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News for the ‘xbox’ Category

Halo: Reach (Around) Review, from a REAL Critic

I’m not a Halo fan, but I’ve familiarised myself with the previous games. When Halo was released back in 2000 I was too busy FPSing away with real games on PC’s and to be honest, the game console market was too pie in the sky back then for me to waste a dime on a console. So keep this in mind, and you’ll understand my viewpoint on some key issues of the game.

Reach fell short of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2′s $331M first day grossing, but it’s $213 million secured it as the highest grossing ‘entertainment launch’, beating out all other games, movies, and .. well, all entertainment. Except strippers.

The ONLY selling factor of this game in my opinion is the fact they have corrected a narratological flaw which has haunted them since day one. The Spartans are alive. You are not the last surviving super hero with matyr complex, and you can play as ‘one of’ the players in a game, which is exactly how I like my games. ‘Everyone’s the hero’ is such an outdated methodology of gameplay.

Every release of a Halo game had me asking if there was only one super hero or whether there’s armies in mech supported battle armor yet, every release was a disappointment. And Master Chief? What kind of a stupid name is that, I dig they were trying to be all ‘lol future army kthx’ but seriously, retarded.

In campaign mode, the first thing you will notice is that your fellow super soldiers are actually nerfed NPC’s. So nerfed in fact, if you take a dive behind an obstacle and set your controller down, go make yourself a coffee, watch a TV show, and come back, everyone is still standing and still exchanging fire in the ‘heat of battle’ kind of way it’s trying to depict itself as.

A spartan cannot kill a grunt. Wtf kind of nuboids wrote this game? Spartan mythology, or at least my take of it, was that they were super soldiers who could single handedly cleave a battlefield in two against insurmountable odds. Guess not. Although you don’t really care what happens to your team mates as there’s no emotive bonding, no cross-chatter between them that makes them ‘people’. It’s not a story about the epic last stand of the Spartans on a lone planet under full scale Covenant invasion, the last defence before earth and the fall of humanity. It just assumes you’ll ‘guess’ the story and ‘pick up the ambience’, without actually providing any.

Expect glitches, such as enemies in vehicles doing weird stuff or getting stuck, characters vanishing when killed and projectiles mysteriously piercing your shields and killing you. The flow of the game is no better, your radar only occasionally gives you waypoints, making you ‘guess’ the game play like Mass Effect. You also get obnoxious checkpoints slightly not where they’re meant to be, weapon racks after firefights, which on loading up leads you to a cut scene where you’re set back to default weapons anyway, and stuff is taken away from you inconsistently at absolute random points in the game, with the hump being perfectly and predictably mid-game where enemies can suddenly take on ten times the damage they previously took to die.

There ARE some pretty nice cut scenes, there’s nothing original or awe inspiring but if you’re a Halo fan boy, you’re already rolling your eyes at me and living in your denial that this is TTLY AWSUM. You’re wrong. It’s okay. If you’ve played the Halo: Reach Beta you’ll likely already be familiar with a lot of the new armour abilities, including jetpacks, sprinting (long overdue, a true sign of the banality and ineptitude of the game developers), and invulnerability but how they fit into the main campaign is another thing. Space combat is kind of cool, zero G adds a bit of a fun element.

Firefight 2.0 can be summed up as derivative of the fail PVP of Left 4 Dead 2, I won’t even go into more details about that, plenty of other people have given extremely positive and biased reviews of it, but to a hardened game critic you’ll just roll your eyes.

The multiplayer is ok. Halo has always had a vapid fanbase of multiplayers happy to spray’n’pray, die, respawn their way through player v player engagements, and so it continues. It does have a bit more of a Battlefield 2: Bad Company 2 feel to it in game dynamics though. Persistent armor is cute.

My ultimate caveat emptor is this.

If you’re not an XBL Gold member, or you’re a cynic, critic, or veteran gamer who just wants to experience the content, have a bit of a dick about, and score up some achievements (as with all games these days achievements are split so only XBL Gold members can unlock the goodies), then you will NOT be able to justify the high price tag Bungie placed on this.

If you’re up for further Bungie banality of grinding through endless dateless nights with your equally dateless friends in endless games of Firefight or Invasion, or simply a bleary eyed fanboy (or girl) of the left-dangling-in-the-air doubting your sanity due to the inconsistent narrative (nearly bordering on a JRPG) kind of aspect, then you lack the sense or mental faculty to understand what justifying a purchase means, and in fact you probably haven’t even read this far, so enjoy and gg.

6/10.

Posted: September 17th, 2010
Categories: consumer reviews, game reviews, games, xbox
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E3 Xbox: The Future, Plus The ALL NEW XBOX & Kinect

Just watching the live broadcast of the E3, telecast globally, and even comandeering the time square big TV. This will be a rambling review as it’s 4AM in Australia and I’m writing this as it happens. Some win announcements are Call of Duty: Black Ops with Xbox and Activision signing a contract that everything CoD will be Xbox first. The biggest downside is how ‘on rails’ it feels, all movement lacks kinetics of realism requisite for immersion. 10 years of Xbox, they definitely have some exciting things in store.

The new CoD will be out 11.09.10. Project Natal launched, being renamed Kinect (a play on kinetics and connect) with a world premier of new experiences promised. Kinect is a diminuitive set top addition that reads signatures of the attachments on the player.

This makes Nintendo seem as anachronistic as it’s lame mario franchises, which it always was as only tards bought them because they lacked any decent games and yes whilst it had some kinetic interaction the Nintendo Power Glove (for those old enough to remember if from the early 90′s) did exactly what Wii did and it flopped massively. Kinect seems to corner a multi-purpose application.

The stupidly named Metal Gear Solid Lightning Bolt Action Rising was launched by Konami with Kojima Productions where yaoi-to-be stars with oversized hair using their epic ninja skills can cut giant cyborgs ten times their size in half. I already want to scream at the head of anyone who’d buy something so stupid and lame.

Phil Spencer of Microsoft Game Studio lauded the industry defining multiplayer and graphics prowess of their Xbox platform before unveiling Gears of War 3, the gameplay looks fun but it’s definitely nothing that would be a blockbuster, except amongst teenage boys perhaps. One dynamic I liked was the fact you can use cover, like in Mass Effect 1 and 2, unsure whether this was in previous versions, as I said before, not my cup of tea due to it being too unrealistic / scifi fantasy.

Peter Molyneux, the creative director of MS Games Studios Europe announced another Xbox 360 exclusive, Fable 3, set 50 years after Fable 2. Loaded with choice and consequence, with action packed game play in a more immersive realm. Set to release 26.10.10, set in Albion you get to play a super awesome character that goes from revolutionary to emperor of win as per .. well, the other two. It’s very on-rails, but the graphics are very pretty albeit stereotypical of a fantasy game.

Microsoft’s newest partner Crytek revealed a very awe inspiring trailer for the dickily named Codename Kingdoms, look it up on YouTube, looks seriously cool from the trailer alone but don’t hold me to any promise of quality there.

After 34,000,000 games sold and 2b online hours Halo Reach was announced by Bungie, on the heels of the Halo Reach beta, citing it as the most ambitious game they’ve ever created. The unveiled world premier was of gameplay as opposed to cinematography, which makes the September shipping game look very impressive to the point where I’d say I may even jump in on the Halo franchise finally. That being said if they advertised it’s storyline better as zombies in space I would have been all over that shit. The music, ambience, cinematics, and dynamics of movement make it seem like it may very well be a blockbuster.

Kinect was explained as having an impact on more than just gaming, waving at Kinect will let it recognise who you are and sign you in simply by waving at it. Waving at it again will bring up a controller free menu, where you can interact using just hand gestures. There are no apparent things attached to the player, like we seemed to think, it just views the player optically. That does however mean that lighting will be an issue. It also enables voice commands, in a very in depth manner by addressing the device and following it with a verbal command. It really does look like Microsoft are trying to launch a tech-savvy household entertainment centre as part of the functionality of Kinect. To my chagrin they played Bustin’ Jeiber as a demonstration of how effortless it is to listen to music verbally.

An unexpected announcement was that on Windows Phone 7 Kinect and your Xbox will sync with it, allowing you to integrate your stuff in a more streamlined fashion. Using VideoKinect you can even watch movies with friends in other states, or even countries, online at the same time. Amusingly they chose Avatar Last Aidbender, with a comment about the ‘game about that’ and ‘boosting’ gamer scores. Lollip0p and Velveteen, two sisters, demo’d this but aside from the obvious potential of the technology were boring as batshit and so rigid in delivery.

My brain shut down when the ESPN logo came up, there was some rabble about some games based on sports, blah boring. Okay, sports aside, the USC graphics quality is AMAZING, it looks like you’re watching a sports match not playing a video game. It’s also interesting watching them interact with it through Kinect.

Kudo Tsunoda, the creative director for Kinect (Gamertag: Kudo) addressed his promise that Kinect would revolutionise the way you have fun, lauding the ‘it just works’ natural interaction system using your body and your voice–something that is usually reserved more for Apple products–Kinect promises to unite people socially, bringing people together in the same room or around the world in a lot of new ways. He went on to point out some six odd Kinect release games.

Kinect is slated for release November 4th globally.

  • Kinectimals are a fun bunch of interactive pets you can play with with your hands, interacting with the animals like they were in your living room. On screen the pet interacted with the young girl in some novel ways, even when she hid from it it cutely animated pressing up against the screen peering around trying to find where it’s owner went. The young girl also issued verbal commands, telling it which toys to go and get, one amusing animation was a matrix like barrel roll over a jump rope. You can adopt 40 animals with over 30 unique activities.
  • Kinect Sports had some English bloke taunting a crowd of avatars in a stadium, the first game they played was a track and field match where they ran on the spot and jumped imaginary hurdles. I refuse to put in that much effort to play a game, if I wanted that I’d get a friggen Wii. Other sports include soccer, bowling, running, javlin, long jump, table tennis, boxing, beach volleyball, and more.
  • Kinect Joy Ride is a controllerless car racing game, the graphics and dynamics look as novice as a Wii game, and having to use an ‘imaginary’ wheel is just ridiculous, all interactions seem to be automatic aside from the wheel. It really looks like a Wii game, except instead of a dicky Nintendo character from the 1980′s you have dicky avatar characters in their stead.
  • Kinect Adventures is some retarded rollercoaster ride where you have to dodge, jump and generally interact with crap from a static platform, a rollercoaster and a water raft being two examples shown. It does however seamlessly add in a new player when someone stands beside the current player, again though it’s far more motion than a real gamer is going to invest in playing what is fundamentally such a sophmoric game that it’s almost designed for the mildly retarded.
  • YourShape: Fitness Evolved, exlusive for Kinect from Ubisoft, will sink Wii Fit, doing everything Wii fit does and then some, with full body monitoring of your exercising to the point of even being able to tell if you’re doing aerobics in time, or dipping a knee to 90 degrees in certain exercises. The advert for it is outstanding and very creative, and the demonstration of the game environment portrays you and your entire body shape and interactions. It also gives you a glimpse as to how you look to the Kinect module, a yellow and orange blob with vague definitions of your more intricate features. If can measure your appendages, estimate your height, and calibrate in a manner that it entire absorbs you and tailors fitness routines to your exact shape.
  • Dance Central, from Harmonix, comparable to DDR on crack with liberal dashings of MTV. The quality of interaction with the game is pretty smashing, and it’s a very revitalising take on DDR without having a lame mat, or worse, a Nintendo product in your house.
  • Star Wars OMFG Lucasarts and Microsoft gaming studios team up to release a Kinect only star wars game where you get to weild a light saber and do .. starwarsy things. The graphics are very primative compared to other SW franchise games, but it looks like it has a lot of promise. This game alone will sink the evil Wii, but unfortunately there was little more than a teaser of gameplay and a note that it’s due 2011.

Turn 10 cam on to chat about Forza, talking about a Ferrari (GASP, no Audi?) discussing the way that it’ll allow you to use Kinect, using an imaginary steering wheel, but also allowing you to angle your head to look around the cabin of your vehicle which is a very handy feature. Marrying Forza 3′s amazing graphics with intuitive gameplay interaction is going to allow Turn 10 to provide radical car experiences. Browsing car designs just got better, you can interact with any part of the car and get the details of anything from headlights to carbon ceramic breaks, or walk around the vehicle to examine different parts. I’m praying that Kinect also implements with car design, I’m very well known for releasing some stunningly designed cars in Forza 3 and my main excuse is a friggen huge screen and patience, with this kind of intuitive interaction I should be able to release even more amazing designs. The previewing of cars also illustrated an internal examination where you can look at and interact with any feature of the vehicle.

The Xbox E3 closing speech came with a surprise, a NEW Xbox 360, sleaker, cooler looking, and shipping NOW, expect them to be in the stores by the end of the week. For those who’ve read through this rambling post (and I apologise, but it’s now five am and I’m shattered) I hope you enjoy this news and I look forward to gaming with you all in the future! Also, check out my YouTube channel for a peep at Halo Reach and the closing speech showing off the new Xbox at: http://www.youtube.com/user/bashpr0mpt

Posted: June 15th, 2010
Categories: consumer reviews, game reviews, games, lifestyle, pop culture, technology, xbox
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Game Review: Final Fantasy XVIII!1cvIEXWLOL

For quite a while I’ve been trying to think of how to review Final Fantasy XIII without spamming random letters by smashing my keyboard into my face whilst shouting profanities that aren’t even invented yet. I found a video that summarises how I feel. Out of all the games I’ve ever played, this was, by far, the worst gaming experience of my life; it was a corny weaboo video disc with a unidirectional linier pseudo-interactive DVD menu system where you have to repeatedly most the green button to see the next cut scene. It earned my first, and probably my only: 0/10.

I hope this REALLY is the FINAL Final Fantasy ever.

Xbox Natal set for October 2010 Release

A Microsoft employee may have inadvertently given away the biggest secret in gaming this year.

Project Natal is Microsoft’s attempt to revolutionise motion-control in video games.

An add-on for the XBox 360, it does away with handheld controllers altogether, relying solely on body motion and gestures caught on camera to control the on-screen action.

In a slow year for game fans – at least when it comes to hardware – Natal’s release couldn’t come soon enough.

And thanks to Microsoft marketing manager Syed Bilal Tarig, it may be coming sooner than expected.

In an interview with GamerTag radio, Tariq revealed Natal would get a worldwide release in October – a full two months before the end-of-year date that Microsoft had been peddling.

“I do have great news to share with everybody that Project Natal will be launched in Saudi Arabia at the same time it will be launched in the rest of the world, that is to be sometime in October,” he said.

“Definitely it is going to be October 2010, we will have it in Saudi Arabia for sure.”

He also confirmed that it would be unveiled at the E3 games expo in June, as rumoured.

Project Natal is one of a series of updates to the console that Microsoft claims will enable it to remain relevant for gamers until at least 2015.

It first appeared in public at last year’s E3 expo, where a basic unit showed it was capable of motion-tracking up to four players at once.

A notice sent out by Microsoft earlier this year suggests the exact date for the completed unit’s unveiling will be June 13, a day before the start of E3 2010.

