glowing angel wings and halo on the floor surrounded by a cloud of butterflies.
This is brought into harsh contrast when sucking the ‘ADAM’ from their corpses which is when the illusion bursts temporarily until the job is complete.
I think the Little Sister aspect of the game really redeems it as it’s true visceral body horror in idea; it taps into the inner child and how differently we see things I suppose.
I’d give this a 8/10 if we forget the multiplayer system exists, and ignore the 50 secret achievements and one that requires you collect 100 (!!!) audio diaries when if you played straight through you’d find maybe 30 tops without a guide.
In other news, and far grander a purpose, the VIP car pack is on offer, featuring .. well, shitty cars you won’t want for $10, but that $10 goes to Save the Children Foundation’s Haiti appeal.
March saw the release of the next Downloadable Content Pack from Turn 10 for Forza 3, the “Jalopnik Car Pack”. What’s a Jalopnik? Your guess is as good as mine, but Turn 10 claim they hooked up with the staff at Jalopnik to bring out this uninspired package that costs 400 Microsoft Points (about $8) for ten cars, one or more of which must always be an Audi R8 V10 otherwise we would be stuck with our 60 other Audi V10′s of the same year model that Forza installs with or every DLC pack comes with.
I propose Turn 10 should release an Audi pack every month, that way they can get their kickbacks from the auto-manufacturer as their token car, and we can avoid having 1-2/10 slots pissed away with a shitty porche on mesculine with it’s dreary dated design and ever unimpressive mechanics (however do note that in Forza Audi’s are amazing super cars with 10/10 power, acceleration, launch, cornering, braking, etc (see: kickback)).
“We hooked up with the staff Jalopnik and put our minds together to bring you a car pack that would feature power, beauty, variety and most importantly, be a blast to drive around in. These cars, while not old have really interesting backgrounds. Let’s take a look at what makes these cars worthy of the car pack.
This is possibly the WORST DLC that Forza has released, the cars are beyond uninspired, they’re just plain. They fill categories we already have a plethora of cars to fill, and the ability to modify them is severely hampered by the category, type of engine, and the fact that they were in such a rush to cash in on the franchise that there’s ZERO body kits on offer pretty much aside from the ugly Forza front splitter and rear spoiler.
The Mugen Honda is the only thing with a bit of bite and worth painting up if you’re into the graphics side, the rest are all mediocre variants in their own categories. I will admit the Mazda ‘Too Many Baked Beans’ American Le Mans Series is a nifty looking ride, and possibly the only thing Mazda has ever produced that isn’t Piero Manzoni’s shit in a can.
I really can’t be arsed reviewing each car individually, as this time it really is same ol’ same ol’ and nothing stands out performance wise. So, on with Turn 10′s wank on the matter and some pretty pictures.
2008 Mazda Furai
Named for the ‘sound of the wind,’ Mazda’s futuristic concept car combines swooping good looks with a green streak. The car was visualized running ethanol E100 produced by British Petroleum.
Furai is based on an American Le Mans Series (ALMS) racing car. In fact, its Courage C65 chassis is the same platform Mazda campaigned in the ALMS series in 2006. A fierce 450-horsepower three-rotor rotary engine lays down the law with a stratospheric redline and that unmistakable rotary induced scream which may not ‘sound like the wind’ but it will be music to the ears of Forza 3 drivers.
2010 Honda Civic Type R Mugen
The ultimate Civic, the tasty 2010 Honda Civic Type R Mugen is a JDM fans wet dream come true. Starting with a Civic Type R three-door hatchback built in Honda’s British factory, Mugen unleashes the beast by adding high-compression pistons, more aggressive cams, high-flow intake and exhaust, and a Mugen ECU that makes it all sing in harmony at its 8,500-rpm redline. This boosts the 198-horse, 2.0-liter VTEC powerplant to 237.
The Honda also sports Mugen body tuning mods, an LSD, wheels and brakes. Forza is the best place to experience the 2010 Honda Civic Type R Mugen because production is limited to 20 copies for the UK market only and they go for $64,000 US; that’s right $64k for a Civic.