Posted: May 13th, 2010
Categories: consumer reviews, game reviews, games, general, lifestyle, pop culture, reviews, technology, xbox
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Sims 3 for Xbox, PS3, Wii

In February, Electronic Arts laid out its release slate for the coming year. At the end of the list of games scheduled as coming in the October-December quarter was “The Sims 3 on Console Title TBA (consoles, handhelds).” The schedule backed up reports that initially surfaced in 2006 that the Sims series was coming to consoles. It also made perfect business sense, as the Sims 3 has sold over 4.5 million units to date on the PC and Mac, making it the top PC game of 2009. Today, EA officially announced that the Sims 3 will ship for the DS, Wii, Xbox 360, and PlayStation 3 this fall. Published under the EA Play label, the game will sport many of the same customization and character creation options as the PC edition of the game, as well as some new features. These include karma powers, which players can use to give their in-game incarnations instant luck–be it good or bad.

Sims 3 is already cross platform as it is with iPhone / iPod extended expansions allowing your favorite sims to be exported to come with you anywhere for unlimited adventures around the world, so these expansions will make it the most platform open game engine developed.

Posted: April 28th, 2010
Categories: game reviews, games, news, reviews, xbox
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Left 4 Dead 2: No Online Games Bug

Dozens of online L4D2 players on my Xbox Live list as well as random strangers have been hassling me to point out and draw attention to how poorly made Left4Dead 2 is as far as online play.

Many of you who have it will notice even when you select quickmatch, no matter what time or day, you get 0 results after much delay and it generates a player lobby for you. A lobby which can take up to an hour to fill four slots. If you google this problem you’ll find over 378,000 people asking the same question and a grand total of -ZERO- replies from the manufacturer.

Given that a lot of the gameplay and achievements focus, albeit force, the user on lame repetative grinding of the very uninspired multiplayer challenges beyond co-op play, this is a MAJOR let down and a massive impact on the games playability.

• Attached is a photo of all the screen capped achievements for comparison.

Without functional network play many if not most achievements remain locked. Over the next few days I will be taking this up with Valve to see if I can get an official response. Stay tuned, and zombiephiles, follow me on: –

Twitter: http://twitter.com/bashpr0mpt
Facebook: http://facebook.com/bashpr0mpt
MySpace: http://myspace.com/bashpr0mpt

I’m not spammy and will do my best to keep you and my tens of thousands of zany readers entertained and most of all, up to date on this friggen annoying bug!

Posted: April 11th, 2010
Categories: game reviews, L4D2, rant, xbox, zombies
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Game Review: Bioshock 2 (2010, Xbox)

To begin I should point out that I was cynical about this game from the begining. The absurd fueding couple advert made it look like an utterly stupid over the top (not in a good way, in a ‘the designer is juvinile and thinks we’ll buy into so much lame unoriginal backstory’ way) game. So rather than wasting money on it I decided to rent it for a week. This review is a compilation of thoughts over a week mixed with a narrative identifying key elements of the game that you, as a gamer, will find helpful.

I began by reviewing the achievements for it before even inserting the disk; I figured I’d get a feel by playing multiplayer first and unlock a couple of achievements. Didn’t work as planned, the menu system is daft, the intro game chamber is lame and a waste of time trying to be edgy and replace a tree menu with a complex 3D environ of limited size. The main killer is that it’s another shitty Unreal Engine skinjob, so the game play is run around, spam fire, die, respawn, rinse and repeat; the very thing that marginalized a lot of the gamer community from FPS as a whole.

The graphics at 1080p may as well be 480p as you feel like you have tunnel vision, the view you have feels like you’re looking down a toilet roll six foot in front of where your eyes should be. The game controls are very unintuitive also, it feels very flat; very Duke Nukem actually!

It took me quite a bit of effort to even get a kill in, aiming is nearly impossible and if I wasn’t using the shotgun I’d have nought to show for my time. About to commence single player.

The game really marginalizes an intellignt player by trying to force dumb names for everything onto you, like ADAM and EVE and Splicer, etc. Little Sisters, Big Daddy. What the fuck were they smoking? I can tolerate a lot of bullshit but when I have to swallow a heap of really fragmented illogical ‘lore’ and nomenclature just to even play your shitty Unreal FPS you’re already ticking me off. They also cash in on the creepy little kid aspect which just reminds me of Silent Hill even more.

I’ve just completed it and reading the past paragraphs as much as I now have a soft spot for the game they’re still very true. The last paragraph of the ’100% completion guide’ I used said they didn’t complete two HUGE (100+ GP) achievements, rather than saying that earlier. I raged.

I won’t go into detail about the storyline, although there are plenty of spoilers out there or you could find the narrative somewhere but it’s very much a recap of BioShock, which is just a twist on System Shock 1 & 2 in concept with barely enough plot changes and setting changes.

I loved System Shock, the game within a game genre was still new so it carried it, but I fear it’s time that the company that produced it do two things. Decide what their company name is (you will see two screens full of 10 point font listing their business names used) and pick a new direction away from flat world undynamic highly singular plot driven story.

That being said, BioShock 2 would make an awesome indie horror flick! I’d totally watch it. One of the BEST elements and most memorable is toward the end where you take on the role of a ‘Little Sister’ and see the world as they see it. The grimy gritty death camp underwater is transformed into pillow thrown halls of drape white and red sheets full of stuffed toys.

Blood thirsty locals appear as classy hoity toity types admiring paintings and sculptures. Corpses semi decayed and fly blown are turned into gorgeous women and handsome men sleeping complete with regal outfits and glowing angel wings and halo on the floor surrounded by a cloud of butterflies.

This is brought into harsh contrast when sucking the ‘ADAM’ from their corpses which is when the illusion bursts temporarily until the job is complete.

I think the Little Sister aspect of the game really redeems it as it’s true visceral body horror in idea; it taps into the inner child and how differently we see things I suppose.

I’d give this a 8/10 if we forget the multiplayer system exists, and ignore the 50 secret achievements and one that requires you collect 100 (!!!) audio diaries when if you played straight through you’d find maybe 30 tops without a guide.

Overall I’d give it a 6/10.

Posted: March 21st, 2010
Categories: game reviews, games, xbox
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Forza 3: Jalopnik Car Pack Review

In other news, and far grander a purpose, the VIP car pack is on offer, featuring .. well, shitty cars you won’t want for $10, but that $10 goes to Save the Children Foundation’s Haiti appeal.

March saw the release of the next Downloadable Content Pack from Turn 10 for Forza 3, the “Jalopnik Car Pack”. What’s a Jalopnik? Your guess is as good as mine, but Turn 10 claim they hooked up with the staff at Jalopnik to bring out this uninspired package that costs 400 Microsoft Points (about $8) for ten cars, one or more of which must always be an Audi R8 V10 otherwise we would be stuck with our 60 other Audi V10′s of the same year model that Forza installs with or every DLC pack comes with.

I propose Turn 10 should release an Audi pack every month, that way they can get their kickbacks from the auto-manufacturer as their token car, and we can avoid having 1-2/10 slots pissed away with a shitty porche on mesculine with it’s dreary dated design and ever unimpressive mechanics (however do note that in Forza Audi’s are amazing super cars with 10/10 power, acceleration, launch, cornering, braking, etc (see: kickback)).

“We hooked up with the staff Jalopnik and put our minds together to bring you a car pack that would feature power, beauty, variety and most importantly, be a blast to drive around in. These cars, while not old have really interesting backgrounds. Let’s take a look at what makes these cars worthy of the car pack.

This is possibly the WORST DLC that Forza has released, the cars are beyond uninspired, they’re just plain. They fill categories we already have a plethora of cars to fill, and the ability to modify them is severely hampered by the category, type of engine, and the fact that they were in such a rush to cash in on the franchise that there’s ZERO body kits on offer pretty much aside from the ugly Forza front splitter and rear spoiler.

The Mugen Honda is the only thing with a bit of bite and worth painting up if you’re into the graphics side, the rest are all mediocre variants in their own categories. I will admit the Mazda ‘Too Many Baked Beans’ American Le Mans Series is a nifty looking ride, and possibly the only thing Mazda has ever produced that isn’t Piero Manzoni’s shit in a can.

I really can’t be arsed reviewing each car individually, as this time it really is same ol’ same ol’ and nothing stands out performance wise. So, on with Turn 10′s wank on the matter and some pretty pictures.

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2008 Mazda Furai

Named for the ‘sound of the wind,’ Mazda’s futuristic concept car combines swooping good looks with a green streak. The car was visualized running ethanol E100 produced by British Petroleum.

Furai is based on an American Le Mans Series (ALMS) racing car. In fact, its Courage C65 chassis is the same platform Mazda campaigned in the ALMS series in 2006. A fierce 450-horsepower three-rotor rotary engine lays down the law with a stratospheric redline and that unmistakable rotary induced scream which may not ‘sound like the wind’ but it will be music to the ears of Forza 3 drivers.

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2010 Honda Civic Type R Mugen

The ultimate Civic, the tasty 2010 Honda Civic Type R Mugen is a JDM fans wet dream come true. Starting with a Civic Type R three-door hatchback built in Honda’s British factory, Mugen unleashes the beast by adding high-compression pistons, more aggressive cams, high-flow intake and exhaust, and a Mugen ECU that makes it all sing in harmony at its 8,500-rpm redline. This boosts the 198-horse, 2.0-liter VTEC powerplant to 237.

The Honda also sports Mugen body tuning mods, an LSD, wheels and brakes. Forza is the best place to experience the 2010 Honda Civic Type R Mugen because production is limited to 20 copies for the UK market only and they go for $64,000 US; that’s right $64k for a Civic.

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2009 #40 Robertson Racing Ford GT

Kevin Doran in Lebanon, Ohio built Robertson Racing’s #40 Ford GT racer to American Le Mans Series GT2 specs. The transition to race car has encompassed widening the track, reworking the suspension geometry and adding more adjustability as well as significant aerodynamic enhancements featuring contoured fender flares and downforce-generating front and rear spoilers. Power comes from a naturally aspirated Yates-built 5.0-liter V8 spec’d to the GT2 rulebook. The hearty V8 is backed by an Emco DP transaxle so the Blue Oval bruiser is ready to rumble on Forza 3.

3_5_2010_Aston_Martin_Rapide

2010 Aston Martin Rapide

Running in parallel to the Porsche Panamera, the Rapide is Aston Martin’s take on four-door ferocity. What is essentially a stretch DB9, the Rapide delivers the goods to the tune of 470 horsepower and 4.8-0-60s. The 5.9-liter V12 is mated to a ZF six-speed Touchtronic automatic transmission. While the real dealer starts delivery in the spring, thanks to Turn 10’s DLC you can drive it now.

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2011 BMW Z4

The all-new 2011 BMW Z4 roadster is hotness on wheels. The fun-in-the-sun Bavarian is powered by BMW’s N54 direct-injection, twin-turbocharged straight six. The plant has been massaged for use in the two-seater pumping out 335 horsepower at 5,900 rpm and 332 lb-ft of torque from 1,500-4,500 rpm. The result is 0-60’s in the 4.7-second range with the potential for much more thanks to Forza 3’s deep tuning garage.

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2010 Audi TT RS

The RS version takes the TT to the next level. The key players are the scintillating combination of its 2.5-liter turbocharged five-cylinder engine and the accompanying Quattro all-wheel-drive system. With 1.2 Bar (17.4 psi) of boost coursing through its veins the TT RS flexes 340 horsepower. The Inglostadt boys earned their pay for the week adding a stiffened sport suspension, better brakes and a six-speed manual to the car’s 4.6-second 0-60 prowess.

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2010 #33 RSR Jaguar XKR

The Jaguar/RSR XKR is a full-tilt GT2-class American Le Mans Series racer based on the road going XKR. Noted road racer Paul Gentilozzi has transformed the car and plans to go to battle in 2010. A stout 550 horsepower V8 gives this cat the tenacity it will need to duel it out with 911s, ‘Vettes, Vipers and Aston Martins.

The #33 will be easy top spot with its lively green and black livery and massive rear spoiler. The car’s 2010 debut is slated for the season opening 12 Hours of Sebring on March 20th. Thanks to this time DLC you can grab the car, go to Sebring and compare your lap times to the real thing.

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2010 Porsche 911 Sport Classic

Porsche has added exclusivity to the 911, a design whose silhouette has not changed since in hit the road in 1964, by introducing a limited edition. The 250 copies of the Sport Classic pay homage to the Carrera RS 2.7 with body treatments and 19-inch Fuchs-inspired wheels. The Euro-only Sport Classic is powered by a 406 horse 3.liter flat six connected to a six speed manual gearbox. She’s an expensive date at $230,000, which makes her a prime addition to Forza 3.

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2010 Aston Martin V12 Vantage

Live that James Bond 007 dream to the fullest behind the wheel of the Aston Martin V12 Vantage. Aston Martin says the V12 Vantage will feature a 6.0-liter V12 engine producing 510 horsepower and 420 lbs-ft of torque with a top speed of 190 mph and 0-62 mph time of 4.2 seconds. It’s hard to argue with those numbers.

3_5_1992_Bugatti_EB110SS

1992 Bugatti EB110SS

The Volkswagen group was not the first entity to try to resurrect the Bugatti name. Penned by Marcello Gandini and assembled by coachbuilder Aerospatiale France the EB110 SS had the numbers of an iconic supercar; 12 cylinder, four turbos, five valves per cylinder and 650 horsepower, 3.3-second 0-60 and 217 mph top speed; impressive numbers in 1992. The RWD supercar featured aluminum body over carbon fiber tub construction and came with a $380,000 price tag, which was really steep in 1992. The car’s production run ended in 1995 with 31 units, one bought by none other than Michael Schumacher.

Posted: March 17th, 2010
Categories: forza, game reviews, games, xbox
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Game Review: Toy Soldiers (2010, Xbox)

Microsoft Game Studios and Signal Studios have finally released the long awaited–and cause of much torment from awesome video downloads of game play–base defence with a twist, Toy Soldiers.

I haven’t had a chance to play the full version, for reasons I’ll go into later, yet the demo speaks tomes for the quality f feel, immersion, and gameplay.

This game is what Battle Chess was to my generation, taking something socially awkward yet addictive and utilising technology to make it kick arse! Set at the commencement of World War I, battles are fought on a table top with toy soldiers between the Allied Nations and Central Powers of the Kaiser.

The models are amazingly rendered in full corny post-30′s toy soldier grotesque. The grainy film projector feel video mixed with the lofi records playing in the background of WWI era music.

On commencement of the demo you get to see the boxes of your toy soldiers, base defence units, and your snazzy red baron tri-plane ‘with over 200 parts!’ The pieces you ‘play’ on the Battlefield are rather autonomous, you earn cash to upgrade and repair units by destroying your opponents units in a tower / base defence fashion–albeit with a solid 3D feel and full camera control–with an ability to micro manage units.

Whether you choose to fly planes, use ‘shell-cam’ to manually guide in an arty shell, or even camp at your base and snipe from the sniper tower it’s addictive stuff! Before you know it you’re in the midst of battle, upgrading units, taking on manual aiming of units, and poof before you known it you’ve unlocked a few avatar rewards.

Now if only you’ll ‘unlock the full version for 1,200 Microsoft points.’ That translates to ‘If you buy this game for $20 odd bucks we’ll give you a gas mask for your avatar.’ in MS brainwashing terms used to make you feel detached from the fiscal costs and thus desensitize you to buying crap and impulse purchasing.

Marketing wank aside, the other downside is the fact there’s only 200 gamer points in it; I won’t play a game with anything under 1,000 GP; reason being I’ve had some smaller buggier Xbox Arcade games flip their shit and glitch never awarding the measley few GP they should.

If it had 1KGP I’d be all for it, but to those willing to blow $20-30 on it you won’t be disappointed at all; it really is cute, novel, and brilliant!

Tentative 8/10, add more GP and it’d be a 9! (10′s reserved for 9′s with pre-requisite zombie plague related content only.)

Post-script: I bought it, it’s cute. Tower defence sums it up well, addictive but not very expansive and it’s replayability is low with it’s network play being excessively unlikely to get much use as it’s not a kickin’ rad game like BC2 or L4D2 or some such. (Protip: L4D2 AU edition still doesn’t really work, not detecting any online games .. ever. 🙁

Posted: March 16th, 2010
Categories: consumer reviews, games, war games, xbox
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Tardy, but good news

I’ve been very tardy of late blogging, but my Internet has been shaped to under 2kbps and I’m waiting to churn to TPG because Optus just doesn’t get the market trends and aren’t competative. A lot has happened behind the scenes, it started when I got to talking to a few other bloggers about wanting a depeche mode shirt from Left 4 Dead 2 which is impossible to get.

Within a day or so we registered gear4gamers.com with intent to track down hard to find shit we want but can’t get and offer them to the public too. It’s mostly been a platform for my obsessive giving away of expesive race cars from Forza 3 heavily modified and custom painted with my art or great quality racing livery.

Now I’ve come to a turning point, other services are coming forwards gamers would love, such as a bespoke console, hand held and laptop laminating firm wanting to do customs for gamers, through to gamer point grinding for xbox epeen but one that’s been on my mind is TPG Internet reseller status.

Their customer service is shit and it’s all through some dodgy off shore call centre but it’s the fastest and largest cap for the lowest price in Australia. Now it’s cheap as it is but resellers would get it cheaper, right? And mark it up to make a profit? Stands to reason that if I use my business registrations for gear4gamers.com (btw follow us on Twitter, http://twitter.com/gear4gamers for give aways and news) that I can get it at a discount rate and allow people to sign up discounted! I mean they can’t bar me from their service if I refuse to make a profit right? That’s my own perogative, or should be.

So, for all my Australian fans, stay tuned. I’ll apply and read over the fine print, and all going well you’ll have an excuse to churn to naked ADSL2+ with a 160GB cap for less than their regular price which is already the cheapest in the country.

I’ll specifically point out on the site that it’s only for net savvy people, because even their level 2 technicians in the customer service area are moronic. Basically TPG is a virtual ISP reselling Telstra ADSL2+ which is great quality but like a mac, too expensive to be practical. So I’ll be a virtual-virtual ISP yet giving away a discounted service just because .. well, it’s 2010, we as a nation SHOULD HAVE affordable high speed Internet to bloody begin with.

So yeah, forgive my tardiness for a few more days as my net gets sorted and I’ll get working on gear4gamers.com’s site and organize services and products ASAP. If anyone wants to help out, just contact me or G4G on Twitter. We’re after bloggers to review gamer shit as well as people willing to band together in a tree hugging commie cluster fuck of providing gamers with great deals.

Also writing a few iPhone apps over the next month or so targeting gamers to make their lives easier; especially apt now that the iPad has been declared. (amusingly iPad isn’t in the iPhone I’m talking ons dictionary, it changed it to oLaf. Guess it wasn’t a glint in Steve Jobs’ eye back then!)

Caveat, I can smell BS from a mile away so if products or services seem dodgy or you’re out to make a savage bite at my gamer friends wallets save your time and DIAF. But if you legitimately want to make a fair profit and provide quality for a niche let’s talk and work something out.

Posted: January 29th, 2010
Categories: consumer reviews, games, general, lifestyle, pop culture, technology, xbox
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Review of Show Car DLC for Forza

After a screaming success of Forza fans who bought the first DLC for the game off scale over Christmas, Turn 10 decided to release the long anticipated next ten cars named the Show Car Pack. This pack promised to kick arse with ten big hitters that we all assumed would be kickin’ rad 2010 power houses.

We were so, so, so terribly wrong. I began this blog post positively in mind, excited after spending three days downloading the tiny pack due to shonky internet. Slowly as I began listing the specs of each car I realized what a lemon this DLC patch was.

Read on for a break down of the vehicles before buying it, if you still think it’s worth it at the end grab a copy. To save folks who aren’t into or don’t understand specs the read I added pros and cons and a conclusion at the bottom of this post.

Only the Astin Martin and the Saleen redeem the point of purchasing this car pack.

Aston Martin
2010 One-77
$1,850,000

S684

8.5 speed
6.0 handling
7.9 acceleration
7.0 launch
6.0 braking

Pros: Sleek looking design, expect plenty of wicked paint jobs from me through gear4gamers.com for it. The specs scream potential modifiable R2-R1 that doesn’t look like a freshly slapped arse.

Cons: Price tag, price tag, price tag. It’s also RWD, I like my ponies on the floor and AWD gives the launch and acceleration that let’s you tear up most courses.

AUDI
2009 RS 6
$155,000

C480

7.9 speed
5.3 handling
5.6 acceleration
7.1 launch
5.3 braking

Pros: Nice top speed for a C, AWD potential to be a high end performer.

Cons: What is this car even doing here? 10% of the entire car pack wasted on a generic uninspired ugly sedan. We all know AUDI and Hyundai pay off Turn 10 and Microsoft to pump the game full of their shitty under performing cars with unrealistic specs compared to their IRL equiv.s but shit me. It’s a generic plain four door sedan. And it’s LAST YEARS MODEL. Wasted slot of the ten pack.

AUDI
2009 R8 LMS Show Car
$320,000

R3 712

6.8 speed
6.8 handling
7.8 acceleration
7.9 launch
7.0 braking

Pros: Looks mean, a cleaner lined version of the A4 Touring minus the badass stance.

Cons: Twice the price of the 2010 R8 and it’s bodykit doesn’t make up for it. It’s specs are BARELY worthy of R3, really uninspired addition. Grab the current year model and drop the spare $150k on engineering and you’ll blow the doors off idiots who buy or race this car. Wasted slot of the ten pack.

BMW Motorsports
2010 M6 Coupe
$90,000

B455

7.3 speed
5.2 handling
5.8 acceleration
6.0 launch
5.0 braking

Pros: … I can’t find a single thing nice to say. It … it’s red?

Cons: Its a stock standard uninspired coupe with nothing special about it but a hefty price tag for a very mediocre vehicle. Also there’s not much in the way of parts you could use to beef it up. Stock B class rubbish. Wasted slot in the ten pack.

Chevrolet
2010 Corvette Grand Sport
$60,000

A543

7.5 speed
5.7 handling
6.7 acceleration
6.6 launch
5.5 braking

Pros: Sleek look, some may like it.

Cons: Looks like an AMG back when Merc were going through their annorexic south korean ‘hope there ain’t no cross breeze, someone fetch me a cover note’ days. It’s specs are acceptable for it’s class, but it’s no head turner. Another wasted slot.

Ford
2010 Shelby GT500
$50,000

B460

7.3 speed
5.0 handling
6.0 acceleration
5.4 launch
4.8 braking

Pros: Solid stance angry muscle car, lots of room for design fun, and heaps of room for modification to R3 maybe R2.

Cons: Barely different from the 2009 model, seems to be a bit bulkier around the front end body kit with a little more buldge on the bonnet, and has an arial. That’s pretty weird. Also, underpowered. Comparing US muscle car Fords to Australian Ford Falcons makes you realize while we pay twice as much for our cars they put out twice the power of the top end US equivs.

Lotus
2009 2-Eleven
$66,000

A572

5.0 speed
6.5 handling
7.0 acceleration
7.9 launch
6.7 braking

Pros: Unique looking topless ride, looks like a fusion between a kit car and a smart car, some of you might like that, but some of you also like men fucking your arse. I sense a demographic overlap …

Cons: It looks like something you buy when you’re 55, divorced, realized you actually like the cock and it wasn’t just ‘exploration’ back at university after all. Lotus have always been that way though.

Pagani
2010 Zonda R
$1,600,000

R2 848

8.2 speed
7.6 handling
8.6 acceleration
7.9 launch
7.6 braking

Pros: Badass looking rear engine mounted RWD.

Cons: Not much design style available, average specs, not many parts to upgrade and a HUGE PRICE TAG.

Porsche
2010 Boxter S
$42,000

B447

6.4 speed
5.5 handling
5.6 acceleration
6.4 launch
5.4 braking

Pros: Don’t even go there.

Cons: Looks like a fucking MR2 from the 1980s, shit specs, shit design, shit everything. What the hell were Porsche thinking? Why did Turn 10 even include this POS?

Saleen
2010 S5S Raptor
$185,000

S647

7.5 speed
6.0 handling
7.8 acceleration
7.2 launch
6.0 braking

Pros: Sleek design, looks like it could be a lambo prototype if it mated with the 2010 AUDI R8 minus the worst elements of both. Good solid racing stats, low enough range to have lots of mods. Solid quick car.

Cons: Price is a little nasty and more engines and parts would be nice. A little too AUDI in that VW ‘new’ Beetle way.

Conclusion: I wasted 400 MSP buying this … WHY? 2/10 cars that don’t suck. Rating this content patch a 1 out of 5 stars for obvious reasons.

Posted: January 23rd, 2010
Categories: consumer reviews, forza, games, reviews, xbox
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Cynics Guide to 2010 Technology

With 2009 now well and truly over, our eyes must inevitably turn to 2010. In Arthur C Clarke’s famous novel, this was the year when the Russians and Americans teamed up on a universe redefining mission to uncover the secrets of reality.

In the real world, there’ll probably be a slightly faster iPhone. All things considered, we’ll call it a draw.

But what else can we expect? We’ve dug out the crystal ball (in the knowledge that nobody ever, ever bothers looking back at futurologists’ old work) to bring you this exclusive preview of the months to come. It’s science!

January: Windows 8 is released, several years ahead of schedule. New features include an updated title screen, three new pieces of wallpaper, and a version of Minesweeper with the xyzzy cheat code back in.

Apple counters by releasing a blank CD as the next version of OS X, describing it as ‘the atom bomb in our war against bloat’.

February: Rupert Murdoch gives up on the internet in disgust, citing widespread piracy and the impossibility of selling content online as the main reasons.

As one final act of revenge, he releases the world’s first hard copy of the web. ‘Taste of your own bloody medicine,’ he tells the pirate community, which immediately sets about scanning it in for the torrent sites.

March: Declining advertising revenues finally force change on web services. Around the world, former online millionaires are seen holding desperate cardboard signs reading ‘Will Host Photos For Food’.

April: Google launches Chrome OS, a Linux-based operating system designed to capitalise on what’s left of the web economy. Users aren’t entirely blown away by it, citing its limited features and the inherent benefits of downloadable software over online JavaScript applications, especially in the face of May’s zombie apocalypse.

June: With May officially declared The Month We Never Speak Of Again, the world returns to the important stuff: the brand-new iPhone. New features include a diamond screen to prevent scratching, an updated maps application that tells you where you’re going before you’ve even decided, and an FM tuner.

Worried that the market might be getting oversaturated, Steve Jobs only permits one to be built. Apple fanboys happily queue up for the chance to buy a photograph of him using it.

July: Hollywood finally closes the infamous ‘analogue hole’. Previous attempts at foiling ‘if you can see it, you can copy it’ are declared to have failed due to aiming at the wrong half of the sentence. Giant metal barriers are constructed in front of every cinema screen.

Viewers comment that while this does detract from the experience, it’s still better than sitting through Transformers 2. Pirates continue to rip Oscar screener DVDs like before.

August: First conviction for Skype Rage upheld. The judge says that while he appreciates the frustration new college student Phillip Carmichael built up after listening to his parents saying ‘Can you hear me? Is this coming through?’ for two hours, actually jumping into a car, driving seven hours across the country and murdering them as they continued parroting the question into their cheap microphone was a little too much.

September: Intel fights back against AMD’s latest so-small-you-can-only-see-it-under-a-microscope chip by building one so small, you can’t even do that. At least, that’s what it claims. AMD is invited to prove it’s lying.

October: Scandal rages through the graphics industry as the world’s first completely digital actor turns out to be merely be a deeply unconvincing human.

With his plastic skin, dead eyes and no trace of personality, mournful meat marionette Virtual Actor-One confesses that he thought officially changing his name would be the best way of finding work in an increasingly tech-focused Hollywood. Actor-One’s past roles include the third guard on the right in Tron and the T-Rex from Jurassic Park.

November: Scientists at CERN finally manage to create the elusive ‘god particle’ in the Large Hadron Collider. Fighting promptly breaks out over what it should be called, how it should be studied and how technicians should dress to do so. Luckily, the community soon finds a way to settle the various issues to everyone’s satisfaction. “If only we’d had Halo 3 Deathmatch during the Crusades,” sighs the Pope.

December: Bill Gates announces the discovery of clinical immortality. Everyone under the age of 55 is eligible and anyone can afford it, until someone finally reads the EULA in detail and discovers that the yearly licence renewal fee for their existence is based on an exponential scale. On the plus side, the slave collars are really very fetching.

First published in PC Plus Issue #290

Posted: January 12th, 2010
Categories: consumer reviews, general, journalism, lifestyle, pop culture, reviews, technology, xbox
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Review of Zombie Apocalypse by Konami

Was going to review Zombie Apocalypse for the xbox, but it’s so regurgitated and crap that it doesn’t deserve it. It’s a button mash, although more primative than the already regurgitated button mash techniques one expects from games, it’s basically a reskinned Postal, with zombies instead of civillians.

So sick of detivative games. There’s always the double jump, the ledge hang, the button spam of ‘light’ and ‘heavy’ attacks to make a ‘combo’, you always need to mount a giant, balrog, troll, dinosaur or something to break those big doors down and there’s always health ups to collect in the same derivative fashion.

Gaming has become so boring and predictable. Everything is the same only names and graphics change.

Really disappointed with how boorish most game dev’s are, I expect good stuff from Konami but regularly encounter disappointment. Silent Hill is another typical example of button mash in sequence, like in Fear, Dante’s Inferno, Ice Age (all), Tomb Raider (all), god the list goes on.

I think Tom Clancy’s Endwar is the only game I own that isn’t derivative shite in some form. C’mon game developers, stun me. Maybe release an MMORPG that feels as finished as World of Warcraft? Not like Star Trek Online, which whilst still seeming vaporware (a decade of development and two companies going under) managed to sell out the entire concept of MMO where EVERYONE is the hero.

Seriously, blah. Look what you started, Konami! Fuck you and your lame rip of Postal (original) with zombies.

Watching Deadgirl (2008) next, expect my review of it in a few hours.

Posted: January 9th, 2010
Categories: games, reviews, xbox, zombies
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Review of Dante’s Inferno by Visceral

I’ve been following Visceral’s progress with their show pony, Dante’s Inferno, for quite some time. Better known for gritty horroresque smashes like Dead Space and sequels this project takes Dante Alighieri’s poem, throws out almost every page, gives a giant fucking scythe to a self mutilating god bothering crusader and laughs it’s way to the bank with this blockbuster to be when it releases on the 9th of February 2010.