2009 #40 Robertson Racing Ford GT
Kevin Doran in Lebanon, Ohio built Robertson Racing’s #40 Ford GT racer to American Le Mans Series GT2 specs. The transition to race car has encompassed widening the track, reworking the suspension geometry and adding more adjustability as well as significant aerodynamic enhancements featuring contoured fender flares and downforce-generating front and rear spoilers. Power comes from a naturally aspirated Yates-built 5.0-liter V8 spec’d to the GT2 rulebook. The hearty V8 is backed by an Emco DP transaxle so the Blue Oval bruiser is ready to rumble on Forza 3.
2010 Aston Martin Rapide
Running in parallel to the Porsche Panamera, the Rapide is Aston Martin’s take on four-door ferocity. What is essentially a stretch DB9, the Rapide delivers the goods to the tune of 470 horsepower and 4.8-0-60s. The 5.9-liter V12 is mated to a ZF six-speed Touchtronic automatic transmission. While the real dealer starts delivery in the spring, thanks to Turn 10’s DLC you can drive it now.
2011 BMW Z4
The all-new 2011 BMW Z4 roadster is hotness on wheels. The fun-in-the-sun Bavarian is powered by BMW’s N54 direct-injection, twin-turbocharged straight six. The plant has been massaged for use in the two-seater pumping out 335 horsepower at 5,900 rpm and 332 lb-ft of torque from 1,500-4,500 rpm. The result is 0-60’s in the 4.7-second range with the potential for much more thanks to Forza 3’s deep tuning garage.
2010 Audi TT RS
The RS version takes the TT to the next level. The key players are the scintillating combination of its 2.5-liter turbocharged five-cylinder engine and the accompanying Quattro all-wheel-drive system. With 1.2 Bar (17.4 psi) of boost coursing through its veins the TT RS flexes 340 horsepower. The Inglostadt boys earned their pay for the week adding a stiffened sport suspension, better brakes and a six-speed manual to the car’s 4.6-second 0-60 prowess.
2010 #33 RSR Jaguar XKR
The Jaguar/RSR XKR is a full-tilt GT2-class American Le Mans Series racer based on the road going XKR. Noted road racer Paul Gentilozzi has transformed the car and plans to go to battle in 2010. A stout 550 horsepower V8 gives this cat the tenacity it will need to duel it out with 911s, ‘Vettes, Vipers and Aston Martins.
The #33 will be easy top spot with its lively green and black livery and massive rear spoiler. The car’s 2010 debut is slated for the season opening 12 Hours of Sebring on March 20th. Thanks to this time DLC you can grab the car, go to Sebring and compare your lap times to the real thing.
Porsche has added exclusivity to the 911, a design whose silhouette has not changed since in hit the road in 1964, by introducing a limited edition. The 250 copies of the Sport Classic pay homage to the Carrera RS 2.7 with body treatments and 19-inch Fuchs-inspired wheels. The Euro-only Sport Classic is powered by a 406 horse 3.liter flat six connected to a six speed manual gearbox. She’s an expensive date at $230,000, which makes her a prime addition to Forza 3.
2010 Aston Martin V12 Vantage
Live that James Bond 007 dream to the fullest behind the wheel of the Aston Martin V12 Vantage. Aston Martin says the V12 Vantage will feature a 6.0-liter V12 engine producing 510 horsepower and 420 lbs-ft of torque with a top speed of 190 mph and 0-62 mph time of 4.2 seconds. It’s hard to argue with those numbers.
1992 Bugatti EB110SS
The Volkswagen group was not the first entity to try to resurrect the Bugatti name. Penned by Marcello Gandini and assembled by coachbuilder Aerospatiale France the EB110 SS had the numbers of an iconic supercar; 12 cylinder, four turbos, five valves per cylinder and 650 horsepower, 3.3-second 0-60 and 217 mph top speed; impressive numbers in 1992. The RWD supercar featured aluminum body over carbon fiber tub construction and came with a $380,000 price tag, which was really steep in 1992. The car’s production run ended in 1995 with 31 units, one bought by none other than Michael Schumacher.