Visceral Games are very .. well, visceral with their creations, I watched several hours if dev documentary over the course of the games development from inception to creation, so I was well pleased at getting a chance to play it pre-release.

Having had a chance to review the game play I was honestly torn. The cut scenes are gritty, nasty, horrific and gory but the game play leaves you wanting, it’s an over the shoulder type platformer where button mash is the way to go for mass destruction. There’s a lot of on screen prompted keystrokes for fatality type moves, and the overall feel is that of 2010′s Assassins Creed 2 minus free movement in any way.

Playing through the storyline is interesting though, the fact you’re confronted by some random hot naked woman who’s Dante’s girlfriend within the first five minutes made me grin, albeit I can see the game being banned in Australia due to their lack of R18+ ratings for video games.

The platform jumping type feel is irksome, and at times the linear progression is rather constrictive, leaving you one path to follow down to the pixel or certain death shall follow.

It’s sales will be high and it’ll be hyped up the whazoo so it’s probably good I had a chance to review this game before corporate marketing polluted my view. The cut scenes and story line is pervasive and intimidatingly good, never has man seen such a true vision of hell.

It lacks zombies but has a naked undead babe, so I think it’s worth a good 7.5/10.

Posted: January 8th, 2010
Categories: games, xbox
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Streaming MKV on Xbox 360

So there’s a file type out there called MKV. It’s shit. Only absolute wankers use it. It provides no greater a compression ratio than any other file format that is supported on almost friggen everything and is supported on very, very few default installs of any player. It’s the bane of the xbox 360 TV streamers world, and causes more QQ from noobs than any other format. It’s commonly used by fucktards who think people use RAR still, or bother compressing single files under a few hundred meg when there’s no compression pay off to time wasted fucking around. Needless to say, the idiot proof program for streaming PC to Xbox, TVersity, doesn’t support it.

MKV will eat your soul, almost every forum and thread on it is people bitching and moaning about how unsupported it is followed by absolute dimwits trying to defend it when all the consumer wanted was something that works out the box rather than a grow-and-assemble-your-own-automobile-from-scratch kit.

Well, let my countless downloads of various programs, codecs, and virii and having to manually remove EVERY FRIGGEN CODEC on my box to use various ‘methods’ that ‘TTLY WRK DOODLOL’ and cut to the chase: –

GOTSent, http://www.videohelp.com/tools/GOTSent

That’ll do it. It does however need you to download and install two programs before installing it, I won’t go into the tl;dr about what they’re for yadda yadda, they are: –

Haali Media Splitter, http://www.videohelp.com/tools/haali_media_splitter
AC3 Filter, http://www.videohelp.com/tools/ac3_filter

Haali will allow GOTSent to split your files to 4 gig (or whatever you set it to) to burn to DVD or whatever, but if you’re reading this you want to stream from your PC to your Xbox. Do this using TVersity. Load the input file, set the output to whatever, choose what box you want to encode for, then hit the button and wait. It’ll open an MS-DOS shell window (black window with white text), don’t freak out. It’ll do this several times as it rips the video, rips the audio, compiles the video, filters the audio, then merges the two. It’ll take about 5-10 minutes for a 1 gb file, it’s output is almost 1:1, about ten meg bigger at the 1 GB+ mark, so remember to abuse MKV users for being absolute fuckwits.

Good luck, and enjoy that HDTV goodness. Remember to check out http://eztv.it to find awesome shows you already watch, but watch them well before you get them on TV and minus ad breaks. Piracy due to substandard TV broadcasters FTW. Oh, also, check out ‘V’, the reimagined series of the 1980′s sci fi thriller of reptillian aliens eating face and stuff. And come February, you’ve got Lost, House, and CAPRICA starting up. 2010 is going to be a good year for couch hounds. 🙂

Posted: January 7th, 2010
Categories: hack, walk through, xbox
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Wtf do I play Silent Hill?

Games are meant to be fun. Silent Hill: Homecoming is NOT fun. I dread playing further. I recall the character reading a note or some such suggesting the only solution is sitting in a room on your own in the dark. It’s good advice.

If the terror of seeing pyramid head stalking the same hall you’re in doesn’t make you want to, nothing will. Fuck your stupid little assinine brother who continuously fucks you around and screws about doing EVERYTHING possible to obstruct your attempts to rescue you. That being said it’s very stereotypical J-horror, even down to background sounds dimming before a ‘freak out’ scene.

It does score some psychological hits with my hardened westerner horror fan mind though, I really do dread playing further. I don’t want to, it’s not a fun game, it’s awkward and nasty and grimy.

Yet, as I sit here typing this on my iPhone ($500 product placement from Steve Jobs pls, cheques payable to BaSH PR0MPT is ORSM fund.) I can’t think of a more awesome game to recommend people play. Why expose people you care about to such nasty?

Because it’s better them than me?

Because it has an affect on you you barely fathom, as objective as you try to be the grime, the blood, the gore, the shock and freak out techniques you can clinically describe and predict still seem to gradually bare down on you.

There’s nothing positive to the game, I mean plot line and experience that is. There’s nothing but doom and gloom, it’s this that begins to wear you down, a challenge between how un-fun the game is compared to your gamer desire and urge to ‘beat the machine’ and finish it.

Well fuck this, Pyramid Head isn’t going to fire axe fuck his own head in, is he? Bbl.

Posted: January 3rd, 2010
Categories: games, pop culture, xbox, zombies
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Silent Hill: Homecoming Text Walkthrough

This is a full-text walkthrough of the 2008 survival-horror game Silent Hill: Homecoming. Outlined in this guide are step-by-step tactics to 100% completion of each map, item and weapon locations, boss battle strategies, fighting strategies for enemies, and how to obtain the extra outfits for Alex. Also included in this guide are instructions on how to obtain each of the game’s five endings, as well as an Achievements listing. This guide was ganked from somewhere, reformatted and in parts re-written by myself, the original was unreadable due to too many adverts, so I figured if I’m re-writing it for myself to read on my mobile while playing, I may as well copy paste it here for others. Enjoy!

Gameplay

The game begins with Alex Shepherd, the protagonist, recovering from battle injuries in a military hospital. Upon his discharge, he returns home to find his mother in shock and his father and brother missing. Shepherd is led to the small, deserted town of Silent Hill in search of his brother. As in prior releases, the character will be confronted with monsters and horrors that directly challenge his current psychological state.

Shepherd’s military background leads to enhanced combat skills that add depth to gameplay. Camera angles can now be maneuvered to allow players to see events and objects prior to their actual occurence.

Introduction

This guide is dedicated to 100% completion of Homecoming – complete with boss battle strategies, weapon locations, strategies for use against common enemies and a comprehensive list of Achievements. Details on unlocking all of Alex’s outfits and obtaining each of the game’s five endings are also listed in their respective sections, along with a step-by-step walkthrough for completing the game and collecting the secret weapons. The guide is broken into sections, with enemies encountered and current objectives listed along with tactics to use to defeat and complete each.

The guide assumes that you are on your first playthrough on NORMAL difficulty; the walkthrough can be used for HARD difficulty, but the monsters are stronger, tougher, and you find less ammunition – some ammo stashes may not exist on HARD that exist on NORMAL difficulty.

Controls

Left Thumbstick: Move, select a menu option
Right Thumbstick: Control the camera
Directional Pad (D-Pad): Cycle weapons; toggle flashlight; select menu option
Back Button: N/A
Start Button: Pause
Right Bumper (RB): Access Inventory Wheel
Left Bumper (LB): Access Weapon Wheel
Right Trigger (RT): Combat Stance
Left Trigger (LT): Fire/swing weapon
A Button: Fast attack; investigate; select highlighted menu option
Button: Defense; previous screen/return to Main Menu
X Button: Strong attack in Combat Stance; reload firearm
Y Button: View map

* NOTE: You can reconfigure the controls to better suit your tastes in the Options menu at the start of the game. This walkthrough assumes the default button configuration.
Overview

* Below are explanations on the basics of Silent Hill: Homecoming, and tips and tricks on using them. These sections are designed to help you to grow accustomed to the games controls, and with a little practice, will have you fighting demonic monstrosities and enjoying creepy scenarios in no time.

Map

The map is necessary to get around – some of the areas in this game are huge, and most of the Hellstates are confusing in their layout. To decipher the scribbles on your map, refer to the following list:

Red Double Arrows: Open doors
Red Curved Lines: locked or blocked doors
Blue Arrow: Alex’s current position
Red Scribble: Blocked area or impassible passage

Maps are detailed with room numbers (if applicable) and make getting around a snap. View the map with Y, and check the objectives by pressing X while viewing the map. You can’t view a map for an area you haven’t collected the map for, but you can still view objectives.

Combat

To initiate combat, hold down LT to enter Combat Stance. From this stance, you can swing melee weapons with A(Fast Attack) or X(Heavy Attack), dodge or block attacks with B, or (if you’re using a gun), shoot the gun with RT and reload with X. Due to recoil, dodging after an attack with a firearm takes longer to perform than dodging after a melee attack. Some weapons are fast (i.e. Combat Knife), but do little damage, while other weapons are slow (i.e. Fire Axe), but do a high damage. Find which weapons work best for which enemies for your personal play style.

Radio and Flashlight

Your radio and flashlight are essential for detecting monsters. The radio will emit static whenever an enemy is nearby – it also allows you to receive transmissions from Deputy Wheeler and Elle. Depending on which way the monster is oriented to your position, the static will fade and swell – when it’s at it’s loudest, you are facing the enemy. Your flashlight can be used to detect enemies in dark locations, but be warned – it attracts enemy attention as well.

Healing

To heal, you need to first collect Health Drinks and First Aid Kits. When you take damage, go into your Inventory menu (LB) and press X to use a Health Drink, or Y to use a First Aid Kit. First Aid Kits heal you by a larger amount than Health Drinks, so be wary about which you use. The little number on the icon for each tells you how many of that item are left in your inventory.

Context Scenarios

Sometimes, you’ll need to press a certain button with proper timing, or mash a button repeatedly in order to accomplish an action. These are Context Scenarios – the most common one is the Dialog Scenario. Dialog Scenarios occur at certain points in the game when Alex talks to certain characters – you’ll be given a choice of what to say to them, inciting different responses. Multiple playthroughs and selecting different options is the only way to fully explore the Dialog Scenario. Other examples of Context Scenarios include rapidly tapping a button during a Smog attack, or tapping buttons that appear during a boss fight to finish it off.

Journal

Your Journal (accessible from the Pause menu) gives you access to Clues, Manuals, Photos, and Drawings you’ve collected during your game.

1. Clues are anything you find written on a wall, or read in a document. If it’s important, it gets stored here for future reference.
2. Manuals teach you things about combat – before you find the Combat Knife, you’ll find a Basic Weapons Combat Manual. Reading through these teach you how to attack and defend with different weapons.
3. Photos are Polaroids that are scattered about the game world – collect them all for an Achievement.
4. Drawings are sketches and doodles of Josh’s that are scattered about the game world – collect them all for an Achievement.

Visible Achievements

These achievements are visible before completing them.

1. Lock ‘n’ Load: Found Rifle, 25 GP
2. Sightseeing: Found 1 Photo, 10 GP
3. Josh’s Gallery: Found ALL Photos, 50 GP
4. Alchemilla’s Finest: Defeated 1 Nurse, 10 GP
5. Eddie’s Legacy: Defeated 1 Feral, 10 GP
6. Lurk No More: Defeated 1 Lurker, 10 GP
7. To The Point: Defeated 1 Needler, 10 GP
8. Split Personality: Defeated 1 Schism, 10 GP
9. Shades of James: Defeated 1 Siam, 20 GP
10. Clear the Air: Defeated 1 Smog, 10 GP
11. Creeper Reaper: Defeated 1 Swarm, 10 GP
12. Out of Order: Defeated 1 Order member, 10 GP
13. Kaufmann’s Handiwork: Found 1 Serum, 10 GP
14. Health Junkie: Found ALL Serums, 50 GP
15. The Old Gods… …Haven’t Left This Place. Complete game on HARD difficulty, 100 GP
16. Nursery Rhymes: Found ALL the Children’s Drawings, 50 GP

Secret Achievements

* These achievements aren’t visible until you complete them.

1. Six Feet Under: Defeated Sepulcher, 20 GP
2. Blood Donor: Defeated Scarlet, 20 GP
3. Catch Your Breath: Defeated Asphyxia, 20 GP
4. Head Above Water: Defeated Amnion, 20 GP
5. Rising Tension: Found Circular Saw, 25 GP
6. Science Fiction: Found Laser Pistol, 25 GP
7. Smile: Achieved Ending 1, 50 GP
8. In Water: Achieved Ending 2, 50 GP
9. Judgment: Achieved Ending 3, 50 GP
10. Intensive Care: Achieved Ending 4, 50 GP
11. No Dogs Allowed: Achieved Ending 5, 50 GP
12. Mercy: Alex ended his mother’s suffering, 50 GP
13. Compassion: Alex could not end his mother’s suffering, 50 GP
14. Forgiveness: Alex forgives his father, 50 GP
15. Angela’s Choice: Alex does not forgive his father, 50 GP
16. Now About Those Drinks: Saved Wheeler, 25 GP

Chapter One – Nightmare

1. Escape from the hospital
2. Follow Joshua
3. Find Joshua’s Toy

* CUTSCENE: Alex is wheeled through what appears to be a dilapidated hospital, strapped to a gurney. As he is rolled down the hallway, scenes of torture jump at him from the open doors to either side. Finally, he’s wheeled into a room and left, where he witnesses through the door’s windows a doctor being impaled by a large blade.

You’ll come across your first Context Scenario – mash A repeatedly to break free of the gurney straps and gain control of Alex. You can examine the memo by the double doors by pressing A when standing close to it – you can also examine the sink at the back of the room, though no context clue displays. The door to the stairwell is locked – the only unlocked exit is the double doors through which you witnessed the death of the doctor earlier, so head through them to the Operating Room.

The doctor’s body is gone, and there are bloody drag marks leading through the door on your right. Go through them, and check on the right for another cryptic bulletin. To your left is a barred door with a keypad next to it. Walk towards the door.

* CUTSCENE: Alex believes the child on the other side of the barred door is Josh, his kid brother.

The door is locked – it needs a keypad combination to unlock it. Head through the door to your right closest to the keypad and examine the picture in the back to find a map of the Hospital. From this point, directions are given based on the map’s compass – up being north, down being south, and so forth. You’ll currently be in the Nurse Center. Behind you on the X-ray display are the first three digits of the keypad code, scratched into an x-ray.

Go to room 203 – the rest of the rooms are blocked, or the locks are broken. Inside you’ll find a Health Drink and a page from an incident report. Examine the burned Child’s Doll incubator, then head over to the broken window and press A to hop over into room 204.

Inside room 204 you’ll find a Basic Weapons Combat manual, which can be accessed again later by selecting Journal in the Pause Menu. There’s also X-Ray Film on the board to the left – take it, and head back through the window to room 203. Head back into the hallway, and enjoy the spoof scare on your way back to the Nurse Center.

Once back in the Nurse Center, press LB to bring up your Inventory, and select the X-Ray Film to place it on the board next to the first one – the remaining three digits appear, and you can see the full code to use to open the keypad-locked door. Go enter the code to open the door (it was 624872 in my game). The door unlocks – head through it.

* CUTSCENE: Josh rises and runs to a door, entering it before Alex can comprehend what’s happening.

Walk forward to collect the Child’s Drawing, which you can look at later using your Journal if you like. The door that Josh went through (which leads to the Men’s Restroom, incidentally) is the only unlocked door here, so don’t worry about missing anything by not exploring – there’s nowhere else to go for now. Head after him, and a short cutscene of Josh running into the storage room for the restrooms will play, and you’ll see an odd symbol on the wall before he slams the door.

Go into the storage room to the strange symbol, and examine it – these symbols are your Save Points. Save your game, and continue North in the storage room to the door leading to the Women’s Restroom. When you enter, try the stalls – take note that the one closest to the storage room is locked. There’s a Combat Knife stuck in the mirror – retrieve it to trigger a cutscene.

* CUTSCENE: A fluorescent light falls, and the room transitions to a hellish version – the “Hellstate” version – when a Nurse exits the locked stall, wielding a scalpel.

Use simple combos to take the Nurse down – tap A three times, then X to perform a spinning slash attack with the Combat Knife. When she falls, you’ll receive the Alchemilla’s Finest Achievement.

Both of the doors out of the room have broken locks – check the last stall to find a hole. Press A to squeeze through into the Men’s Restroom. There’s a First Aid Kit on the wall by the door into the room where you first met Josh – take it, and head South to the stairwell – the other doors are locked or broken. As soon as you enter, Josh pushes a wheelchair down the stairs at you – ignore him for a minute and head over to the note taped to the wall across from the doorway to learn what one patient thought about staying safe – sitting in the dark and staying quiet. Head upstairs.

There’s a window you can break, and a door you don’t need to bother checking – the lock’s broken. Bust out the window, and hop over into the Day Room. Defeat the two Nurses here, and use A to cut a gash in the fleshy wall blocking the path into room 303. You’ll need to tap A repeatedly, then squeeze through into 303 and save your game. There’s a cryptic note on the bed by the Save Point.

Go into the hallway and head towards the Linen Room – a cutscene will play of the Swarm bugs crawling through a hole underneath the gurney to attack you. Run into the Linen Room, and take advantage of the Context Scenario to defeat the Swarms – press B when one lands on you, and tap the button that displays repeatedly to throw it to the ground and crush it. Grab the Health Drink on the shelf in the lower-left corner of the Linen Room, then head out of the upper-right door and go South to find a photo of Joshua’s Robbie the Rabbit doll on a broken table near the bathrooms, and unlock the Sightseeing Achievement. This photo is also accessible from your Journal in the Pause Menu.

Head North to the Operating Theatre, and grab the patient’s chart from the rack that details Dr. Copen’s ability to perform electroshock therapy. Head around, then down the stairs to the lower-level balcony, and walk around until you see the “drop down” option. Take a look first – you’ll be fighting some more Nurses. Drop down, wipe out the three Nurses with some quick combos, and take in the atmosphere created by a decapitated body torn in half. Examine the double doors to see that they are chained shut – a key will be needed to get into the Operating Room. Head East to the stairwell door and cut it open.

Back on the third floor, there’s a body laying on the gurney when you first reach the top of the stairs – examine it to discover it’s the other half of the body from downstairs. Take the Operating Theater Key from his cold, dead hands, and head back downstairs to the Operating Room doors and use the Operating Theater Key to remove the padlock.

Examine the document in the lower-left corner of the Operating Room to learn about one doctor’s attitude towards his patients. Head out of the West door to trigger a Dialogue moment – Josh is busy drawing rabbits again. Ask him Y button questions to learn that he wants his toy, Robbie the Rabbit. Head into the Nurse Center to find a Health Drink and a Save Point – grab the drink and save the game. There’s a document on the desk in the bottom-right corner about a missing patient in 205. Ignore it for now, and head south.

Enter room 203 to watch Robbie the Rabbit get sucked through the window to room 204. Examine the hole, and press A to reach inside it. Alex will reach in, and something will grab him – tap B repeatedly to retrieve your arm and the Robbie toy. Once you retrieve the toy, watch out for the Swarm that appears. Head back to the Nurse Center, save, and then give Josh the Robbie toy.

* CUTSCENE: Josh makes as if to grab the toy, but then runs off down the hallway into an elevator. The door blocking Alex opens.

Grab the Child’s Drawing on the ground before heading down the hall. Head to room 206, and take the next Child’s Drawing on the door. Examine it, and Alex swears he can hear the ocean just beyond it. Head to the elevator, and use the button to the left of the door to call the elevator.

* CUTSCENE: As Alex descends, he hears metal scraping. He walks towards the elevator doors, and is stabbed by a huge blade – only to awaken in the cab of a semi, on his way to Shepherd’s Glen.

Chapter Two – Missing Persons

Chapter Two Objectives

1. I need to go home.
2. Look for a way to fill the gas can.
3. Drain the water in the basement.
4. Joshua isn’t at home. Search the rest of the town.
5. Search the graveyard and nearby sections of the town for information on Joshua’s disappearance.
6. Find someone who knows something about fixing guns.

Shepherd’s Glen

* CUTSCENE: The trucker drops him off, and Alex makes his way towards his house.

You’ll find it difficult to head back toward the West side of town – it’s not possible. Head toward Craven Ave., and don’t bother trying the side streets or doors yet – they’re blocked and locked. You’ll trigger a cutscene where you met Judge Holloway, who talks to you for a bit and suggests you go to visit your mother.

Head on into the Town Hall building and go to the center room to find a photo of Judge Holloway and Alex’s mom talking. Head to the far right of the building and examine the case on the table to collect Serum and obtain Kaufmann’s Handiwork Achievement. Head towards the back of Town Hall to find Judge Holloway, and start a conversation with her. Ask her about the town, and Elle, and explore the room a bit. Head to the room adjacent to Judge Holloway’s to find a Health Drink and a Save Point. Save your game, then head back out to Craven Ave. – take the right-hand path when leaving and take note of the boarded door; with a different weapon, you can hack those boards up and enter that room.

Go South on Craven Ave. to find a huge fissure blocking the path. Go north, and head to Alex’s house. Head left towards the garage and duck under the wall, head down the path, and duck under the next wall to find yourself in the Park – there’s a Child’s Drawing to collect, as well as a photo of a spider and some army toys. Head back to the house and go in through the front door.


Alex’s House

Head upstairs and take the first left to enter Alex and Josh’s room – there’s a Flashlight on the bottom bunk. The bookshelf in the back has a secret – move all the books left to reveal a switch, which opens into a secret room containing a map of Alex’s house drawn by Josh. Head back towards the stairs and through the double doors, to find Alex’s parent’s bedroom; head through the door to find a Cassette Tape with no label in the bathroom. There’s a letter to Alex’s dad from Alex’s mom sitting on the dresser by the door.

Head back downstairs to trigger a cutscene.

* CUTSCENE: Alex sees his mom, who’s in a near-catatonic state. He asks about Josh, and she tells him that everybody is gone. He notices that she has a gun in her lap, and he asks what happened, but she only tells him that she misses Josh. Alex sneaks the gun off her lap, and tells her he’ll find Josh. A cry emanates from the basement, and Alex goes to investigate.

Alex’s House, Basement

Follow the water trail to the door leading to the basement, and head downstairs. A cutscene will play that introduces you to Lurkers – defeat it to earn the Lurk no More Achievement. Check the pump by the stairs to get the Garage Remote and read the note to find that you’ll need gas from the garage to operate the pump.

Head to the area marked “SECRET” on the map and cut through the camouflage curtain to find a door – examine it to watch a disturbing scene. It’s locked, so go back upstairs.

Shepherd’s Glen

Go outside to the garage, open your Inventory, and use the Garage Remote to open the door, which releases a Lurker. Defeat it, and enter the garage. You’ll find a Steel Pipe to the left; equip it, then use it to pry open the cabinet at the back to obtain the Empty Gas Can. Read the pamphlet to the right to find another Combat Training Manual.

Head back outside and through the small holes by the barn to get into the Park again, and head to the gate at the South side. Pry this gate with your new Steel Pipe, and look for the semi truck on your left as you progress. Kill the Lurker that’s here, and examine the semi – you can fill up the Empty Gas Can. Go into your inventory to use it, and you’ll get the Full Gas Can. Go back to the basement.

Use the Full Gas Can on the pump and examine the door to the backyard to unlock it. Head through the door into the backyard – collect the Child’s Drawing by the tree house, and examine the backpack on the back fence gate to find a photo of Alex’s dad’s hunting room (the locked room in the “SECRET” portion of your map). Head up the back porch and enter the house.

Alex’s House

Look in the fridge to get a Health Drink, and use the Cassette Tape on the answering machine to listen to an interrupted radio show Alex and Josh made a while back. Head through the East door, and read the note by the phone – Alex’s dad’s name is Adam, and he’s supposed to ask a man named Curtis about an engine. Head back to the backyard and go through the back fence gate.

Rose Heights Cemetery

Walk South and you’ll come across a municipal access gate – follow the path into the Rose Heights Cemetery. You’ll find the Rose Heights Cemetery map in the first room you come across, the Old Crypts room. From here, go to the East Garden room. You’ll trigger a short cutscene of a man digging a grave. Head left from where he is and jump down to trigger a cutscene.

* CUTSCENE: Alex is attacked by a Feral – a hideous, skinless dog.

Defeat the Feral to obtain the Eddie’s Legacy Achievement. Take the Odd Stone Plate from the busted fountain, and climb up out of the pit (it’s underneath the word “East” on the Cemetery map).

There’s a Health Drink in the small gazebo by the gate with vines – grab it, and rattle the gate to the Bartlett Family Mausoleum to learn that it’s locked.

Go down the path for Family Crypts North, to the third box on the bottom (from the map view), and squeeze through the hole to find yourself in Family Crypts Mid. Head East one room and check the North crypt for a Health Drink. Head due South from there into another crypt and duck under the hole by the displaced grave due East to get through, and squeeze through the hole in the Southern crypt to exit Family Crypts Mid and arrive in Founders Row.

Go through the southern-most gate and hop down to the lower level, then duck under and climb up to be just outside of the Founders Garden. There’s nothing here, so just head on through and go up the stairs to the West Garden.

Here you’ll find two plaques that talk about reuniting two things to make something whole and reveal the way – there’s also a Strange Stone Plate to grab. Head up the middle path to the gate and place the Odd Stone Plate and the Strange Stone Plate to open it and head to the Front Entrance – follow this around and you’ll find yourself on the other side of the impassable section of road where the trucker first dropped you off in Shepherd’s Glen.

Shepherd’s Glen

Head down Main Street past the S.G.P.D. to trigger a cutscene.

* CUTSCENE: Alex meets up with Elle, and they talk. Alex asks Elle if she’s seen Josh, and she tells him about the people who keep disappearing in Shepherd’s Glen. She gives Alex a Walkie Talkie.

You receive the Walkie Talkie from Elle – it’ll give you a heads up when enemies are nearby. Head South on River View and take the bridge West. Read the sign over the door for a chuckle, and open the door to enter the junkyard.

Junkyard

Dunk under the gap in the fence and head up and around the building. Stay on the outskirts of the path and wind your way around the building to an entrance with a hole you can squeeze through. You’ll come out on the other side of the junk from the entrance. Head into the building. It starts a Dialog Scenario. Talk to him to find out that Mayor Bartlett is the guy digging up graves in the Cemetery. He’ll give you the MK 23 Handgun. There’s some Pistol Ammunition behind the counter, and a Combat Training Manual on basic ranged combat on the toolbox. Head into the back room to find the Junkyard Map, a Health Drink in the broken fridge, and more Pistol Ammunition in the standup toolbox in the corner. There’s also a Save Point, so save your game, then head out the door next to it.

Exit the Junkyard, and be wary of the Feral that appears once you duck under the gap in the fence.

Shepherd’s Glen

Head back across the bridge to trigger a cutscene.

* CUTSCENE: Alex gets a radio transmission that’s garbled, and begins to cough on noxious fumes as a Smog attacks.

Defeat the smog using well-timed combos, avoiding the fumes by using B. If you do get surrounded with fumes, tap B repeatedly. Once you defeat the Smog you’ll obtain the Clean the Air Achievement.

Rose Heights Cemetery

Head back to the Cemetery, defeating the Ferals you encounter along the way. A Smog will be waiting in the Founders Garden – you can avoid fighting it if you’d like.

Go back to the entrance of the Bartlett Family Mausoleum – it’s open now. Head into the crypt. You’ll encounter a puzzle holding a child’s coffin closed.

* Child’s Coffin Puzzle

To unlock the coffin, the top piece must be pulled free – clear out the pieces from below it so that it can come all the way down. There are six pieces – two squares, two horizontal rectangles, and two vertical rectangles. Place both of the horizontal pieces in the top right, the two square pieces in the bottom left (forming another vertical rectangle), and a vertical piece on either side of the path the top piece must follow to unlock the coffin. Pull it all the way down to trigger a cutscene.

* CUTSCENE: The coffin slides open, revealing a watch. Alex takes it, reading the inscription on the back. He holds it up to his ear to see if it still runs, but falls unconscious, and awakens in Silent Hill. Josh runs across his field of vision when he awakens, and takes refuges in a hotel – the entrance to which is blocked by boards Alex can’t get through.

Chapter Three – Hotel

Chapter Three Objectives

1. Catch up to Joshua.
2. Power has been restored. Use the elevator.
3. Room 306 has a unique lock. Find a way to open it.
4. Find three memories for the lady in room 301.
5. Use the key from the lady in room 301.

Silent Hill

Josh ran into the Hotel, which is boarded – you can see him, but you can’t get in there. There’s only one available path – down the alley by the building with the sparking wire out front. There’s a Smog back here, so defeat it, then climb down the embankment. Head to the vehicle, duck under it, and claim the Fire Axe (a personal favorite). Head back to the Hotel and hack down the boards to gain entry – Josh is gone, of course. Enter the Hotel.

Grand Hotel

Down the first path on the right is a Health Drink and a locked door. All four of the doors here are locked, so continue to the lobby, and check behind the counter for the Grand Hotel Map. Check the map now – the only path that isn’t blocked or locked is directly West from the hall you started in. Head there, and jump across the gap.

Check the toolbox for a Maintenance Key, then jump over the gap back into the lobby. Head back out the way you got in, and you’ll be on Simmons St. – the Grand Hotel map also tells you what buildings are outside.

Silent Hill

There’s a locked gate in the alley West of the Grand Hotel – use the Maintenance Key to open it. There’s a Smog out here, as well – circle him until he attacks, and combo his back, rolling backwards (hold down on the Left Thumbstick and tap B) to avoid his counter-attack. Take the Health Drink on the windowsill, and say hello to the Grand Hotel Wiring Puzzle.

* Grand Hotel Wiring Puzzle

There are five wires in the circuit box outside, each connected at the top in this order – yellow, white, purple, blue, and green. To rewire the box, you select a wire with A and select which of the five locations at the bottom that wire runs to. The correct way to do it is (from left to right) – white, yellow, blue, purple, green. This causes the lights to come on in the Grand Hotel, so it’s time to go back in.

Grand Hotel

Once back inside the Grand Hotel, walk up to the elevator area and use the button just outside the door to call the elevator – there’s some Pistol Ammunition inside. Use the buttons inside the elevator to head to the fifth floor – it’s the only one that works.

* CUTSCENE: The elevator makes horrendous straining noises, and a Needler appears.

The Needler here is a pain – it’s able to hit you through the hole it gouges in the elevator, but hitting it back with the Fire Axe or Steel Pipe is difficult. I’d suggest equipping the Mk 23 Handgun and shooting it – you’ll obtain the To the Point Achievement for knocking it off the elevator the first time – it keeps attacking for a while. When it’s finally finished off, the elevator resumes it’s climb, then drops down to just below the 3rd floor – you’ll need to climb up.

A little aside – the map says “3rd FLOOR”. Every path is blocked but one – examine the painting to the South to decide there’s something behind it, then equip your Combat Knife and cut it. Squeeze through and you’ll find a door with a photo of Joey Bartlett in the tree house. The door is locked – trying to open it makes it appear on your map as room 306. Duck under the gap into room 302 to save your game.

Head into the hallway to trigger a Dialog Scenario – ask the voice who she is, how she got there, and agree to help her. In room 303 you’ll find a cryptic message, and in 304 you’ll find a document about the Atrium. Go to the center of the 3rd floor and South to find a passage – squeeze through, then duck under the gap, to find yourself in room 307. There’s a message for you in room 308 about room 405. Head into the hall way and to the East of room 309 – there’s some boards you can hack through. Inside, you’ll find rubble stable enough to climb up through the hole in the roof – do so.

You’ll wind up in room 408. A hole leads into room 406, which contains a note to Carol. Since everything else is blocked or broken, head to room 402, defeating the Nurse you encounter. There’s a dresser in here that you can push – do so, and enter room 404.

Check in the bathroom to collect the Alchemilla Postcard, one of the memories belonging to the voice on the 3rd floor. Head back to room 406 to trigger a cutscene.

* CUTSCENE: Alex gets a look at Pyramid Head – the wielder of the blade that impaled the doctor in his dream, and himself.

Swarms will attack, and the door to room 405 will be open – head in. Go through the hole leading into room 407 and back into the hallway where you just saw Pyramid Head (according to fans of the series, this is his unofficially proper name, though in Homecoming he’s referred to as “Boogeyman”. For the purposes of this guide, for the fans, I’ll still call him Pyramid Head). Hack your way into the bathroom of room 408 to find another Serum, and then hack through the hole in the upper right corner to gain access to the stairwell.

Head upstairs, jump across the gap, and say hello to the 5th floor. As soon as you get here, a cutscene triggers.

* CUTSCENE: A Needler attacks Alex, who doesn’t like the look of things…

Defeat the Needler by dodging it’s attacks – when you see it raise one of it’s legs, be ready to tap B. After you dodge, counter-attack, and retreat. Keep up the pattern until it falls.

TIP: Don’t attack the Needler from the front – it can block your attacks.

After you defeat the Needler, jump across the gap to the South to collect a Health Drink. Then, head back down the hallway to room 508 to find a note about Carol’s affair, as well as Swarms and a giant hole. Exit, then hack your way into room 505, and push the dresser over to get into room 507. There’s a note about the Mayor’s odd habits on the dresser in here, a Health Drink on the sink in the bathroom, and the Lakeside Amusement Park Postcard on the bed, another memory of the lady downstairs. Head back into the hallway, and you’ll find another Needler. Take him down just like the other one, and hack your way into room 504.

There’s some Pistol Ammunition on the bed in room 504. You can duck under a gap in the wall to the bathroom of room 503, inside which you’ll find a hole back down into the 4th floor – room 403, to be precise.

Head into the bathroom to find a Toluca Lake Postcard, the last memory you need for the lady in room 301. You need to head back there now, and you’ll encounter some Needlers, Nurses, and a Smog along the way. Needlers can be beaten easily with the Fire Axe, but Nurses are quick, so use the Combat Knife – just avoid the Smog, it’s slow enough.

Once you reach room 301, press A to reach in and give the lady the three postcards – she’ll give you the Strange Key. Wonder what it goes to…head back into room 302, and save your game.

After you save, squeeze through back into the room with the locked door leading to room 306. Use the Strange Key to unlock it, and jump across the gap to get to Josh – and trigger a cutscene.

* CUTSCENE: Alex doesn’t quite make it, and falls through the gap, catching the edge with his arms. Josh looks on as Alex loses his grip and falls all the way to the ground floor.

There’s a Health Drink and Pistol Ammunition on a table by your starting location. You can only carry two spare clips – the numbers on the gun will say 9/18, one clip loaded and two spare. Unless you’ve been using the Mk 23 Handgun, you should already be full on ammo. Take advantage of the Save Point on the East wall, and head south through the doors into the Atrium – there you’ll find the doors locked. Feast your eyes on the glory of real-time Hellstate transitions, then head through the southern-most doors.

You’ll find Mayor Bartlett, who’s apparently done digging up graves for now. You’ll have a Dialog Scenario – Y options are nicer, more polite, with X options being more forceful.

* CUTSCENE: Alex shows the Mayor the broken watch, and Mayor Bartlett gives Alex some cryptic messages before being killed by a huge monster.

BOSS: Sepulcher

To kill this boss, hide behind the dressers and equip the Mk 23 Handgun – use it to shoot the four meat sacs hanging from the ceiling. Three shots per sac will destroy them, which causes the monster to drop to the ground.

Equip the Fire Axe, and dodge his attacks until he slams a fist into the ground with enough force to get it stuck. Hit it with the Fire Axe, and it’ll fall on its face. Use heavy attacks on its head until it rises. Do this twice, and when you see the X context clue pop up, hit it to finish off Sepulcher, earning the Six Feet Under Achievement.

* CUTSCENE: With Sepulcher defeated, a hole opens up and swallows the monstrosity. Alex, weary from the battle, peeks over into the abyss, only to faint and fall down into it as well. He awakens in a prison cell, back in Shepherd’s Glen.

Chapter Four – Sheriff’s Station

Chapter Four Objectives

1. Follow Deputy Wheeler through the station.
2. Escape the station and meet up with Elle.

S.G.P.D.

You start with no weapons, no items, and your radio and flashlight are missing. Walk around, check the cell doors, and a cutscene will play.

* CUTSCENE: A light comes on, and Deputy Wheeler, who demands answers, holds Alex at gunpoint.

Another Dialog Scenario occurs – tell the truth by selecting the A answers to get out of the cell and earn Wheeler’s trust. He’ll release you from the cell, so follow him. Eventually, he’ll lead you into a room with a Save Point, and tell you that you need to find Doctor Fitch. Save your game, and follow Wheeler down the hallway.

* CUTSCENE: A new kind of enemy appears, and Wheeler holds them at bay to give Alex a chance to find and equip his gear.

Run back down the hallway, and when an enemy breaks down the door on your right, dodge past it into the room to find a photo of Wheeler and Adam. Then, head further down the hall, and take the door on the left. Walk forward and enter the first door on the left to reclaim your gear.

* CUTSCENE: Elle calls Alex as he grabs his stuff, and tells him that she’s being chased and is on her way to the Police Station. Alex tells her to head to the parking lot behind the building, and Wheeler gives him a shotgun.

You’ll obtain the 12 Gauge Shotgun. Equip it, and take the Station Map. When you exit, a cutscene will play with another enemy destroying the ceiling and blocking your path back to the hallway you came from. Use your Fire Axe to hack down the barricade, and you’ll face more enemies like the one Wheeler was shooting at – Schisms. There are four just here, so use your Shotgun to take down the first two, and the Mk 23 Handgun to take out the last two. Check the bathrooms, and then hop over the ledge into the room South of the Lobby to find a Health Drink.

Head east, and duck under into the Briefing Room – you’ll encounter two more Schisms here. There’s some Shotgun Ammunition in the Southwest corner of the room. Use the Fire Axe to hack through the barricade leading East, and South into the Garage. Kill the Schism here, and enter the room with the TV – flip the switch on the back wall to cause the garage door to lift up enough to duck under.

Once you get outside, a cutscene of Elle getting into a squad car to avoid a Siam will play. When it finishes, you’ll find yourself face-to-face with it. It’s not that difficult to beat – dodge it’s attacks, and slice it with the Fire Axe. It’ll attempt to counter-attack from time to time, so stay ready to dodge at any moment. When it’s defeated, a cutscene will play, and you’ll obtain the Shades of James Achievement.

* CUTSCENE: Elle crawls out of the cruiser and escapes with Alex to the sewers, avoiding a swarm of Schisms just in time. With a few moments to rest, Alex learns that Elle’s sister, Nora, disappeared at the beginning of everything. He promises to find Nora for her, and they continue.
Chapter Five Objectives

1. Keep Elle Safe.
2. Find a way out of the sewers.

Sewers

Head forward, and you’ll find a grate with a valve by it. Rotate it by pressing A repeatedly, and Elle will slip through and hold the gate open for you. Head forward and left, and climb up onto the ledge. Follow the path around. Step down into the water, and watch out for the Lurkers. Follow the path to the next place to climb up, and grab two boxes of Pistol Ammunition off the top of the propane tank at the end of the area.

Step down into the next path, and equip the Steel Pipe. Climb up on the left ledge and use the pipe to pry open the fence gate, and rotate the handle – you’ll see water being drained from somewhere. Head further down the tunnel to find another ledge – climb up it, and walk forward to use the Save Point. The room behind it contains the Sewer Map, and a box of Shotgun Ammunition.

Take a look at your map to familiarize yourself with where you’ve been – you started at the far left Gate, and entered through Gate 13 into Gate 4. You went left from Gate 4, and used the Bilge Control Valve to drain water out of the Bilge Tank. Gate 12 is the bricked up gate you saw at the last ledge.

Head to the Bilge Tank area, climb down, cross it, and climb back up. Head down to Gate 8, taking the East tunnel dead end to collect a Health Drink. Open Gate 8, and then head back to Gate 4, avoiding or defeating the enemies along the way. Elle will open Gate 4, so duck under and start towards Sluice Drain. Stop in at the offshoot to the right to grab some Shotgun Ammunition. Defeat the two Needlers you encounter, and climb up the ledge and down the ladder to the Sluice Drain. Head across the bridge to the Spillway.

There’s a Lurker in the water, so defeat it so Elle can cross the Spillway. When you climb up on the far side, climb up the ladder. Pull the lever, kill the Needler, and head to the far West end to collect a box of Pistol Ammunition and Shotgun Ammunition. Head out of the East door, and North to drop down. There’s a Save Point in the room to the East, so save your game, then head towards the Main Drain Chamber.

When you arrive at the Main Drain Chamber, head to Gate 15, and open it using the valve. Elle tells you there’s no way to open it from her side, and you’ll have to face off against three Needlers – use the Combat Knife to slice them until they go on the defensive and back away from you, then shoot them in the head with the Mk 23 Handgun. Alternatively, you can finish them off with the Mk 23 Handgun. When they’re defeated, you have to face off against a Siam – use the same tactics as the first one you defeated.

When Siam is beaten, Gate 15 opens. Walk down the tunnel, climbing up the left-hand ledge to grab a photo of Nora Holloway. You’ll spot Elle’s radio, sitting in a pile of blood – follow the trail to the ladder and climb up.

* CUTSCENE: Alex climbs up out of the manhole right in front of his house.

Shepherd’s Glen

There’s barbed wire covering your door, so don’t bother trying to go back home. Instead, follow Wheeler’s advice from the Police Station and try to get to Dr. Fitch’s – it’s off Main St. Walk towards Main St. to get a radio call from Wheeler, who’s on his way to Fitch’s office. Alex agrees to meet him there, and marks the location on his map – guess where you need to go?

When you get on Main St., a cutscene plays of Alex finding Dr. Fitch leaving bloody footprints and carrying a well-used scalpel around. He flees from you back into his office, so follow him on in.

Dr. Fitch’s Office

Look in the reception area to find a Health Drink, then walk down the hallway to the last door on the right – you’ll find a photo of Scarlet Fitch, and a locked case on a dresser. When you leave the room, Nurses appear – use the Combat Knife to combo them to death, and you’ll notice the door that’s now open. Enter the room.

Inside the room you’ll find a Serum, a Small Key, and a document to Dr. Fitch from the Psychiatric Department of Alchemilla Hospital. Use the Small Key on the case on the little girl’s dresser to trigger a cutscene.

Chapter Six – Hell Descent

Chapter Six Objectives

1. Investigate the area.
2. Find Joshua.

* CUTSCENE: Alex finds a creepy doll, that ages and decays in seconds – he then faints, and reawakens in a Hellstate.

You’ll obtain Scarlet’s Doll. Head down the narrow path to your left and climb down to find Josh. He’ll run to your right, but you won’t catch him – besides, it dead-ends. Head left instead, down the stairs, and take the first right path and jump across. Tap A repeatedly to remedy the failed leap across, and head left.

Jump across into the hole, then across the broken fan. There’s a doll to your right that instigates a fight with a Smog – leave it alone and drop down into the hole. You’ll fight Swarms, and find a box of Pistol Ammunition. Drop down the next area, and continue forward – you’ll see a sign that says “Staff only beyond this point”. You’ll come to a wide gap to jump across, so do so and climb the stairs beyond.

When you reach the top of the stairs, keep an eye out left for an area to drop down. Head up the stairs to find a Health Drink, then head back down them. As you descend the stairs, you’ll see Josh run by – go to where he started to find a Child’s Drawing. There’s a Smog down here, as well, so defeat or avoid it and continue towards where Josh ran off to. Jump across to the path, then head left and drop down.

Head down the narrow path and climb down the ladder. Head left and drop down, and jump across the lava gap. You’ll see a cage, and a place to step down on your right – do so, and climb down the ladder. You’ll find some pipes you can squeeze through, and a fan to duck under. Behind the fan is the Crowbar(which replaces the Steel Pipe), so grab it and head back to where you first dropped down. There’s another place to jump across – do so now.

Step down, then climb down the ladder – you’ll see a spinning fan to your left. Pull the lever on the wall to stop the fan, then duck under it to continue forward. Drop down at the end of the stairs, and turn around to find a fan you can duck under – and catch a glimpse of Josh, running away from you, again. As soon as you duck under the fan, there’s a Child’s Drawing for you to collect.

Head to your right, then left, and you’ll run up to three fans – two spinning, one broken. Duck under the broken one to find two doors, one of which is locked. The other must be cut open with your Combat Knife. Squeeze through to find a lever that’ll stop the spinning fan to your left. Pull it, and duck under the fan, then drop down the hole made by the other stopped fan.

Follow the path around to find the Fan Puzzle.

* Fan Puzzle

There are six fans, labeled 1 through 6. The lever for fan 1 is broken, and no fan that is already on can be turned on. You switch power from one fan to another, so go ahead and duck under fan 3 and 2 and grab the Serum before you start. Head to the right side and switch power from fan 5 to fan 4, then switch power from 4 to 3, then from 3 to 2. Then, switch power from fan 6 to fan 5, then from 5 to 4, then from 4 to 3. This clears a line of fans to duck under to get to the area behind the broken Exit door.

Climb down the ladder and use the Save Point to save your game. Climb down the next ladder, and you’ll see Josh run away from you – follow him. A path will materialize in the wall that looks like a hallway, and the lights will cut off – head down the hallway. At the end of it, you’ll see an industrial door that you must open. Dr. Fitch awaits just inside – talk to him with the Dialog Scenario, and give him the doll when the option appears – he’ll begin bleeding profusely, and a giant monster will appear from his blood, holding him. Fitch asks it to forgive him, and it bites his head off – so is the boss Scarlet introduced.

BOSS: Scarlet

Whack the monster’s legs until they crack and break – it’ll fall, giving you a chance to smash its arms. When all of its limbs are maimed, you’ll see the X context clue appear – tap it, then press A repeatedly to mangle the monster. It’ll reform as a spider.

Stay back from it when it becomes a spider, and it’ll crawl up the walls to the roof. A scream notifies you that it’s ready to pounce – tap B when it appears to dodge it. It’ll fall to the ground – run up and stab it with X. Three times will destroy it, and give you the Blood Donor Achievement.

* CUTSCENE: As Alex pulls the crowbar from the monstrosity, a key flies out. He suddenly is jerked through the pool of blood, back into the normal version of Dr. Fitch’s office. He finds the key there.

Chapter Seven – Town Hall

Chapter Seven Objectives

1. Explore the Town Hall.

* You’ll get the Founders Key. You’ll need to head to the Town Hall from here.

Shepherd’s Glen

Run straight to the Town Hall to avoid taking any unnecessary damage, and enter. Aren’t you glad we already went through here?

Town Hall

You’ll find a Smog blocking the left-hand hallway – head down the right one and enter the Save Point room to save your game. From there, hack open the door in the left-hand hallway to find a picture of Alex’s ancestor. Push the bookshelf over and grab the Child’s Drawing on the wall. Enter the middle room and use the key on the Cross keyhole in the pedestal to open a path underground. Follow it, and defeat the Nurses that appear.

There are four books in this room – read through them, then examine the cross to obtain the Ceremonial Dagger. A flashback informs you that it’s the key to open Adam’s door in the “SECRET” section of Alex’s basement. Use the dagger to unlock the door between the two books across from the entrance, and follow the tunnel until you find a ladder. Use it, and you’ll find another door to use the Ceremonial Dagger on to unlock. When you open it, you’ll find yourself back in Founders Garden of the Rose Heights Cemetery.

Rose Heights Cemetery

Walk over to the door across from where you are and unlock it to find another Serum. There’s a Health Drink in the furthest upper left corner of the Founders Garden area. Head back to the Founders Row, duck into the gap and follow the newly opened path. At the end of the hall behind the two Smogs are a box of Shotgun Ammunition, and a First Aid Kit. Duck into the next gap and climb up. Head back through the Crypts, using the Fire Axe to hack open the boarded entrance in Family Crypts North to obtain the Chrome Hammer Pistol. There’s also a Save Point in Family Crypts North, so save your game.

Continue backtracking to your backyard, avoiding the Smogs when possible.

Alex’s House

First, head in through the backdoor and use the Fire Axe to break down the barricade on the door to the dining room, and collect the First Aid Kit there. Then, head back outside and enter the basement through the backyard entrance.

Head to the “SECRET” area on your map and use the Ceremonial Dagger to unlock Adam’s Hunting Room. There’s a Bluesteel Shotgun in here, and the Attic Key, so grab them. Head upstairs to the attic, and unlock the door with the Attic Key. Head through the door into the attic. Check the North section for a photo of Alex. Push the bookshelf over to find a door.

* CUTSCENE: Alex has a vision of Adam giving Joshua an important ring, and making him swear to never show it to anyone, not even Alex.

When you enter, you’ll find a document of Adam Shepherd’s honorable discharge, and a book puzzle.

* Attic Book Puzzle

Slide the pieces to form the coat of arms on the flag above the table. It’s rather easy; just slide them around until the flag matches. For a hint, the open spaces will be in the top corners. Finish it to get a Letter from my father for Alex, and a Map of Silent Hill. Leave the attic, and head downstairs to trigger a cutscene.

* CUTSCENE: Alex demands information from his mother, but members of the Order, who kidnap his mother, attack them. The house undergoes a transformation as a Hellstate occurs, and Alex awakens.

Chapter Eight – The Attic

Chapter Eight Objectives

1. Escape the house.
2. Solve each puzzle.

* YouTube: Silent Hill: Homecoming -56- Attic Puzzle (Time: 2:06)
* NOTE: You still have a map of this area – it’s slightly different, but still available.

First things first – defeat the Schism that appears. Walk into the kitchen and collect the Frowning Mask from the stand. Grab the Health Drink, and head through the single door to the East to find two bodies on either side of a cross – it’s another puzzle, but you don’t have everything you need yet.

There’s a lever by the stairs, pull it to open the way into the attic. Head upstairs, and push the large piece of furniture in the room leading to the attic to obtain the Heart of Darkness Medal. Head to the attic, and move through the now-typical obstacles (squeeze through, duck under, hop over) until you reach the East side – there you’ll find a Fallen Star Medal and a Jacket. The Jacket is where you’ll be placing the Medals you collect – head to the West side of the attic to acquire the Vile Acts Medal. Head back to the Jacket, and place the Medals in the following order – Fallen Star Medal, Heart of Darkness Medal, Vile Acts Medal. This will cause one of four runes around the exit will light up.

Head back to the 2nd floor, and grab the Meat Cleaver from the bureau. Then, head through the double doors, jump across the gap, and grab the Stuffed Rabbit from the bathtub, and the Indifferent Mask from the stand by the mirrors. Head back downstairs, and pull the lever again to open the door to what was Josh and Alex’s room. Head in, read the creepy message on the wall, and examine the document by the door to hear about the lobotomy from Alchemilla Hospital again. Set the clock in the room to 2:06 to open the four windows. Place the Stuffed Rabbit in the lit window to cause a rune to glow at the exit. Cut open the door by the clock to find a Butcher Knife and a Child’s Drawing. Head downstairs to the room Alex’s mother was in and collect the Angry Mask and save your game.

Open the door to the kitchen and head back to the Cross Puzzle, and place the Indifferent Mask on the body facing South, and the Frowning Mask on the body facing North. Another rune around the door will glow. Time to head into the basement.

When you enter the basement, work your way through and defeat the Lurker that appears. Duck under the pipes, squeeze through the gap, and cut open the door. You’ll be in the Hellstate version of Adam’s Hunting Room – grab the Bogeyman Knife from the Schism body hanging on the wall. Place the knives in your inventory in their spots on the board, and the Bogeyman Knife in the Schism head laying there to cause a third rune to glow around the exit.

Go to the exit and use the door – the house will revert to it’s normal state. Alex will exit.

* CUTSCENE: Elle shows up, and tells Alex she can’t find her mother. Wheeler calls Alex on the radio, and Alex asks him to get them a boat to get to Silent Hill. Alex and Elle talk on the boat as they head to Silent Hill, until the Order shows up and kidnaps Elle. Alex is knocked off the boat into the water, and awakens in a foggy area.

Chapter Nine – Dark Times

Chapter Nine Objectives

1. Find Elle.
2. Search for a way into the prison.
3. Disable the electric prison gate.

* NOTE: You already obtained the map for this area when you found the Map of Silent Hill in Alex’s attic.

Work your way up the stairs, jumping across gaps and climbing the ladder, and duck through the gap to Sagan St. Walk across the street to trigger a cutscene.

* CUTSCENE: Wheeler calls Alex on the radio, and informs him that he and Elle were taken to the prison.

You’ll want to stop at the Bait Shop and duck through the gap to find a box of Pistol Ammunition, a Child’s Drawing, and a Save Point. Head across the plank bridge to the front of the Overlook Penitentiary to find out that the entrance isn’t accessible. Go out the West door to the next section of the map. You’ll see a gate circled on Simmons St., and the Toluca Lake Water and Power building will be circled.

Head to the gate.

* CUTSCENE: Alex calls Wheeler to tell him the rear gate is electrified – the Order is running power directly from Toluca Lake Water and Power to do it, so Alex is going to head there to shut it off.

Head to the Boiler Room.

Boiler Room

Head down the stairs. There’s a Lurker here, so be careful when moving around in the water.

Grab the Health Drink from near the northernmost boilers, and head up the West stairs.

Head West out of the alley, and go through the gates on your left to find a Serum on the bench. It’s the indent of the Alchemilla Hospital. Head North up Wilson St. and into the Toluca Lake Offices.

Toluca Lake Offices

Read the newspaper, and grab the Pistol Ammunition in the top right corner of the Reception room. Head North the Lower Landing, then West to the Office. Grab the Health Drink, then go south and jump the gap to find a Save Point. Hack open the door to continue.

Head into the Kitchen to find the Toluca Lake Water and Power Key. Head back to the Lower Landing, and use the key on the locked door to get into the Toluca Lake Water and Power building.

Toluca Lake Water and Power

There are some Order members here – defeat them, and earn yourself the Out of Order Achievement. Move south and climb up the ledge. Climb the ladder and walk over to the shelf to collect two boxes of Rifle Ammunition. There’s a First Aid Kit in the top left corner of the 2nd floor, so grab it, use the valve for generator bank B, and head back downstairs.

There’s some Pistol Ammunition near the bottom right area of the 1st floor, be sure to grab it. Use the valve for generator bank A, then head upstairs and use the valve for generator bank C. This is the proper order to shut down the systems – use the Turbine Control switch after the short cutscene to kill the power. More Order members will appear, head back out to the Toluca Lake Offices.

Toluca Lake Offices

Stop by the save point to save your game, then head out of the Toluca Lake Offices and back to the Boiler Room.

Boiler Room

Head back through the Boiler Room, defeating or avoiding the Lurker when it appears, and exit through the North back onto Simmons St. When you reach the now-safe gate, a Siam will bust through. Defeat it with whatever weapon you’re comfortable with, and head through the gate.

Overlook Penitentiary, Outside

When you first walk through the gate, be sure to grab the Health Drink from the upper left corner, and the Pulaski Axe from the back of the broken down truck. Head North, and wind your way back to the front of the penitentiary.

Chapter Ten – Prison

Chapter Ten Objectives

1. Find Elle.
2. Find Wheeler.
3. Defeat Asphyxia.

When you first enter, you’ll be in Visitor Security – hook a left and use the Save Point to save your game. Walk forward to receive a transmission from Wheeler telling you that he’s in Cellblock B, so head around the barred reception room and through the door. Head into the Lower Guard Room to your right and pull the lever to unlock the gate.

Hack through the barricade into the Visitors Booths, and grab the First Aid Kit. At the end of this hall is another gate like the first one, but the switches are broken. Break the glass to your left and hop over into the other side of the Visitors Booths. When you exit, you’ll be in a large room with a staircase – the Overlook Penitentiary Map is on the West wall.

Head into the little supply closet to the South and grab the Health Drink, then go up the staircase.

Work around and jump across the gap to get into the upper-left building. Pull the lever in here to unlock the entrance to the upper wing of Cellblock B. You’ll encounter two Order members – walk slowly enough and they won’t notice you, giving you time to kill the first one with the Mk 23 Handgun, and the other one with a quick melee weapon (two shots to the head will kill them). In cell B5 you’ll find a newspaper clipping about the degradation of Shepherd’s Glen, but nothing of worth is found in B8 – B6. Pull the lever on the wall to open the door to the stairwell.

You’ll be in the lower wing of Cellblock B, head into the room that connects to the Shower Area to find a box of Rifle Ammunition. Head West into the area with cells B9 – B14 to fight two more Order members – they fall easily enough to combos from the Ceremonial Dagger. Wheeler is in a cell here – pull the switch on the wall to release him.

Wheeler will inform you that they took Elle to Solitary. Suddenly, a Siam appears – pull out the Pulaski Axe and beat it down. It destroys the way that you came from, so Wheeler will go unlock another gate for you. Head through the only available path to 2nd floor.

When you get up there, stop in the busted open Upper Guard room to retrieve a Child’s Drawing. Follow Wheeler, jump across the gap, and duck through the gap to find another switch. Pull it to open the locked gate to let you back into the upper wing of Cellblock B where you started. Head back to the room you first entered up here so Wheeler can find the control panel for the prison’s gate system – it magically works for him. He’ll tell you to head around to the door leading to the upper wing of Cellblock A – do so now.

After Wheeler unlocks the door for you, head North through the double doors and continue North – Wheeler will try to open the gate, but it’ll be damaged. Head back inside and he’ll unlock the stairwell leading down to the 1st floor.

You’ll be in the lower wing of Cellblock A. Transmission interference will cause Wheeler to shout for you, and a Needler will appear – take him down. Wheeler will open the gate to the Shower Room, so head that way. Two Needlers will attack, so defeat them (combos from the Ceremonial Dagger work well). The only shower stall with a light has a breachable passage – whip out the Pulaski Axe to break your way into the Boiler Room.

Head North out of the Boiler Room, and up the stairs.

There’s a Save Point here, so save your game. Go north, following the path, and you’ll find a jammed set of double doors. Alex will call Wheeler, who tells him to head back – get moving. Head back to the Save Room, and down the stairs.

There’s a metal gate that’ll slide open here, so head through it. Follow the available path and you’ll wind up in the lower wing of Cellblock A (A9 – A14). Head up the stairs and grab the Health Drink from the shelf, then jump across the gap and enter cell A20 to find a Radio Wire. Head back downstairs, duck into the gap of cell A11, squeeze through into cell A10, and grab the Loose Wire from the headlight. Head back upstairs and use the Radio Wire in the Junction Box in the Upper Guard Room. Head out of the 2nd floor exit, and enter the door on your right to find a Scrap of Wire. You’ll have to head out of the bottom floor exit to find the keypad before you can put the Loose Wire in the Junction Box, so go ahead and do that to find the Penitentiary Wire Puzzle.

* Overlook Penitentiary Wire Puzzle

Just like the one at the Grand Hotel, you’ve got five wires in this order at the top – white, green, yellow, blue, red. The proper order to wire the bottom is (from left to right) – red, white, green, blue, yellow. This restores power to three switches – one in the room with the junction box, and two downstairs. It also restores power to the keypad. Pull the switch in the room with you and jump across to the cell that opens to obtain a Serum. Head back downstairs and use the other two switches to gain some clues – prisoner 110391 can help you, so input 1110391 in the keypad to unlock the door to solitary confinement.

* CUTSCENE: Alex finds his mother on a cross – and has a decision to make.

You’ll need to decide whether or not to kill Alex’s mom – this affects which ending you get. As soon as you pick one or the other, the game will transition to Hellstate.

Hellstate

Exit the Solitary Confinement area, and you’ll find a Save Point – save your game. Head back into what was Cellblock A to find a horrific puzzle – a mound of flesh is blocking your path. There are three dials – from the entrance, set the left dial to the Knight (horse), the back dial to the Coffin, and the right dial to the blank space. Investigate the hole to unlock the puzzle, and the flesh is pulled up and out of your way.

Drop down the hole to meet up with Wheeler. There’s a Save Point down here, so save your game. Squeeze through the hole to the West and head up the northern stairs; follow the path until you trigger a cutscene with two Needlers. Having Wheeler around will make the fight a snap, so just finish them off and head down the path until you find a room to the left – there’s a Save Point and First Aid Kit there, as well as a Health Drink.

There’s another industrial door like the one you encountered when you found Dr. Fitch just outside – open it.

* CUTSCENE: Alex finds Judge Holloway, and drops Elle’s locket freeing her. She asks where Elle is, and Wheeler is grabbed by an enormous, malformed monstrosity. Judge Holloway escapes, and Alex faces off against Asphyxia.

BOSS: Asphyxia

* YouTube: Silent Hill: Homecoming Prison Boss (Time: 8:29)

Asphyxia has four attacks – it spits gas at you that can knock you down, and spins around to hit you with it’s tail. If it knocks you down, it’ll attempt to body slam you, or grab you and crush you to death. When it grabs you, tap whatever button appears rapidly to escape, or you’ll be instantly killed – all other attacks can be dodged the usual way.

When you avoid Asphyxia’s body slam, hit its tail to cause it to drop down. Immediately use a charged Heavy Attack to inflict some massive damage. The third time you do this, you’ll see the X context button appear – tap it to defeat Asphyxia, and earn the Catch Your Breath Achievement.

* CUTSCENE: Alex sees Josh through the glass window Asphyxia destroyed when it died.

Chapter Eleven – Church

Chapter Eleven Objectives

1. Search the church for anything helpful.

2. Find the pieces missing from the five prongs.

Follow Josh by hopping over the ledge and going through the doors. Run up to him (he’ll run away again), and follow him. Defeat the Smog, and use the valve to open the gate – as soon as you pass through the gate, look to your right for a Health Drink. Move forward and up the stairs to the entrance of what looks like a Hellstate church.

Church of the Holy Way

Use the Ceremonial Dagger on the organ at the front of the building to unlock some gates, and pick up the Shotgun Ammunition. From the front entrance, head left and duck under the beams to find a baptismal font. Use the valve at the back to open it, and defeat the Swarms that appear. Examine the now-open font to obtain the Chalice Plate. Check the bowl on the dresser to collect a photo of Josh, and head up the stairs – there’s a confessional booth and a Save Point.

Use the confessional booth to start a Dialog Scenario – which options you pick determine the ending of the game. Remember, Y options are polite, nice options, with X options being the blunt or mean options. When the conversation is over, collect the Kneeling Man Plate from the booth the confessor was in. Save your game, and grab the Unlit Candle from the shelf in the back room, as well as the Health Drink near the pit.

From the entrance to the Church, head to the right and duck under the beams to find an offering plate – place the Unlit Candle there to obtain the Candle Plate. Head upstairs to receive a broken transmission, and grab the Health Drink. Examine the paintings, and cut the painting of the man to find the Tree Plate. There’s a box of Shotgun Ammunition in the corner of the pews, a box of Rifle Ammunition in the back room, and a First Aid Kit further down the back room hallway. Examine the window of the Knight being stabbed to find the Sword Plate. This will cause a Siam to burst out of the window, throwing you back to the 1st floor, where another Siam awaits. Defeat both Siams, then place the plates in the organ.

* Organ Puzzle

There are five prongs to place the plates, and each has a word on it. They are (in no particular order) – Sorrow, Desire, Vengeance, Penitence, Sacrifice. Place the plates as follows – Sorrow – Candle, Desire – Tree, Vengeance – Sword, Penitence – Kneeling Man, Sacrifice – Chalice. The organ will open to reveal Alex’s father, Adam.

* CUTSCENE: Adam tells Alex that it’s okay that he hates him – and wonders why he still wears his old dog tags. When Alex tells him they’re his, that he’s a soldier, Adam tells him he’s been in a mental hospital since the day he gave Josh the family ring. Alex refuses to accept it, but Pyramid Head appears, and cuts Adam in half.

You’ll obtain the Shepherd Family Ring. Walk forward past the pieces of Alex’s dad to find a Health Drink and a stairwell. Head down the stairwell, and at the bottom, head left to find a mining suit to protect you. Head back through all the gas jets, and push the button by the door.

* CUTSCENE: Curtis, from the junkyard, greets Alex in the elevator. He tells him he now has clarity, and knocks Alex out with a hammer. He then drags him to a cell with Judge Holloway, who tells Alex about the sacrifices necessary to protect Shepherd’s Glen.

Chapter Twelve – Underground

Chapter Twelve Objectives

1. Find Elle.
2. Find Joshua.

* TIP: Be ready to tap buttons rapidly – you’re about to find yourself in the middle of the most intriguing Context Scenario yet.

When the Judge takes the drill to your leg, wait until the context button appears, then tap it like crazy – you’ll break free of the restraints, and Judge Holloway will attempt to drill a hole in your face. When the context button appears, tap it rapidly and you’ll kill the Judge, shoving the drill into her bottom jaw up into her brain. Take a look around the room to find the Lair Map, a Health Drink, the Ceremonial Dagger, and a First Aid Kit.

Sector 2

There’s a Save Point in the room with you, so use it to save your game. Head to Sector 2, and enter room 212 – defeat the Order member and obtain the Steel Pipe from the cop’s corpse. Break the glass into room 211 and defeat another Order member.

There’s a box of Shotgun Ammunition, an Mk 23 Handgun, and the Sector 3 Key. Head back out of room 212 to the Sector 2 hallway, and head towards Sector 3, defeating Order members along the way. Use the Sector 3 Key on the door to gain access.

Sector 3

Pry open the second door on the right, and head down the hall. Defeat the two Order members, duck under the gate, and watch the cutscene with Curtis and Elle. You’ll need to hurry here – climb up the wall on the left of the door, push the fridge out of the way, and pry open the door with the Steel Pipe. Curtis will spot you and begin his attack – avoid his thrusts and pop him with the Steel Pipe to take him down without taking any damage. Finish him with a Heavy Attack when you stun him, and begin your escape with Elle.

With Elle in your party, head back to the first Sector 3 area, defeat the two Order members (one carries a shotgun, so be careful), and go to Sector 2, heading North to the hall where room 114 is. With Elle in your party, you can open the gate to Sector 1.

Sector 1

Enter room 113, and break the glass to find Wheeler – you’ll have two options, which will affect the end of the game. Head through the door to room 111, which will cause a short cutscene to play, and exit into the hall.

At the end of the hall is a Save Point in the room below room 108, so save your game. Head into the large circular room to find the Lair Puzzle.

* Lair Puzzle

Use the Ceremonial Dagger to unlock the pillars – this will tell you which family belongs to what two symbols. The symbol at the top of the window and the symbol above the pillar lock go to one family a piece – rotate the rings until the symbol for “Man”(between the bug and wind) is in the place where Doc Fitch left his pad, and rotate the outer ring until the symbol for “Eye”(between the triangle and the scales) is behind it. It’ll unlock the door’s lock, letting you mess with it.

Rotate the symbols until the two symbols for the Shepherd family (water and a trident) are lined up on the door to unlock it.

Find the Shepherd family altar and examine it to discover that Alex was to be sacrificed.

* CUTSCENE: Alex will have a flashback of him and Joshua on a boat – and discovers he’s the reason for everything that’s happened.

BOSS: Amnion

Amnion is a bit more difficult than your other bosses – it has several metal legs holding up it’s soft, vulnerable body. Stay near the center, where the grating is, and dodge it’s attacks until you get an opening to whack the soft bits. Keep doing this until it flips over during a cinematic.

In it’s second stage, it’s a little faster, but not by much. Again, stay in the center, avoid it’s attacks, and it’ll get it’s legs stuck in the grating during it’s smash attack. Whack the soft bits until you finally see X pop up as a context clue, tap it and defeat Amnion to obtain the Head Above Water Achievement.

Congratulations! You’ve completed Silent Hill: Homecoming!

Posted: December 29th, 2009
Categories: games, walk through, xbox, zombies
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Forza 3 Christmas Special

The last Forza giveaway wa a bit of a failure, no thanks to them enforcing copyright of trademarks within their own game; you can’t gift anything with someone elses work in it (even if you bought it) or with any manufacturers decals. This is dumb on so many levels, you don’t strip the paint off a car or remove any carbon fiber attachments when you sell it IRL!

So I had to recreate everything from scratch, which was hard when it came to the carbon fiber layer because I’m using a monitor that runs twice what te xbox puts out which means I have very fine pixel wide stripes down the screen; this isn’t even noticable unless you’re doing something graphics related that involves 1px lines, then it all goes pear shaped.

My CF is done though, and I sent all my garage from BaSH PR0MPT to xBaSHxPR0MPTx (thanks xbox live, again :/) and have $300k in the bank I need to spend and send from my old account.

I made a sweet custom after setting myself a challenge to use a colour I would never normally use, a metallic pink. Balanced it with white and the black grey of the CF nicely and it looks sweet. Used an old 2004 WRX STi I had sitting in the garage, modified it with a mix’n’match body kit to some success. Looks pretty sweet!

So with that $300k+ I have I might buy a line up of rexxies and apply the custom paint job to them all and send them out to my userlist just as a lame albeit well intended Christmas present. Gives me until the 25th to custom paint and modify a fleet of vehicles but it’s doable.

I really wish Forza let you edit templates in a PC environment. 🙁

Posted: December 18th, 2009
Categories: forza, games, xbox
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Comments: 2 Comments.

L4D2 New Content ‘The Passing’

In an yesterday, Valve announced the first downloadable content add-on for Left 4 Dead 2 (L4D2), “The Passing,” targeted for an early Spring 2010 release. The Passing “brings the original Left 4 Dead (L4D1) Survivors down south for a meeting with the L4D2 cast, while delivering new single-player, multiplayer and co-operative gameplay for the PC and Xbox 360.” Valve stated that players will assume the role of the L4D2 Survivors and merely meet with the L4D1 characters.

In addition to a new co-operative campaign and arenas for Survival, Versus and Scavenge mode, there will also be a “new co-operative challenge mode of play.” It’s unknown whether the L4D1 crew will be joining them making 8 v 8 or whether it will still be 4 v 4. The Passing will also add a new “uncommon common” zombie class, melee weapon and firearms, along with a new set of achievements for xbox users.

Doug Lombardi, VP of marketing at Valve, is calling The Passing “the most important campaign in the Left 4 Dead story.” There has been no comment on pricing yet, nor whether this means there will be more than 1-2 online play servers active at any given time for xbox live users, which is the most common complaint about the game. Even during prime time you can search to join active games and come up with 0 for half the campaigns even though sales dictate that L4D2 is a smash hit, the official game servers just don’t seem to talk to one another.

4x30G L4D2 Achievements 10 Mins

Below are four easy 30 gamer point achievements for Left 4 Dead 2 on the Xbox, I will repost these individually in a moment for maximum SEO to save folks who, like me, don’t xbox near their PCs and certainly don’t want to sit through 10 minutes of some 13 year old kid squeeking and explaining it on a YouTube video when it can be summed up in a few paragraphs.

WING AND A PRAYER (30G)

This is a relatively easy achievement if done correctly, it starts in Swamp Fever campaign at level 2 and best played with 3 AI, you need not do level 1 beforehand and it can be done on it’s own; do not use pills or adrenaline anytime before popping the hatch on the downed airliner you will come across as these are temporary health and will reduce over time thus being considered ‘damage’ by the game. Arm yourself with a melee weapon (I normally advise against ever using melee weapons, as you should be using your handguns to kill infected through levels and only switch to main firearm when you’re dealing with a zerg rush).

First on arriving at the aeroplane examine it closely and remove any petrol cans or gas containers nearby, there’s often some in the water too, piss them right off because these going off will lead to you having to repeat it all over again. Pop the hatch, about-face (right bumper) and run to the plane wing, zig zag a little and do it in one swift movement. You need to get with your back up into the corner between the planes engine and the wing, crouch (left bumper) and switch to melee and hold your right trigger (swinging wildly), your team mates will crowd in in front of you and be your meatshield.

Hold that right trigger, watch your health, and should it drop by a single point hit start, vote, return to lobby and repeat until you get your 30 gamer points. All you have to do is not take a single point of damage until the zerg rush is over. Caution though, sometimes you get unexpected spawns of chargers, smokers, spitters, or tanks which can cause a complete abort.

SOB STORY (30G)

This achievement starts in Hard Rain level 2, you need not complete level 1 before attempting this, and it is best carried out with 4 player-characters as the AI can sometimes balls things up for you. Ensure that all team members are savvy and not mad spray and pray 13 year olds who like to tell you “Cool story bro…” stories over the headset, they’re a sure fire way to blow any achievement.

Head through the sugar mill, use common sense and avoid witches, when you get to the cane field (you’ll know it) the best way to navigate is to all line up with the pipe on the ground and head forwards in unison. Stay together, walk around witches, and bam, 30 gamer points.

VIOLENCE IN SILENCE (30G)

This achievement starts in The Parish level 3, you need not complete level 1 or 2 before attempting this, and it is best carried out with 4 player-characters as the AI can sometimes balls things up for you, but not always. Ensure that all team members are savvy and not mad spray and pray 13 year olds who like to tell you “Cool story bro…” stories over the headset, they’re a sure fire way to blow any achievement.

It’s best to stick to melee weapons unless you trust your team enough for firearms, avoid red cars, head for white only, watch for witches and chargers as they can end it all for you in a heartbeat.

BRIDGE OVER TREBLED SLAUGHTER (30G)

This achievement starts in The Parish level 4 finale, you need not complete levels previously before attempting this, and it is best carried out with 4 player-characters as the AI will always balls this up for you. Ensure that all team members are savvy and not mad spray and pray 13 year olds who like to tell you “Cool story bro…” stories over the headset, they’re a sure fire way to blow any achievement.

To begin the game start it on Expert Mode, the reason for this is, you want friendly fire before you leave the safe room. Grab a gun and execute any AI that are in the room with you, then call a vote and switch it back to Easy Mode. You will not complete this with AI alive, they just get in the way. Another alternative is to console kick them, but killing them is just as simple. You can also spam for the achievement where you have to help up 10 survivors under the speed effects of adrenaline by spamming the above process of killing then ressing the AI on Expert Mode. I digress.

Grab adrenaline, a medi pack, the auto shotgun (I never use this aside from this situation where it’s essential and built for the job), you need stopping power. Also grab a melee weapon, these are usually shit but knocking the enemies off is all you want to do here, you’re not out for kills.

When you go out, hit the button on the right and rush down the left hand side of the bridge, swing right when you can and adrenaline shot when you get to the white trucks, swing out right again on the scaffholding to avoid mobs, do the “Omfg get off me dance.” of spinning around and right and left triggering we all do whenever you get slowed and simply GET TO DE CHOPPAH. It’s easy to do in under 3 minutes, well, was the first time I got it, need to get it on my new profile after Microsoft dicked me.

To view other simple Achievement walk-throughs that aren’t YouTube videos (I game in a different room to any PC’s, so I use my iPhone to check walk throughs and 99.99% are videos. :/) check out my Guardin’ Gnome achievement which unlocks the Depeche Mode t-shirt avatar reward.

 

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